Well the current boyfriend I have has been the BEST. And hes also [what I consider] my first REAL boyfriend. He tells me all the time that he loves me, and he just is SUCH a sweetie. BUT it scares me sometimes.. because when we talk about our future, he tells me that its up to me to keep this relationship interesting.. I mean, it sounds like he loves me.. and even the way he looks at me you can see it. But just some things he says are a little scary. And it also seems like he is getting kind of demanding and controlling. Like just little things he makes me do for him. Like get something for him because hes too lazy, or tell me what to do when I know what I want to do without his help. I mean he is such a supportive boyfriend, and he helps me through thick and thin, but its just soo frustrating when I can't understand what to do. What can I do to make him ALWAYS be interested in me? [ He likes respect and humor and sexiness] Any suggestions.. PLEASE help? =]
2007-02-12 07:10:26 · 21 answers · asked by ♥DANyELLE. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi there...
As he's your first real experience it's very natural to have all these doubt and questions. You will only learn in time and dating a few ppl how to handle each situation.
Every person will have some negative and positive sides to their personality. You should always weigh and see which one takes over. In your case, if the positive ranks higher, then focus on the good parts.
I'm not telling you to be a door mat and have him walk all over you, but relationships are all about compromising. Sometimes you put up (practically ignore) some of the things your partner does that annoys you because he is so great in many other aspects.
One thing that I too have noticed that men do, is that they think they know more or at least better than women do. So it's natural that your bf comes and tell you how to do things even when you already know what you're doing. Mine does it too, I usually just listen but do what I need to do at the end. Although, I must add that there has been times that I did not listen to him and the end result wasn't to my liking.
As for controlling you, that's nit right. It somes from either him feeling powerful over you or he has some trust and security issues with the relationship, which is still not right. You as a girl should never allow a guy to control you. I'm telling you this as someone who's been through the experience and the result was very ugly. If you're a smart girl you'll treat him ver nicely but will never allow him to feel he has control over your life. This is very IMPORTANT for you to do inorder to have a healthy relationship.
A lot of times it is up to us women to keep the relationship exciting. Not always but in majority of times, we are the more creative and romantic force of the relationship. A lot of women make this mistake of letting themselves go after they become comfie in a relationship. You are on the right path If you keep up with respect, humor, and sexiness. That's mainly what men look for... always leave a little mistery behind, make want to explore you more and more as the times goes by. Meaning, don't just be there for him every time he wants you to be... make him work hard on keeping you around... when guys put time and effort into anything they respect it more and try harder in keeping it as well. Where as if you're an open book that has the same story over and over again he'll get bored after reading it a few times.... keeping him on his toes is the mistery and excitement that'll keep him interested and want more...
does this make sense? hope it helped.
2007-02-12 07:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the love you feel for him is it true that he knows now that you have done the most you can for his well being that it may be so different that it maybe hard for him to understand that what you did for him may scare him just the same.if the support is there reassure your feelings for him if you love him enough. if getting things for him is a problem for him than he will have to deal with it. if the demands are great and controlling is an issue talk to each other the little things can be worked out if thing are understanding between you both after a talk his frustration will be understood. to make him interested tell him what you want from him to do for him. the boyfriend will need the 3 things you love about him talk to him back to back. face to face you will trust each people one by one.
2007-02-12 07:45:49 · answer #2 · answered by reva a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a suggestion....have some backbone. I'm sorry you're the one that has pushed me to the limit....BUT...I'm sick of girls who get on here and say that their man is sooooo great and like, the best and stuff....but the whole time he is degrading you and talking down to you and just disrespecting you. Hell, if you know what he's doing is wrong, why not do something about it? Stop mewing and feeling bad, but at the same time feeling good because you might want this man to control you....there's a saying I once heard, those who don't, wont....if you DON'T like it, you WONT be with him anymore....the way I feel, if you don't like it and you're soooo frustrated...then LEAVE! If not, please don't waste your time typing a nine page thesis on why you are having boyfriend problem, cuz if you'd just stand up for yourself, you wouldn't be in this situation, would you?
2007-02-12 07:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off im happy that you have a guy thts careing and sweet, guys like that it seems are hard to come by anymore. as for the controlingness and all that stuff hes a guy hes going to ask you to get stuff for him couse hes lazy lol i do it all the time with my GF shes sweet and sometimes gets it for me and she tells me to get her stuff whn im in the kitchen so yeah hes a guy i wouldnt us it as hes being controling and hes still with you sou hes interested in you but a haircut is a good way to change the way u look or even a new outfit if u really wanna change how u look.
if u need guy advise im always on yahoo or msn u can add me to ur messanger babi_boi1990@yahoo.com grimereaper01@hotmail.com
2007-02-12 07:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by Deshawn M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for you to do is to communicate your feelings with him. You must be strong and assertive. It's up to you to keep this relationship going? That's a bunch of crap. There are two in this relationship and if all he's going to do is give you orders and tell you what to do then it's not a relationship. You need to be strong in this and let him know what's what. Don't allow anybody to control you because your life as you know it will be over. You deserve so much better than that. I know you love him but do you love him enough to be a doormat?
2007-02-12 07:16:44 · answer #5 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It takes two people to keep a relationship interesting. Not one. He may just be getting a bit controlling and you should keep an eye out for signs of it getting worse. People who are controlling and demanding only start to show this once they know they have you.
2007-02-12 07:14:50 · answer #6 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should NEVER have to work at keeping him interested in you. Never start that crap with a guy, no matter how crazy you are over him or how good he is. You treat a guy like that really well and he'll eventually walk all over you. Don't be afraid to say "Get up and get it yourself" when you think he is demanding too much or disrespecting you.
Your chances of keeping him are MUCH better if you don't cater to him than if you do. Trust me.
2007-02-12 07:22:22 · answer #7 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa.......Is it just me or did anyone else see the big red flag shoot up here? He told you that it is up to YOU to keep this relationship interesting? This is a guy who is already setting you up to take the blame if there are any problems. I've met some people just like this. to all outside appearances, they are the nicest people, but they will never, ever share any resposibility when things go wrong. You seriously might want to step back a little and take a closer look here.
2007-02-12 07:17:54 · answer #8 · answered by K B 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well if it's getting "scary" then do something about it! if he say's it's up to you to keep the relationship going you have to wonder. so just ask him "do you truly think we will be together for a long time?" and " this is OUR relationship not just mine." "if you love me then act like you do!" if you are questoning then ask your self. do you think he's mr. right? and with little things take it in stride and try to pick up on little things more. if you want to be together forever you have to look at how he acts and what he does. cuz this will tell you how he is going to be later on. so ,y advice to you is to see how YOU feel. and if he's being a jerk don't hide away and acted scared do something about it! talk to him once in a while to see how he feels. do this for yourself.
2007-02-12 07:20:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have got been making plans to have this dinner in combination for two months after which plans are converted proper on the final minute I could be mad too. Can you cross over to satisfy the loved ones after or earlier than dinner?
2016-09-05 08:00:06 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋