How do I handle this?

Question

My husband's mother came to visit, and to make a long story short, she's not the best mother on the planet. She wanted to take the baby out of his carseat on the freeway because he was crying (thought the seat was unnecessary), she was mad becuase I wouldn't let her give him beans (he just turned 6 months old) & she said that I was way too overprotective and spoiling him (much more happened over a period of 3 days). The final straw came when she was insisting that I picked him up & cuddled him too much. I tried to be diplomatic and said that everyone raises their babies differently, and that he was happy & healthy & I'll pick him up whenever I want to. She physically blocked the doorway to his room and insisted I let him cry. I asked once for her to move and she wouldn't, so I pushed her out of the way. Now she's telling everyone I'm agressive and have issues and that I attacked her. What do I do? BTW, this is was 1st time she's seen the baby since he was born.

Answer 1

Beat the living Sh*t out of her, tell her not to come back and tell your husband that if she wants to show her as* that she will not be permitted around you or your child again. Then send her a lovely card saying thanks for everything.

Answer 2

WOW this woman sounds like a B***H!!!! Okay first of all you carried that baby for 9 months.. not her .. tell her that, tell her that you appreciate her input but you want to try things your way! Its against the law to have a baby out of the car seat while driving.. ask her if she remebers the **** they gave to spears when she was caught with her baby out of the car seat!! and beans??? tell her that if she thinks beans are so damn tasty then tell her to eat them, that your not putting that into your little ones system just yet!! and there is no such thing as cuddling and loving your child to much!! Is she nuts?? she sounds like she wasnt held enough when she was a baby ha ha.. next time that happens tell her that sorry being a good mom bothers her and to go in the other room if she cant deal with it... And finally if that woman ever tries to prevent you from going into a room to see what is wrong with your crying baby... push her harder.. i would have too!!! MawMaws think they know EVERYTHING about raising babies because they have done it... and a new mon needs to experience things on her own and thats what Grandmas need to learn!! talk to your husband.. tell him what happened and asks what he thinks.. Let him know that you dont want to expose your baby to her ways..

Answer 3

Wow you have a tough mother-in-law. I know exactly what your going through. Your lucky she only visits and doesn't actually live with you both. How is your husband reacting to this? Its really important for you to get along with his mother. If there is a rift between you and his mother, it will cause him unhappiness 'cuz then he'll feel as though he's picking between the two of you. Believe me I've had to bite my tongue and swallow my pride a lot of times and so have my friends. I don't think your too overprotective of your child. He's only 6 months old and already he's sleeping in another room. He doesn't seem to be sleeping with you and your husband.

You shouldn't have pushed your mother-in-law, I know you had the last straw and boy can mother-in-laws get on your nerves. But another way to have handled it since your mother was being so adamant about not letting you into the room, would have been to backed down for a moment, distracted your mother-in-law with something to do in the kitchen or the tv and then gone up and checked up on the baby, while she was away. I know its sneaky but that's how you have to be around mothers and mother-in-laws, you have to do what you have to do but you'll have to tip toe when they are around.

Apolegize to your mother-in-law for pushing her. I know you don't want to do this. But don't do it for yourself, do it for your husband and your marriage. Tell her you were completely wrong and that you'll take what she says more seriously next time. I know this will be tough to do and if it was anyone else I'd just be like "forget them" but if you want a good marriage these are some of the sacrifices you have to make.

Don't worry about her telling other people, in a couple of years everyone will forget all about it or won't make a big deal about it. Especially when you and husband come to visit your mother-in-law with the kids and you make it obvious that you two (your mother-in-law and you) are getting along just fine.

Good Luck. I'll pray for you.

With Love and Prayers, Smitha

Answer 4

Being a mother of three boys myself i would tell her to stay the f*ck out of your house and not let her back unless she is going by your rules. Make sure your husband knows what has happened tell him to also have a talk with her alone about her actions and make sure they do not happen again. DO not be alone with her in your house always make sure your hubby is home and around so he can back you up if need be... You have done nothing wrong sounds like she has a few mental problems!! Be careful!!

Answer 5

Know your role and stick to it!!!

You are your childs mother! You are not around to please your MIL

If my MIL tried to tell me what I was doing wrong I would take constructive criticism but that is not the case here...You were being attacked in you home.

If I were you I would tell your hubby what happened and insist that he tell your MIL that she will be welcome in your house only after she appologizes and recognizes that you are the mother and your rules go. If she will not appologize and respect your rules in the future you need have no unsupervised visits. Do not let someone push you around when it comes to raising your child. If you have your babys best in heart you will do wonderfully!!!

Good luck and tell your hubby to be prepared sounds like she may get nasty but it must be done.

Answer 6

I've dealt with a mother-in-law just like this. She thinks she knows everything and that I have no idea what I'm doing. I'd suggest that you talk about it with your husband and the two of you together sit down with her and explain your feelings. It's probably better to have him involved. She has to learn that she can not manipulate you or treat you like that. After my mother in law doing that to me about 3 times, I refused to let her see my child until she apologized and quit trying to run over me. You will have to stand up for yourself and let her know that you will not take that. Hopefully, things will improve

Answer 7

I would have been angry too, there is no reason a child should come out of a carseat until the car is completly stopped and parked for the safety of the childs life, and I think she took things out of bounds she should not be telling you how to raise your child, every parent is different its your choice how you decide to handle your childs needs.

Answer 8

Oh boy, I feel sorry for you. Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. Then don't invite her back again for a very long time. I hope she lives far away. Make sure your husband talks to her about her behavior and that he tells her he backs you up 100%.

Answer 9

omg.. you poor woman. You MUST enlist the help of your husband, he needs to back you up. Aside from the fact that I agree with your parenting style in the first place, NOBODY should get between ANY mother and their baby.
That's just asking for a mauling.. ask any mama Bear

Answer 10

mother in laws can be so out of order take it from someone that knows mine thinks i have a big gob and should learn to keep it shut but the way i see it my husband supports and backs me up 100 percent so who needs inlaws, Just ignore her she only being vindicitous think thats how u spell it.