Finding His Way Into My Bed...?

Question

My 8y/o son basically refuses to sleep in his own bed anymore. Back in October we moved into a new house. He helped "design" his new room and he has everything that he wants/needs. However, around the end of November, he started finding his way to my bed, after I'd already put him to bed in his.

So, I notice he's in my bed and I politely wake him up and take him to go back to his own bed. However, when I wake up in the morning...poof, he's back in bed with me.

What am I to do? Any suggestions?

I have asked him why he comes to my bed at night. He says that he misses his mommy at night or that he is having nightmares. So, I no longer leave the tv on in his room (as some noises or sounds can make some weird dreams...). Ive also tried leaving his fan on and turning it off (for both noise and warmth/coolness reasons)

I am a single parent and he is an only child. I retired from the military and was living with my parents for 2 years before I could save enough money to buy this house. And even though I've lived on my own before, it was on the base, where I felt secure. Whereas now, even though I feel that the neighborhood is particularly safe (the police station is only 4 blocks away) it doesn't feel the same as it did living on base. He couldn't by chance be feeding off my semi-insecurity could he?

Answer 1

i live on base, and it really helps me feel secure so i know how you feel with that. also, because my military hubby is gone a lot, we have a big dog..doberman. so i know no one is coming into the house. maybe you should get your son a dog, that sleeps in his room only if he stays in there with it. that will maybe help him, and when the dog gets bigger it'll help you mentally too. for me, just knowing my dog is in the house makes it easier to sleep at night. hope this helps.

Answer 2

Talk to him about why he isn't liking his room. Is it noises? Shadows? At 8 to start coming into bed there is probably a really good reason. Why not sleep in his room for a night and see if that helps to figure out what is going on. my guess is it may be a noise. My house scared me when I first moved in. The noises were amazing. I won't even go into what the possums did LOl. Talk to him and find out a reason. If there is not one he can come up with start a chart. Every night in his bed is a start 7 stars = a small treat. after a few weeks make it 14 stars untill you can stop it all together

Answer 3

Sit down and have a talk with him about his getting out of bed and see why he feels he can't sleep in his own bed. Let him know this is not acceptable behavior he is a big kid now and shouldn't be sleeping in his parents bed. Does he have a night light sleep sound anything to keep him comfortable? Even maybe if he has a tv to keep it on but very low. I know some nights when my husband is in bed way before me I get scared so I leave the tv on low for comfort.

Answer 4

8 yrs old is old enough to ask him WHY he is doing this. He could be scared of the new room -- yes, I know he helped design it, but it is still new. Maybe new noises,etc. Also, could he be sleep walking? One of my sons (around that age) would get up, go to the bathroom and then come into my room for a 'talk' and then go back to bed. He was sound asleep! This only lasted a short while, but maybe that is what your son is doing.

Answer 5

Oh, heh...I guess all parents have to go through that.
I may be 13 in the parenting section...but I know exactly why he's doing that. He's scared...bad dream, some kind of earache, maybe hit his head somewhere...I remember doing the same thing a while ago. Parents make you feel at home, and warm and cozy, and that's why they cling to you like superglue.

If you really want it to stop, give him some more sheets or more covers! I remember having like no sheets, and I ended up FREEZING all the time. So, consider these, and try them out if you want.

Best wishes,
ecstatic

Answer 6

Are you bothered by his sleeping with you because you think he's too old to be sleeping with you or you don't think it's appropriate or what? Really, he's only 8. He'll grow out of it. When you push him away (which is basically what you're doing here) and tell him he has to sleep in his room and cant sleep with you, that might leave him feeling abandoned or even more scared to sleep in his room. He just needs his mom. Even more so because he doesnt have a dad (unless he is in contact with his dad). He only has you so just let him sleep with you. I'm not a parent (I'm only 17) but I still remember all the feelings of childhood and why/how i did things.

Answer 7

my 7 year old was doing the same thing so i let him sleep on the sofa a couple of times and then back into his bed it seems to have worked sofar except for warm nights so maybe his getting a little warm

Answer 8

LOL!!! Awww, do not get mad at them. It is simplest considering the fact that they make the error of pondering that we consider like them :) If they consider a woman is "horny, hottttt, or wonderful, or simply effortlessly attractive to the eyes" they do wish to visit mattress along with her and if she provided, barring having a gf or being married or something, he's SO going to intercourse her. That's simply their concept procedure sweetie. They are instead practical of their wishes. I had this uber hottttttt man after me for an whole yr (he is a participant so I would not mattress him) or even my woman peers had been like---he is hotttttt, soar his bones. LOL!!!! So it isn't restricted to guys simplest, a few women consider like that too :)

Answer 9

HI, MY SON ONE DAY HE REUSES TO SLEEP IN BED ANYMORE. MAY HUSBAND AND I JUST LET HIM SLEEP WITH US. WE TRY EVERY THING BUT NOTING WORK. ON DAY I ASK HIM WHAT WAS WRONG. HE SAID THAT HE HAD A VERY VERY VERY SCARY DREAM WITH LOUD NOISE. FROM THAT DAY ON HE SLEEP-ED WITH US UNTIL HE WAS 13 YEARS OLD. I KNOW THAT'S A LONG TIME BUT THAT THE TIME HE NEED. MY SON WAS VERY SCARED EVEN IF A LOUD SOUND CAME FROM OUT SIDE. HE WOULD COME RUN TO MY SIDE. I THINK YOU NEED TO LET HIM SLEEP WITH YOU FOR A WHILE. I THANK HE NEED SOME LOVE. THEY ALL DO. BUT KEEP TRYING TO PUT HIM BACK TO HIS BED.

Answer 10

Just be persistant. My 6 year old does the same thing. Eventually, he'll sleep in his own room again.