elderly parents?

Question

just watch panarama about care homes it made me feel sick that somebody could treat another human being like dirt.question is would you send your parents to a home before doing some deep digging about the home first

Answer 1

I watched it too and was so upset and disgusted with the way they treated the elderly, the sores and the abuse they recieved how can anyone live with themselves knowing they had done this. I dont think I could ever no matter how much digging put my mum into a home, I have already lost my dad at just 42 yrs of age and my mum is like my best friend I know all homes are not the same as the ones shown on tv but I could never put her through that. I know for some people there isnt really any other option as they need their parents to be cared for whilst they work and so on and these homes are a necessity. I have worked in care homes and thankfully never once did I see an elderly person treated in such an abusive manner the though of it just breaks my heart

Answer 2

It seems that privately funded care homes are the worst. If the government is funding them, in Canada anyway, the ALL aren't bad. I'm a nurse who has worked at many "homes". Of course, dig very deep when researching a home for an elderly parent but, do not forget to research the STAFF that will be caring for your parent on a regular basis. You can request that specific caregivers that are employed by a home NOT to care for your parent if you wish. The public are not properly informed as to your rights when it comes to the care of themselves or family members.
Anyone can enter a nursing school. There are no background checks done on them and, as long as they graduate, no background checks are done (in a lot of places) on the graduate. Sad isn't it? I've worked with some horrific nurses who give the good nurses and good care homes a very bad name. I was taught by wonderful professors, plus my own mom was a nurse. She told me to treat each and every patient as if they were my own family. It was a good lesson, and I will remember that always.
Very good statement!

Just to add to other peoples comments. - some kids have NO choice when it comes to placing their parents. Some have very busy careers in cities away from their parents. We should not judge them. The patients I have had the pleasure to work with have had incredible families. In some cases, their Mom or Dad has been sticken with a disease that makes it impossible for them to remain living with them. I've also had some cases where the kids put their parents in a home and never come to visit them. I used to judge those people harshly BUT when Dad doesn't even know his eldest son anymore, or who his wife is...it gets very hard on the family. So, again, please don't judge too harshly.

Answer 3

The only way I would send a parent to a home is if I had no choice, but before I would do that. I would research everything about the place. I would rather have a home nurse for a parent then again I would have a background check on the person and research the company they were with.

Answer 4

I would definately do my research first. It is disgusting the way some elderly people are treated in homes. I am a parent to two young children and I would not and have not sent them to a daycare facility or school with out checking them out thoroughly first, so why should it be any different when the time comes to consider the best care for an elderly parent?

Answer 5

There are some good ones and some bad ones. When my dad had gout so bad he couldn't stay home anymore, he insisted on NOT living with me and living in a home. Once he decided he couldn't stay home anymore, the decision was easier. The local small town nursing home was AWFUL. I had to be down there daily raising cain about what was going on or lack thereof.
You have to have the responsibility of being there every day. Just like if they were living in their own home or in your home. It is hard to know who will be working with them because staff changes ALL THE TIME.
We finally found a good nursing home, through many contacts and searching. THEN we had to convince him he needed to move. He wanted to stay there even though the other one was better, and FREE because the VA would pay for it. THe first one wasn't.. he was paying CASH omg omg omg, 3000 A MONTH, for bare minimum care. One thing I learned, if they can't get a VA contract, they ain't worth ****.
I can tell you... it is real easy for you all to sit here and say, I will never put my parents in a home. Well, sometimes you can't handle them in your home. How can you do all the care they need? It isn't as easy as just hanging out with Mom all the time. Who is going to support you? Pay your bills? You can't go to work and worry about if Mama will start a fire and burn down your house before you get back.

Answer 6

From experience: Big town elder care is a NO NO! They don't care and will only show the care during the end of the month when it is time for the payment. Try small town, though it may seems too far from you, they usually care more on the people than the money.
As for the elder? Though you think loveones will do a better job? They don't. Elder will be happier when they find other in the same situation and enjoys other elders. Loveones can not care for their elder because they have their own busy schedule and really can not tend to all the care of the elder.

Answer 7

I never put my parents into a home. I wouldn`t have trusted anyone to look after them. It was hard sometimes but I`m glad
especially after what I saw on panarama.

Answer 8

Yes, it is very shocking. My mother is just on 91 and lives with my sister but if she become unable to look after her then i would have to be entirely satisfied that a home was doing their job properly. It would have to be somewhere where family could drop in without notice, and where they had nothing to hide. With such an ageing population i fear things will get worse. It's up to all of us to maintain high standards if these places touch our lives.

Answer 9

I was faced with that situation last year with my Dad. The hospital transferred him to a nursing home in his small hometown. We did no investigation first but had many many talks with the administration concerning his care and lack of care.
He had to stay 6 months but is living with my sister.

Answer 10

no i could never send my parents into a home they looked after me for years and when the time comes i will do the same for them