Someone plese help, my girlfriend of 8 years all a sudden want to be alone?

Question

Hi I am 28, my girlfriend is turning 25, I dated her since she was turning 17 we had a fantastic relationship the past almost 8 years... it would be 8 years next month for us, the past month has been very difficult for us, we got in many argument, we had a great christmas, however once new year came we had problems, it all began, we got in many fights in our relationship and have always gotten through it however this time its different, lately I noticed she been acting different, like when ur with someone for this long u know when something isn't right, so this past Fri I asked her if she felt we been different lately she nodded yes, I then asked her if she felt we been distanace lately she nodded yes, I then painfully asked her if she still want to be with me she shrudded her shoulder like she doesn't know. She told me she want to be alone now and be independent, fact that she met me at 16 she said she want to enjoy being single again I did not see this comin as we were fine 2 mt ago

Thx for all the help, I have to add everything has been going til our recent problem, however the past 3 years I been unemployed. I make my money by playing poker and have been doing very good, she occasionally told me to find a job but she did not seem too angry or mad that I have not been working, then all a sudden the past month after few arguments she told me she done a lot of deep thinking and the fact that I don't have a career bothers her, thing is why did she tell me, since she told me this before our talk this Friday which was a week ago this friday I immideately applied for many jobs and got some reply for interviews, I told her I will quit gambling and get a job right away, I was planning to do that all along b/c I was going to propose to her this summer, told her if she give me some time I change everything but she told me the fact that I am doing it now and not the past 3 years is something that bothers her b/c she should not have to tell me to do that

I do not know what to put into this but she told me she will always love me and there will always be a place for me in her heart, I really have a feeling she wants to move on, Wed is Valentine I really want to see her and give her the gifts I got her, what do I do? That night with that sad talk she told me she want to spend Valentine with me still I think its pity... and at one point she gave me a long passionate kiss... I don't know what is going on... last week we had made love and it was passionate, she occasionally text me she miss and love me and emailed me everymornign like she used to and in the emails it seem like everything is fine, only reason I asked her this Fri is b/c when I'm with her she seem a bit different... maybe I should not have brought it up and just done something about it and hope she change her mind? Well yesturday I called her and try to beg her to come back and it did not help I'm sure its over, she todl me its not me she just wants to be alone now

Answer 1

I know youve been together for a long time, but if she wants space you should let her have it. She is probably at a point in her life when she's unsure about everything going on. By you giving her space it may help her realize how much she does want to be w/ you. If you tried to keep her tied down it may be that you will run her away and that she'll never come back to you again!

Answer 2

I've got 2 observations to share.

1) Many marraiges break up after 7 years (it's called the 7 year itch) which is about how long you two have been together.

2) Women in their mid 20s start thinking about having families and getting married. Since you've been together for 8 years and she's still your girlfriend, it looks like one of you has problems with committment. Women want a lifelong mate, and if you're not that, then she SHOULD move on.

Answer 3

Hun, u gotta give her the space she asked for. You take the time away from her to explore your single life as well.
Its natural to wonder about others when two people have been together for so long and have only been together.
Things may turn out that she isnt happy with anyone but u.
But, things may turn out that the two of you lost what u once had.
The important thing is that you dont sit at home and sulk. Use this time to explore your options as well. If the two of you are meant to be together, u will be.
Give her this time to decide what she truly wants.
8 years is a long time to be together and it isnt something she will forget about over night. But she was honest and u gotta respect her feelings.
She didnt say she didnt care for you anymore, she simply said she wants to be alone and be single again.
She has been feeling this way for awhile, just didnt know how to tell u. Two months ago, she was feeling like this. She just didnt tell u.
I hope everything works out the way u want it to after you take the time to explore your single life as well.
good luck to u.

Answer 4

Perhaps she just needs some breathing room, to see if she's missed anything over the past (almost) 8 years. Give her that choice. Hopefully the saying will hold true for you, that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" If not, it's best that you learn BEFORE you marry.

Answer 5

maybe she wants to move forward and get married and is getting inpatient with you if you have been going out with her for 8 and everything has stayed the same. after 8 years i would pop the question with a ring!!! just an idea

Answer 6

You've been together for eight years — you both deserve a break. Let her live her life and stop worrying. If she wants her freedom, she has every right to go out and get it.

Answer 7

Don't start dating unless she does first. I think that what she did was really... unfaithful. If she starts dating again, then you should, too! If she does not want to be with you, I can garuntee you that someone does!