My fiancee is in the Army....?

Question

and we are planning our Feb 2008 wedding. I am afraid to plan anything and put deposits down due to the fact that he can be deployed at any time between now and july 2008. I am panicing b/c i only have a year to plan our wedding. If he is deployed, he will not be able to come home for the wedding. I don't know what to do!! Please help! I am also wondering if anyone knows how likely it is for him to be deployed. Are his chances good? He is a light-wheeled vehicle mechanic if that helps. thanks is advance for your help.

Answer 1

you cannot let the military dictate your happiness. i spent 14 years in and was seriously injured in iraq. from 99 until me getting out in dec of last year, i have spent a lot of time away from home. it is hard on the soldier and his family. there is no easy way to put it, but you must live life to the fullest. i now have three beautiful children whom i am now being able to finally enjoy. right now there are not as great a need for maintenance personnel since combat troops is what is more needed and civilian contractors are taking over a lot or jobs overseas right now. the last unit i was in all of the maintenance personnel who did not just want to go were left back since they were not needed. yes that includes your 63bravo you have.my brother is in the same situation now too. everybody does not go to iraq, and you may be one of those families. there is still the chance of being sent to a unit that is always on the go and he could spend lots of time training and deployed, and that happens as well.make sure to get familiar with military programs and all that the post have to help you while he is there or away.there are endless resources to assist you and the more you know, the easier it is if he is away. take the army family team building classes and it will surely benefit you. other than that it really depends on where he goes as far as him deploying. his m.o.s. can go to any unit and so that makes it hard to determine if he is already in a unit. most importantly, both of you sit and talk about what you want to do, your job can be just as hard as his when he is away. lastly, you can get out of a lease if you decide to go back home , if he gets sent away.you just have to decide where to store your house hold goods. find military spouses who can better help you than i can

Answer 2

My husband and I got engaged in March 2003, and he left for Iraq in April. I planned our wedding for May 2004, since he was supposed to be coming home after 12 months. I sent out the invitations the first week in April, and he called the NEXT DAY to say that they had been extended indefinitely. I had to cancel the whole wedding, and he didn't get home until July 2004 - we got married in a small ceremony the next day. Very few of our family were there, and some of his friends from the unit (none of whom I had ever met.) I got most of the deposits back, due to people feeling so horrible for me and it being beyond our control. The ceremony site, however, refused to return my deposit (it was only $100, for goodness sake). Since our wedding basically sucked, we're planning on renewing our vows at some point. I've known several Army couples who did the same thing.

I know that is not what you want to hear, but you need to understand that it is almost impossible to plan around the military. It's hard to know his chances of being deployed, but I will tell you my husband is about to leave for the THIRD time. If he hasn't been yet, your fiance will have to go at some point. Most "big" units are on a year-on, year -off schedule. His chain of command would be a better source of information as to when they may be leaving.

If you think you may have to cancel any plans, I'd discuss it with your vendors before-hand. That way you can gauge how helpful they may be if it does happen, and you can get a heads-up on their cancellation policies. Some people may be very willing to help you out if they know that he is military, some people won't make any exceptions, period.

Good luck and I hope you get the wedding of your dreams.

Answer 3

With the army deployments being so unpredictable I would say to move up your wedding to June. Otherwise you could be putting your wedding off over and over because the chances of him deploying before Feb '08 are pretty good. It may not be exactly when you had envisioned but trust me once you are an army wife you will have most occasions not go as you had planned/envisioned. But if you really just feel like you have to wait then I would do what another poster said about getting a military clause in your contracts. Good luck!

Answer 4

how can anyone take ONE YEAR TO PLAN ANYTHING?
honestly u only need about a month to plan a decent wedding so don't waste all your savings on it...the divorce rate is over 50%.

and 99% he will be deployed somewhere. probably not in iraq, the chances are low but most likely he will be deployed outside of US.

here is a reality tv idea for you...follow him to where ever he is deployed and get married on the 'combat zone'.

Answer 5

My hubby is in the army and we've been married almost 5 years now, and it's hard to plan ANYTHING, but my advice would be to ask the locations where you are trying to plan your wedding and events if they would be willing to refund the deposits if the circumstances would change. You'd be surprised at how many people are willing to help you out, because of your circumstances. And your question about the deployment, you won't know until it happens. It's so hard to tell anything with the Army, my hubby's last deployment, we got 24 hours notice. It's part of the life!

Hope this is of some help to you.

Answer 6

Sounds like your are more in love with the idea of planning a wedding than you are with the soldier.

If it takes you a year to plan your wedding it won't be long after that you will be getting an unplanned divorce.

The excitement and anticipation of the year’s planning for the wedding will quickly turn into the reality of married life. You will be disappointed and depressed then you will go back to Mommy so you can take another year to plan your next wedding.

You need to chose between the planning or the soldier. If it is the soldier who wins out get married now forget all this needless planning.

You may own his heart but his *** belongs to Uncle Sam

Answer 7

my husband has the same MOS and yes, he can be deployed. he has been deployed 3 times already. if i were you, i would do a civil service or something now and have the big wedding when he gets back from his deployment. he may not even go at all depending on where you are stationed.

Answer 8

Is there any reason you're waiting until next year? Make it simple and do it soon. I seriously believe if folks spent as much time and energy on the MARRIAGE as they do on the wedding, marriages would last longer.
My wife and I had a very simple, inexpensive CHURCH wedding, a few people and we just passed our 38 year mark last Wednesday!
(USN/retired since '85)

Answer 9

get a military claus ein all of your contracts.. so that you won;lt lose any deposits or face penalties if you have to change the date. My wedding got pushed back three times, due to everyday Naval commitments.. long before we went to Iraq or Afghanistan.

Answer 10

Have him go to his COMMAND FIRST SGT, and ask what the chances are that he will deploy.
Don't take a year to plan a wedding, simplify it a bit. If you are going to be a military wife, get use to the fact now. sacrifice's have to be made.
Good luck,
USN(ret)