Has anyone ever experienced this. My husband has been the father to my current 5yr old son since he was born. We have been married for almost 2yrs and he wants another baby, but I have no desire at all. When we got married he said he wanted 2 kids, I said absolutly not but maybe 1 more. I was hoping as I got older, I am now 26 that the desire to have another child might grow in me, but so far nothing and he is making coments. I dont know if I should go to counseling or something, but I do not want to be pregnant or do the new baby thing again. I hope this does not make me a bad person, but has any other women expeirenced this or something similar cause I really do not know what to do. Luckily I have a little time cause when he does make coments he doesnt want to try to have the baby for atleast another 6-8 mnths, but I know the time will come quickly and I am freaking out. I love my husband very much. Please help...
2007-02-12 10:10:27 · 10 answers · asked by Izzy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Well, you told him maybe 1 more! Maybe, is maybe. Now you say no. That's not what you said, you said maybe! He took that as a yes or that he could talk you into it! I take it the 5 yr old is not his? So, he wants the experience of having a biological child. You really can't blame him. No, it does not make you a bad person, but you two should've been totally in agreement on this before marriage! This could cause a major problem with you two. Children are a very big part to life and if you say no, he may regret marrying you. Try to think of his feelings and what you said to him when you got married. Yes, counseling may help.
2007-02-12 10:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was the first child his? It sounds like it was with another man. He has every right to want a child that's genetic. This should have been very clear before you got married. I know that having kids is the most challenging act to do in the world, but you should really try to have one for him. Having kids is a serious marriage issue.
(Hint: since he says he doesn't want one right now, you can tell him that you will if he really wants to. Maybe that'll be enough, just knowing that you would.)
2007-02-12 10:27:13 · answer #2 · answered by CharlieC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi well im 12 goin on 13 and i have a similar problem but its between my mom and my dad. my dad is almost fourty and he wants another child and i already have two sisters i dont want another one. I really want my dad to know that i just....long story short..its a life changing desicion and its really freaking me out..i want to tell my mom if she really wants another one too but i know she doesnt for numerous reasons..ie finacially..emotionally...i dont want to hurt my dad's feelings but i seriously want to to make hime understand why. i think that you have to step back and look at the whole picture make a list of reasons why you should have and reasons why you should not have another child. having three kids (includingmyself) is alot and stress too but its also a wonderful thing....but personally im happy and i want to keep it that way if thats how u feel u should tell him and if you guys love each other as much as i think u do, then i now he will come to understand and because he loves u he will accept it (im sorry if i speak out of place). im going to try to talk to my mom about this i know it will feel weird but i know that its neccisary its a life changing thing...i hope this helps...
sincerely...
i understand...
2007-02-14 18:16:19 · answer #3 · answered by thinking_of_you 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR uterus, and YOUR decision, NOT HIS. Tell him HE can carry it if he wants another one. It does NOT make you a bad person. If he truly loves you, he won't give you an ultimatum. Plus, you're the one who's going to have to take care of it 24 hours a day, not him. Get your tubes tied, and that'll be the end of it.
Also, if you just 'give in' have it and resent your husband for it, that won't help your marriage any. And, you might resent the baby too.
2007-02-12 10:15:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well you should think of your son. Unless he has a lot of close cousins he should have a brother or sister to relate with, because you and your husband are not going to be around forever.
I know it was good to have my two brothers around when our mother died.
2007-02-12 10:18:10 · answer #5 · answered by Aliz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say if he is the one who is going to be up with a baby all night, changing all the diapers, doing the round the clock feedings, etc. Then give him another!
2007-02-12 10:16:51 · answer #6 · answered by TheSavant 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well that does not make you a bad person and if you dont wont another baby thats up to you it is heard i know i have 2 kids and im now on my 3rd one and i dont know how im going to do it.........but it dont hurt to have another kid i mean its a part of you something that you can give to the world........
2007-02-12 10:22:31 · answer #7 · answered by rose m 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your husband wants another baby than tell him he better help you take care of it!!!
2007-02-12 10:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by hottie 123 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him straight up that u don't want to have another child i mean its up to both of u to have a child
2007-02-12 10:13:51 · answer #9 · answered by silly_monkey89 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to your husband about your feelings. chances are if you feel that strongly you may have negative feelings towards another child if you were to have one. ask him if he would want you to feel that way towards his child?
2007-02-12 10:14:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋