If you were adopted please answer this?

Question

What are the effects on your life from not being raised by a birthparent?

Answer 1

I came up with alot of behaviors that my parents couldn't explain, favorite foods, the way i talk, the music i like, my temperment. whe I finally met my birth parents, it was made quite clear. There are things that adoptive parents will never recognize or understand with thier child. also, i was greatful to my adoptive parents for the things they did for me. It is still hard to trust them after all the lies about why I didn't look like either of them, things like that. Even though my life was not so difficult, i have always had that feeling of being substandard. like, why didn't my parents want me when they kept other kids? Why don't my adoptive parents understand me or love me as thier other children who act and look like them?

Answer 2

I was adopted at age 2 months by 2 FANTASTIC parents. I have always known I was adopted. I never felt "different" or weird- I have 2 brothers, 1 is also adopted and 1 is their biological child. We were all treated exactly the same! The only thing I can say about any effects it may have had on my life is that, I do not know very much about my biological family's medical history, and it is sort of a struggle, trying to find out. I have also sometimes wondered what my birth parents look like, or what their personalities are like. But I do not think that it is a negative thing. I have children of my own now and yes, I am curious about my biological family. But I really was given a fabulous family!

Answer 3

From the other answers and personal experience I would say it is extremely important that the child knows that they were adopted from a very young age. Not telling them stigmatizes the whole concept by making it seem like there is something wrong with being adopted. It can be challenge but it is not a bad thing. There are children who don't know their birth fathers, children of sperm donors, children who's birth parents divorced and the non-custodial parent just disappeared, children who are orphans, children with an incarcerated birth parent, it's all tough. If your real parents happen to also be your birth parents then I guess that is one less disadvantage that you will have to face in life but there are probably many other disadvantages that you will have to deal with.

Answer 4

Depends. I didn't know until i was 17. My parents just said oh by the way. i became a very angry teen because my life had just been turned up side down. and i was a teen. I am 27 years old now I have a wonderful husband and we are expecting # 3. I still talk to my birth mother and my birth father and my half sister, my adopted parents really didn't want any thing to do with me when i found out. Haven't spoke to them in many many years. Don't really care, there loss! Hope this helps

Answer 5

I am not adopted but 2 close friends of mine are. They were both raised by really good adoptive parents but unlike their siblings who are not adopted, they both admittedly (and obviously) suffer from very low self esteem and problems with their identities. I know this isn't true of every adopted person, I think it probably depends on inherent personality as well as a number of other factors. Some people never seem to resolve the fact that they're adopted whilst others accept and look at it more pragmatically.

Answer 6

I was adopted at birth. Both of my birth parents are blind. What kind of effects do you mean? Do I feel different? A little yes. I felt like I didn't quite belong. With the younger people in the family it wasn't a big deal. The older people never made a big deal out of it either, I was just part of the family, I never felt out of place.

Answer 7

I was not adopted, was in foster care, but also not raised by my birth parent. Moving around a lot meant being afraid to let people get to close because I might lose them. I always felt different from everyone around me and often felt very lonely. I worried about my birth mom and how she might be being treated, since she was mentally challenged and living in a facility.