My mother in law drives me nuts?

Question

My mother in law drives me nuts - and the rest of his family are no better.
My Husband and I have been together for 4 and a half years, married for almost one year. His mum has always been an issue for us. His family are the most anti-social bunch I have ever seen, at least when it comes to me. I go over to there houses, lucky if they say hello to me half the time.. I have to make an obvious hello to get something in return. At family gatherings I will make an effort to go sit with them and join discussion, but they do not ever turn and involve me in the conversation. Hubbys mum is always calling whenever we have a family gathering or xmas etc, and will have something to complain about and like to make arguments out of nothing, and the thing she says that I hate the most when on the phone to hubby 'is beck in the room, go to a different room'. What sort of crap is that! And after the family function etc she will call again to have a winge about something. The year of planning our wedding was horrible when it came to her, and she will rarely say something in front of me so it is hard for me to get my opinion in. This is driving me insane! I get an upset stomach every time we are heading over to see them.
Does any one have any ideas?? I am very sick the excuse that I stole her son away - get over it!!

Thanks so far. I can say that yes hubby and I talk about this and he is generally not defensive but I see it hurts him and he has tried to talk to his mum a few times with no luck. She just ignors and says everything is fine. Same old crap. Someone mentioned below sneeky - ooh this is her no doubt. I swear she must sit there all day trying to think of omething to complain about. We are going over there for 'a chat' this week.. I am just afarin that I have been trying to keep the peace for so long that I will pipe up.. dont want to tho!!

Answer 1

You could:

1. start drinking excessively
2. speak in tongues when she speaks to you
3. flash her when she looks your way
4. tell her you two are adopting a crack baby
5. slip her a mickey
6. put a pillow over her head at night.
7. dump him, he's a baby boy and will never grow up. Find a real man, or at least find a man who's an ORPHAN!

Answer 2

Well does he think the world of her? Of course he does, but what i mean does he get all offensive when you try to talk about how she treats you? If so than you need to slap him in the face and tell him what is going on because your not going to put up with that crap. And then do it to his mother because she should know. Or maybe if violence isn't the answer tell her how you feel about what she is doing to you and then maybe she might treat you better. And with that stupid excuse that you stole her son away, its an excuse that's all it is. She wouldn't think that the queen of England is good enough for her son and she also is afraid of the fact that another woman other than her can make her son happy and like i said that scares her so maybe try to show her that your not a thief but someone who loves her son and then (no guarantees) she might let up a little bit, enough at least to break through her defenses.

Answer 3

There's a night [?Fox Network?] rerun TV show about this called Everybody Loves Raymond. Start watching it and tell your husband, oh this is my favorite program -- I can't miss "Everybody....Raymond" ha, it's just like "mom". Or just wait and let him get the idea. Keep coaxing him to watch it with you.
Later, discuss [while laughing] ha, what would your Mother think if she knew
how much I relate to this show.
Be prepared to receive SOME ...negative feedback, and to empathize with
some of the others feelings if warranted. [Understanding helps forgiveness]
PS: your husband might get some ideas about how he has been like the
guy on TV and how he should take more responsibility -- i.e. Any behavior
and stupidity like Raymond's which promotes a NEVER ENDING situation comedy is ridiculous!! It's a comedy show life! Nothing Changes 'Til Something Changes....

Answer 4

What can i say? you are not the only one! I am in the same boat as you, and as years are going, everytime we want a small change in our lives, holiday, new home, or even children, they are there to judge. My mother in law is evil woman, because now she has put his other son and daughter against me which is okay because they are stupid people anwyay, but my husband is bloody naive, sweet, sensitive, and gets upset about his family problems. He makes me feel small and that as if beasue of me this is happening. He doesn't seem to see the picture. I am the one reading books to learn, i am the one going to council, but non of them make any other effort. Husband one day is okay my side, next he's gone to his mummy's and then he says' oh, they won't live for long' - how do you know? from one day to the other things change and i may be dead before that evil, dominant, sarcastic, critical, judgemental, openionated woman who wish she'd be gone, gone far, so far that TV would video her first woman on the moon!!

Answer 5

Been there done that! My mother in law now is wonderful and has never bugged us, she lives in another state but has never butted into our business, which is why I love her! We are going on four years of being married and see her maybe 3 times a year, if anything my hubby calls her at least once a week to check on her. She welcomed me into the family from day one, I am the one that isn't sociable or into the family gathering thing but they still like me. You need to tell your hubby to put his foot down, your his wife now and you should be numero uno in his life now, she's his mom so it's he that should set her straight. Just don't allow her to come between you guy's, they are very sneaky when they don't like you!

Answer 6

No one deserves to feel that uncomfortable. Maybe you should consider sitting down and telling her how you feel. And if that does not work than may try skipping a few of the family events. Make a point. You should not have to be that stressed.

Answer 7

It is unfortunate, but mother-in-law seems to be synonymous with pain in the ass.
And the likelihood is that she always will be. The real question is what does the hubby think? Is he aware of her pain in the assness?
I would hope that he is aware of the way she and the remainder of his family make you feel and he's not just some "momma's boy."
It's his family, if he loves you, let him deal with them. (I.e. explain to them how they make you feel).
Good luck.

Answer 8

Stop going over to see her and the rest of the family. Tell your husband what you wrote here; he should support you on this. Good luck!

Answer 9

I think you're in a hard position on this and you can't do something for it, the only one who can is your husband. He must talk to his family and his mother because they are disrespecting you and that's bad because you're the wife so a part of him and if they don't like you then they don't like your husband.

Answer 10

i had motherinlaw like that well the best thing to do is just not go over there and she'll get the message and have your hubby tell her that peroiod. that is what happened to me. yep then years later she died and not even my kids would go to the funeral because she was so mean.