so my bf gets a little violent when he gtes mad..mostly just slamming the door or hitting a wall...but the other day we got in a fight and he pulled my hair! ..so i left but were still talking...anyways i told him he needs some anger managemnets clasees or something so we went to a therapist and she said that hes fine that all he needs to do is read some books on how to control his anger...anyways he says hell never put a hand on me again...but i dont know what to do....anyones gone been through this before...
2007-02-12 10:41:56 · 27 answers · asked by lore 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
DUMP him! Take my word for it, he'll probably do it again. If you do decide to trust him, make it ABSOLUTELY clear to him you will NEVER tolerate violence in your relationship, or he will immediately and unconditionally lose you. You should NEVER stand for violence.
Sorry I sound so emphatic about it, but violence is never warranted in a relationship.
2007-02-12 10:43:47 · answer #1 · answered by Gary D 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Here is a life lesson. Once it gets violent, leave for good and never talk to the person again. Friends, family, spouse, boyfriend. Doesn't matter.
You are already falling into the trap, going to the therapist with him like it's partially your responsibility. Don't trust youself to know when it's "too bad" it's already too bad you need to stop all contact and get a restraining order if he even looks at you.
If the therapist said "he's fine" you need to report the theapist to the state board of health.
2007-02-12 18:46:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe whats he going to do next ?
I've been through 2 very violent marraiges, I won't go into exact details but I really shouldn't be here,
On one occasion my ex tried to strangle me, we'd been together 6 weeks, he also after we got married made me walk 6 miles and then kicked the s*it out of me, I was 7 months pregnant,
Another time I had internal bleeding due to a ruptured placenta, I was 9 months pregnant, He wouldn't get me an ambulance and my baby died, I nearly did too,
Then there was my 2nd husband that used to throw me and my kids around, smash windows and scream at me,
Turned out he'd once chased someone with a machete
I have had years of this and I finally got free last year,
I have to have mental health support, and not a day goes by where I wished I had got out sooner,
Honey sometimes I sit up at night, all night cos I can't stop thinking about what they did,
I have no confidence or faith in myself,
Please sweetheart don't stay with him, cos it's a long road back after
2007-02-12 18:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please dump him before its too late. ive been thru this and it only gets worse and each time hes more sorry than the last but he still goes on to do it again. this man obviously has issues with anger and they are getting more and more out of control please dont be there when he gets way out of control. if you love him and want to give him a chance then tell him to call you when hes had help please dont make the mistake of staying and thinking he'll change ALL violent relationships start with small stuff then they get worse and worse till someone gets hurt. Please listen i speak from experience stay away from this guy at least until u can be sure hes got help and its worked. if he really cares for you then he will understand.
Take care i hope everything works out for you.
2007-02-12 18:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by dee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs anger management counseling, not just to "read some books". Find someone who specializes in anger management and see if he'll talk to that person.
In the mean time if he lays a hand on you, call the cops. Abusive behavior often starts small and escalates. Make sure he's well aware that you will NOT tolerate it.
2007-02-12 18:45:08 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never had a violent boyfriend, but I have had a controlling boyfriend. He didn't see a problem and he never changed. He is no longer my boyfriend. I don't know what your boyfriend feels about his behavior. It is risky being with someone who gets violent (even if the physical violence is focused on inanimate objects). You need to seriously consider if you want to be in this relationship if it never gets better. He never physically hurt you before, but he has stepped that up a notch. Be very careful.
2007-02-12 18:45:49 · answer #6 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off he a punk for doing that i grew up with my mom going through that i seen what it can do to a woman!!!!!! if he pulled your hair u got lucky he has too much anger he need to deal with and really does he read if not the book thinkg wont work. i would get out before it gets worse you dont want to go through that kind of stuff so leave him and thats comming from a guy!!!!!
2007-02-12 18:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What kind of therapist did he talk to?
I do not know any that would say " you're a little troubled, Just read a couple books and that will take care of it."
I think he also has a lying problem as well
2007-02-12 18:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by zen522 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ditch him immediately. He shows all the evidence of an abuser, and it is only a matter of time before he raises a hand against you.
Please, leave him now. Don't let yourself get hurt. He is a textbook abuser. He WILL do it again. The progression of events has already led him to lay a hand against you. It will only get worse.
2007-02-12 18:45:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
seriously be glad he is a BF and not a hubby, guys like this only escalate in violence, you don't wanna end up a bloody mess or even worse dead. Don't get back with him, there are a TON of men out there that don't lay a hand on women! Don't do that to yourself. Hey and maybe by not getting back with him, he will get some help.
2007-02-12 18:45:19 · answer #10 · answered by 4Real 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
From the sounds of it, that's all it is... anger control problems, buy some books and talk things over with him, teach, or remind him that violence is not necessarily the answer. Other than that it sounds like hes fine.
2007-02-12 18:47:19 · answer #11 · answered by Eric B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋