Child support/child custody/court orders?

Question

I am doing some research on child support and I have some questions? Are there REALLY any fairness to the way courts handle these situations. It's cut and dry when you have a true "deadbeat dad" who doesn't take any responsibility, but what about those parents who are doing their part, making their payments, keeping in contact with their kids and the courts treat them like they don't exist. And the parent who has custody takes advantage of that. The courts are not set up to handle these types of situations and the children suffer even more as a result. Both parents need to be thouroughly checked out before too many decisions are made in a case. The child needs both parents and if one parent is using the system they need to go to jail. If the system is set up for the benefit of the children then money should not be the driving force behind determinations. These children don't know anything other than the parents that love them. It's getting worse as the years go by. Laws need to change.

Each case is unique in their own way, we can't choose who we are born to and we can't make people do the right thing. I did not put this out there to directly attack either side. I've learned that there must be every conceivable circumstance you could think of that affects both sides. I also didn't mean to stereotype anyone by using "deadbeat dad", I meant to put "deadbeat parent". If a parent is so set on not being a parent you are better off without the presence of that person. If you go after that person with a vengeful heart, you become what they are. I'm not saying do not try and get what you deserve to help raise your children, I'm saying if it becomes you life long ambition - it's become extremely unhealthy for you. And if you are raising kids with this attitude you are not be a good parent. I can say this because I have been there and have seen the travesty of both sides.

Answer 1

Excellent question. The sad reality is that too many parents are so bitter with their ex that they will do anything to 'even the score' in their minds. They quickly lose sight of the most vulnerable--their kids. The non-custodial parent refuses to "pay that @#$@&" and the custodial parent denies visitation due to non payment. In all reality--the ones who are really suffering are the kids. They don't get the support they should and they're denied the company of a parent who loves them. Maybe parents should be forced to listen to themselves bag about the other parent so they know what their children are overhearing. Sad!!!

Answer 2

You will have to go to the court house and file a motion to modify custody. You will need your original case # from the custody order,the courts will need a good reason as to why you want to make this change. If the child is going to have to move you will need a even better reason as to the change. You do not need a lawyer,it is a very easy form to fill out, (I just filed one a couple of weeks ago) and as long as everyone is in agreement it shouldn't take long in court. Good Luck Good Luck

Answer 3

You have a valid point , But life is not always fair, so what will you do to change the system in the future?

Answer 4

This IS a valid point -- and yes, I am a RESPONSIBLE PARENT who has a violent, abusive ex from a short disaster of a marriage (who is a DEADBEAT DAD -- and owes multiple tens of thousands of dollars of validated and ordered Arrearages).

I have had to TAKE FULL Responsibility for my children (which I did WILLINGLY -- everything from their Daily needs to their Medical/Dental/Hospitalization Costs/Insurance to their events and activities and everything in between (and yes, the ex avoided all attempts to be found -- from changing license plates to moving around to PO Boxes rented from those rental places, to quitting jobs and then getting paid under the table ... and this includes AVOIDING being served with Court Papers for Modification Orders too. BOTH of my children are now adults -- and this HUGE arrearage is out there -- and the LAWS need to be STIFFENED up so that those of us (RESPONSIBLE PARENTS) do NOT have to do all we have to do in order to TRY to find the ex ... and then have to ENDURE their further abuse/torment, their burglaries of our property, and the abuse of the children that occurs when they "Demand" through the courts a visitation with the dubious 'claim' that they are 'denied' visitation (the only reason this comes up is because they are close to being tagged for ARREARAGES ... so some ploy has to happen).

PLUS ... onto my own problems . there is the problem added where one lives on one state, and the Ex settles in another ... which is NOTORIOUS for NON-Enforcement of Child Support Orders (CALIFORNIA is this state). California does NOT cooperate with other states in the enforcement of Child Support Orders ... and in fact, I Can definitely state when the ex Stalked my Residence (he was on unemployment from California at the time, travelled 2,000 miles to do this), we used that License Plate to trace his rental/personal car track, and yes, got SOME information .. and Florida (my state) passed this info onto California -- which did NOTHING! I am so UPSET about this -- because the ONLY ones this is hurting is MY CHILDREN ... and did hurt them. The things that I sacrificed (and it was a lot) was worth it for me .. and I willingly made the sacrifices, but I STILL have their Hospital Bills and Medical/Dental Bills that I'll be paying on for years to come ...

THEN ... there is the situation with my sibling (brother) who has worked VERY, VERY HARD, and his Ex (who has only one child) has stated in OPEN COURT that HER agenda is to TAKE HIM FOR ALL HE IS WORTH .. and yes, she continues to try ... and he has been miserable for several years now (he has 6 years to go on this order). He provides an UNFAIR (horribly high) share through the State of Michigan, which does ENFORCE their Child Support Orders. The child he is supporting is NOT seeing any of that Child Support Money -- his ex is using it for HER own enjoyment -- to drink, to gamble, to go on expensive vacations, to purchase expensive clothing, new vehicles .. and yes, I've PERSONALLY seen this child is torn up, nasty, filthy clothing .. and with not a good coat in the winter to wear to school. THAT is just IRRITATING me to no end .. and yes, he DOES do his visitation .. and does support this child. I am SO ANGRY That she purchases expensive things, and pays for her and her latest 'fling' to go to hotels and the Child does NOT even get $5 of the child support money to go to Scouts on a monthly basis from this WOMAN!

LAWS NEED TO CHANGE .. and they need to change now.

They also need to ENFORCE not just the basic amount of child support ...

But also need to have MANDATORY Enforcement of the Medical/Hospital/Dental Co-Pays or Deductibles, MANDATORY Enforcement of the non-custodial parent to provide INSURANCE for the Children (I was the ONLY source of Insurance for MY Children -- my ex NEVER provided any), MANDATORY Enforcement of SHARED Costs (like the Child Care fees, the Costs of their Activities/Events, including School Supplies), and MANDATORY Enforcement of the Non-Custodial Parent's Monitor Fees too for their Visitation (in my ex's case -- he EVEN WALKED away from these Costs, and YES, I was SUED and HAD to PAY THEM!)

TOTALLY needs a REVAMP .. and NOW. Sick and tired of Deadbeats and those scamming the system that do NOT ever want to provide for their children or care for them.