my friend had a daughter who is picked on?

Question

Hi My best friend has a 12 year old daughter who is over weight. asahe is a friendly girl and very polite but has a weight problem. My friend has tried all sorts of diets and fitness routines but nothing seems to work.She only has one friend at school and even she calls her names. Alot of the children at the school are very unkind to her and constantly pick on her.My friend has had a chat with her teacher but theres not much she can do. As a result she doesnt want to go to school even though she is quite bright and gets very upset as under normal cercumstances she would like school. Is there anything else she can do or does anyone know of a good diet (that works) for a 12 year old.

Answer 1

Try weight watchers. I believe you can do it that young. It works awesome!!!! Good luck to her... kids can be so cruel!

Answer 2

the best thing would be to consult a dietitian. The answer is not dieting but a whole lifestyle change.People who diet end up putting on more weight than they started with.
If this girl is being picked on by her "friend" then she has no friends at school. Kids are mean but if she has no friends then changing schools may be an idea and enrol her in many after school activities which will help her lose weight, build a social network other than school and build her confidence.

Answer 3

I dont really know specific diets or exercises for a 12 year old, but i would just say healthier food and maybe smaller portions, and tell her to go for long walks every night, go with her so she's not alone. once she's lost a bit of the weight i would change her schools so she can have a new start without everyone still thinking of her as the fat kid. then she can make some good friends because it sounds like none of the kids in her class are nice anyway.

Answer 4

Advice for your friend:

Deal with the self esteem issue first. This is the big one, and you need to just forget about weight loss for now. When self esteem grows, comfort eating will reduce and interest in physical activities will grow. But that's for later.

First, she needs lots of support, love, encouragement, warmth, positive vibes, acceptance - all of which need to be entirely unconditional and NOT AT ALL related to any weight loss she might or might not achieve. She's 12, she has time.

Second, what's going on here is bullying. "There's not much I can do" is nonsense. Escalate - take to the head, and don't stop there.

What is the school's anti-bullying policy? Request a copy. Doesn't exist? The school is legally in a very sticky position if that's the case. If it does exist, is it being implemented? How? Who's been trained? When was her teacher last trained in anti-bullying measures? How are the children educated that the ethos of their school is firmly against bullying of any kind, whether psychological, physical or other.

Always be firm, always be clear, but never lose your head. Always be diplomatic. Sometimes you may need to walk out of a meeting with teacher or head saying, "I'm not satisfied with the outcome of this discussion; I don't think you're dealing with this problem adequately, and I need to consider what I'm going to do next". They should not expect you to be the expert here.

The child should also start a diary of bullying incidents. This should be shown to NO-ONE without her permission, and she certainly should never show it to ANY of her friends. Give her a place in an adult's bedroom where it can be kept (to remove the temptation to show a friend), and promise not to look at it without her permission. And keep your own diary as well. Encourage her to confide in you, and use the information in your discussions with the authorities as far as she is willing to allow you to do that. Sometimes it's OK to say "I do have specific incidents of that to report, but I won't betray my daughter's trust, and she's not ready for me to confide that in you yet".

If the authorities do need to see the diaries (with her permission), give them photocopies.

Good luck; give love.

Answer 5

Kids are so mean unforchantly there isn't much we can do to gut rid of the bullys. It is good to make sure your friends daughter is made aware from an adults prospective to not take it to personal kids are very mean and they will continue to be mean let her know she is a beautiful person and some people can't see the beauty in everyone she should let her know that she is proud of her for the person she is and if she is ever uncomfortable about anything she can always talk to her. Maybe your friend can try weight watchers with her,

Answer 6

ok, 12 year olds r not meant to diet! DIETING IS EVIL! the only thing she can/shud do r thease:
1. go on wakls in the parks with her mom, go swimming, just 2 be very active daily.
2.have her mother talk 2 her friend about how hurtful she is being
3.through public communication ( nothing embarrassing, maybe talking 2 the person who runs the enarest commmunity center or YMCA) and asking the person if there are any people going throuh the same thing as the girl.
basically, she shud do all 3.

Answer 7

Oh dear what a poor child. I feel for her as I have a weight problem and have always had one most of my life. I think the best solution due to her age is Weight Watchers. It is the most sensible way to teach her to eat, also she can eat all types of food just less of it. It will also blend in with whatever food the other kids are having (I sat alone at a special diet table in the dining room at school). I think the WW class will be the best for her. Apart from that maybe to have a chat with her best friend mother to try and stop her friend joining in my calling her names to make it worse. wish her all the best of luck. Try the website www.weightwatchers.co.uk

Answer 8

Have a look at the site run by Dr Gillian McKeith (from the TV programme "You Are What You Eat").

I think your friend will get some useful info from there:

http://www.drgillianmckeith.com/

I would also recommend that your friend pursues the victimisation problem - this is still outright bullying and should not be tolerated. A child needs protection and moral support otherwise it could have serious consequences for their future.

Answer 9

what do you mean there is not a lot the teacher can do! i would talk to the head its so sad that bullying just gets accepted as the norm. and as a result more kids comit suicide over it, if i was your freind yes i would definatly start encouraging healthy eating. but that does not mean the bullying will go away. maybe your freind could get the school to call the parents of the children and arrange a meeting. i would not just accept that because she is overweight she is going to get bullied, bullying is more and more common stamp it out. good luck to your freind and her daughter xx

Answer 10

Theres a dvd called cathe body blast series which worked well for my 14 yr old cousin.In the first month she lost 9lbs.But she did one of the programs everyday.

Answer 11

my step son saw a nutritionist that costs 40 dollars to visit once every 3 weeks. he did really well, lost 35lbs at 8years old. he just turned 10 and has kept weight off. it's all about lifestyle changes and her mom has to do it as well and it will take months not anything immediate.