OK my good friend is getting married soon, the wedding is taking place a few states away, just going there is going to cost my husband and i about $300 not to mention 2 days of work he is going to miss or there gift, i just got invited to a last minute bachelorette party which is going to cost $275 (a person) were they are going bar hoping, my husband and i are trying to get pregnant and i'm not even drinking caffeine let alone alcohol. I really don't have the money to go and i have tried to suggest alternatives to the costly plan, but all the other girls are stuck on this. I feel horrible and the other girls keep giving me guilt trips over it because me not going makes it more expensive for them, what should i do?
2007-02-12 07:56:54 · 13 answers · asked by Kini 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's really simple ... tell them that you are NOT GOING because you are 'concentrating on staying healthy' while you 'try to get pregnant' ... and if that means that their 'getting drunk' costs them more, so be it. You were 'invited' not 'ordered' to go, right? If I were you, I'd simply 'stay home with my husband' and be glad that everything is 'too far away and too expensive' ... because these don't seem like the kind of 'friends' you really want to have after you have your baby ...
2007-02-12 08:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by Kris L 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could pay the money for the bachelorette party and just not drink. Or, you could just tell them that you can't go because it's too expensive for you, and because you can't drink. Let them moan and complain...they shouldn't have planned a party that would be so expensive.
As for the wedding, you're pretty much stuck with those costs and travel arrangements, unless you decide not to attend. But I gather that it's the bachelorette party on top of the wedding that is the problem, not the wedding itself, right?
2007-02-12 08:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let the other girls get you. Only you and your fiance know what your financial situation is. If the bachelorette party is not a surprise party, I would contact your friend and let her know that unfortunately you will not be able to attend, but you are looking forward to being there for her wedding day. It's up to the host of the bachelorette party to figure out a more cost effective plan since you will not be able to go. You've done all you can do to make it work.
2007-02-12 08:03:48 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah seriously, their lavish taste is not your problem. It sounds like they have a very expensive evening planned out and you not going is a real "inconvenience".... for them. If they don't want to listen to other suggestions you have that may be more cost effective then they can just shove it. Explain to them you are not really interested in going but if you and the bride are really good friends then stop by one of the bars they go to on your own, have a lemonade or whatever and then leave. Don't let their champagne taste affect your beer budget.
2007-02-12 08:57:06 · answer #4 · answered by Me, again 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send them each $5 or $10 and tell them to have a drink on you.....along with a note that explains to them why it is just totally unrealistic and impractical for you to either be able to or even expected to do both. Are any of these other girls married??? Coming from states away???? If so then at least "they" should understand, and if not, then don't worry as to whether or not they get it.
Just do what you feel best in doing. As long as you're there for the
"big day", that's all that really matters.
2007-02-12 08:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't do anything you don't want to do. Can't afford the expensive party, don't go. Go to the weding and have a good time. Give them a small gift from their registry.
PS-New studies show small amounts of caffeine have no effect on an unborn baby. And as to fetal alcohol syndrom, that only comes in after your pregnant. So party and have lots of sex!
2007-02-12 08:02:05 · answer #6 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How is bar hopping costing $275/person? That does not sound right at all. If you don't think you can afford to go, you shouldn't. Write a nice card explaining why it is inconvenient... if they don't understand, then they are not good friends, anyway.
2007-02-12 08:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by Questionasker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they're going to trip out over it that is their problem. As friends, they should realize that not everyone is in the same financial situation as them. Don't let them get to you. If you can't afford it, don't go (first priority is you and your husband). Sending her a gift is a great way of letting her know you care even if you can't attend
2007-02-12 08:01:20 · answer #8 · answered by happily married ( : 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They are being selfish. Discuss the "getting pregnant" with your friend and just let her know you would love to go, but becoming a mother is more important. Let her know that you guys will be attending the wedding.
2007-02-12 08:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT your responsibility to make THEIR trip less expensive. I think you'd be crazy to go. AND I also think they are rude for trying to rope you into it. Be firm! Say NO! Tell them you and your husband discussed it and you have decided it's not a good idea.
2007-02-12 08:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by bibliophile31 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋