I place small notes in obvious spots like his locker and he doesn't find them, I spray my perfume in his car and he doesn't even know, I wait for him after his wrestling meets just to tell him he did amazing and give him a kiss before he goes off with the boys and he doesn't seem to think anything of it.
When he says he'll call, he doesn't.
Want specifics? Just tonight:
He came over for a couple of hours before practice and mentioned that his friend had asked to come over. I told him that he didn't have to come back and see me after practice, that he could go see his friend. Right before he left he said he would call and I gave him a kiss and told him to drive safely. THREE hours later I text him "I assume you are out of practice and aren't going to call." He text back "You said I could go to Daniel's."
Am I the one in the wrong??? ??? I'm SO confuzed... :(
2007-02-12 11:25:37 · 14 answers · asked by KiraDawn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You guys sound young. Boys at that age don't understand what women need yet. But, if it bothers you that much, then don't stay in a relationship that makes you miserable. Life is too short and there are way to many men out there to stay with one that makes you sad.
2007-02-12 11:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by Brat_20_99 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it sounds like you may be expecting too much. Guys don't get subtelty. (spelling?) For instance:
Spraying perfume in the car: He might assume it was left over from when you were last in it - or the smell could have faded by the time he got in it - or he could be annoyed because he might not really want his car to smell like girl's perfume.
Small notes: if he doesn't find them, he doesn't find them. If you gripe to him about not finding them, he only sees a negative in the situation, not a positive.
Him coming over and forgetting to call you: classic male. Three hours really isn't that long a time either to be out of contact with someone.
I would suggest backing off from him a bit, give him some space so he doesn't feel smothered, and when you're feeling the need to do something special for him, do it in a big obvious way. :)
Ask if he wants you to help wash his car...
Tell him he's wonderful...
Dress up pretty for him, and TELL him you did so...
2007-02-12 11:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by jewelsinme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you in the wrong about that specific calling thing after practice? Somewhat. Don't tell him something that you don't mean. Don't test him to see if he will call if you tell him it's OK not to. Guys are literal. What you say is what you mean. Don't fault him if he takes you literally.
On the other hand, he seems rather clueless and insensitive. Doesn't seem like he's putting much effort into paying attention to you and your emotional needs. Tell him. Have a heart to heart with him. Tell him that you like being thought of. Be careful about how you phrase your hurt, though. It's real easy to get guys all on the defensive, and you won't get anywhere when that happens. God knows I've done enough of that. Tell him that you feel hurt when he doesn't notice you. Tell him that it makes you happy when he is affectionate and pays you a compliment. Don't go pointing fingers at him saying "you don't do this.....that.....etc"
2007-02-12 11:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by Elisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad my BF is the same way...
He goes out to some tournament or something, says he will call and 10 hours later not even a smiley face text to say hello. That only takes two seconds......
I know he loves me he just does not get why that tiny effort makes us feel special. Even when explained to them!
Best of luck. I'm sure he cares, but he probably won't change.
And yes actually you are in the wrong, because you should know him by now. He is a literal guy.
If roles were reversed you would call between practice and Daniel's right? Me too......
C'est la vie... our guys are not like us.
2007-02-12 11:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by cathoratio 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is why he is a boy, that is typical young and immature male behavior.
If you are very blessed, when you are grown-up you will find a man who values everything about you the big things, the little things, the good, the bad and everything in between.
Young guys do not multitask very well, it is just not part of their ability at that age. You have to either decide to deal with it, or drop him and date someone else who may or may not be more attentive and considerate. Good luck and have a good day.
2007-02-12 11:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't realize that women need that kind of validation. Oftentimes, they forget small details like when to call or what your hair looked like two weeks ago. The best thing to do is talk to him and tell him that it hurts when he doesn't recognize the little things you do for him and when he doesn't keep promises or call when he says he will. Most of the time, all it takes is for you to express that these things are important to you. Try to be forgiving about it and not guilt him into things but at the same time, don't let him take your feelings for granted. When something makes you feel unloved or under appreciated, you need to tell him that. Men aren't mind-readers, trust me.
2007-02-12 11:35:43 · answer #6 · answered by PUtuba7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guys just don't know how a girl feels. i mean you are of course not in the wrong for wanting your boyfriend to pay more attention to you. it's normal.but, maybe since he probably wont notice the little things you do you should make the small things a little bit bigger (if you know what i mean).he's just being a regular misguided man.
2007-02-12 11:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by sexy mo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i sorry to tell you but i dont think he feels the same way about as you do him. the only person he is thinking about is him self. maybe you should about whats best for you self and what will make you happy. you shouldn't worry about him he seen to act like a d***.unless you have been smothering him. them you should maybe back off just a little.
2007-02-12 11:40:20 · answer #8 · answered by Dovie E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys his age do not usually call when they say they are going too. It took my boyfriend years to break that irritating habit! And we are both in our 30's!
2007-02-12 11:32:54 · answer #9 · answered by Meadow Soprano 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
jeesh! you have a very ignorant boyfriend! if he really likes you, talk to him about it. He will probably understand. if not, dump his sorry butt! He didn't deserve you anyway he wasn't smart enough to notice the little things!
2007-02-20 09:34:13 · answer #10 · answered by Lia Danielle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋