I put my fiance's sisters in the wedding as bridesmaids but it turned out to be a disasterous decision. They were not supportive, showed up late to dress appointments and always had an attitude. It was so bad that I had to ask two of them not to be in the wedding, one is still participating. Now his side of the family is in an uproar and threathening not to come to the wedding. Family is important and I would like to mend the relationship before the marriage. What should I do? I would also like to have a small informal wedding but he would like something more formal what is the middle ground?
2007-02-12 08:19:33 · 8 answers · asked by girly77 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Wow, you might actually have to suck it up and have a talk with the 2 sister and let them back in the wedding!!
2007-02-12 08:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you've already done the harm. If you had thought things out before you asked them to be in your wedding, this could have been avoided. (I did the exact same thing and lost a close friend because of it and I have four bridesmaids to one groomsman) At this point, the only way to smooth this over (and you want to, because it's much easier to come into the family on good terms than bad) is to apologize for asking them to not be in the wedding and blame it on wedding jitters. A lot of brides freak out, so you could probably get away with that explanation. Just suck it up and be nice as you can.
I'm not saying it'll be easy, but wouldn't you rather bite the bullet now than be on bad terms with the in-laws for the rest of your married life?
Whatever you choose to do, good luck.
2007-02-12 16:57:26 · answer #2 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Middle ground to me seems like he'll have to decide. If his sisters are uncooperative it will make not only dress appointments uncomfortable and disastrous, but also the wedding day! Talk to him, either have him get his sisters to be on better behavior, or tell his family to back off because you aren't going to have your day ruined. If neither of those work, you'll have to go for the small informal wedding and chose your friends as bridesmaids instead. Listen, it's YOUR day. Planning a wedding is stressful enough without added elements making it harder - especially when they should be helping, not hindering. Good luck.
2007-02-12 16:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First rule is that you can't ask people to not be bridesmaids without having massive problems to deal with. If your goal is to make everything go as smoothly as possible, you need to say "I'm very sorry I asked you to not be in the wedding. I'm just stressed and overwhelmed, and I wasn't thinking. Please still be my bridesmaid." Honestly, this is the only way to mend the relationship. Eat crow, honey, as much as you might hate it.
The middle ground, by the way, is a semi-formal wedding. The guest list should be about midway between what you wanted and what he wanted. Think a simple banquet hall instead of a five-star hotel for the reception. And don't go overboard with the details. That's semiformal.
2007-02-12 16:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a dilly of a pickle. This is exactly why I did not ask my fiance's sister to be in my wedding, but even with one of my closest friends I am having a similar problem. She didn't show up to try on dresses and now she won't return my calls.I definatly agree with all of the above and say make ammends with the family. Apologize no matter how much of your pride it hurts and get on with life. Good luck, I hope your wedding will be wonderful and fabulous.
2007-02-12 16:50:36 · answer #5 · answered by Me, again 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your future sister in law need to sit down and have a talk let her know what was bothering you and she can let you know whats bothering her. I would apologize for dismissing her from the wedding. You have to remember this is your husbands sister not just some random girl that means nothing to you. The two of you need to learn to get along because most likely anything that goes wrong between the two of you meaning you and your sister in law it will probably be blamed on you. Blood is thicker than water. Good luck I hope the two of you resolve your issues
2007-02-12 17:27:42 · answer #6 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok u thought it could work it did not. u cant make everyone happy and i personally believe on ur wedding day its all about u. question? when they were planning their nuptials, if at all, how much of an input was asked of u? xactly. why would u bend over backwards to be hurt on what is supposed to be ur most perfect of days? yes there are going to be mishaps. yes, there are going to be hiccups but if u can avoid them at all possible then do so. why make more stree with a certain volcano looming in the wings? and at ur wedding what do u need? a clergy, a room and 2 witnesses. any more than that is tooooo many....
good luck
2007-02-12 20:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by ray g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Pink, I think you need to swallow your pride especially for your fiance's sake, if you love this man you should have never told them they were out in the first place. Some people just are like these gals, but remember, you can pick your seat, you can pick your nose, but unfortunately we can't pick our families. You were very wrong and now you need to admit it. Good luck I hope things work out for you.
2007-02-12 16:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋