I was dating a guy for some time and I treated him like he was king. I washed his clothes, made sure he had beer in the fridge when he got off work, I gave him foot massages, dinner was always ready for him, I gave him money when he check was short and i made love to him when ever he wanted to; and yet he still cheated on me. Are there no good men left?
2007-02-12 06:20:26 · 12 answers · asked by Tammi R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
***************BEST ANSWER HERE*********************
For all the ladies....................this is straight from the man's perspective.
There are good men out here that women do the exact same thing to, so there is a flip side to that.
In your case, what happened is that you performed A+ with little return on your investment. What should have been invested in (more), is checking his value system (his priorities). Obviously, from the sounds of it, you were giving and giving, yet receiving so little in return. You are not to blame when you've done your part.
What I'm suggesting is before investing THAT much effort, check out his morals.
Is he even worth it? What are his top 5 values? Who are the top 5 people he admires?
From there you can gain perspective if he respects women, his faith, how dependable he is/responsible, etc... You can gain all these insights, THEN make the decision if he's worth the jewels you have to offer. Obviously, he didn't respect you or the relationship - is why he cheated.
Don't blame yourself, it's a life experience.
Remember, women go through life disqualifying men (who could have substance) for superficial reasons. So, it's not all bad, just be more selective..
One love...
2007-02-12 06:41:32 · answer #1 · answered by HottNikkels 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're a good girlfriend. Don't take that the wrong way, take this as constructive criticism.
Being a good companion, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend (whatever you want to call it) isn't subject to constantly tending to your other's needs or wants. It is about reciprocating emotions and beneficial communication.
Human beings, regardless of who they are, what kind of character they have or other natural factors, get bored of routines rather quickly. You managed to transform something that ought to be a privilege for your partner into something rudimentary, something "every-day" and un-unique. Be weary of this in future relationships. As Aristotle might put it, find the mean between excess and insufficiency and you'll find balance.
Your partner ultimately 'cheated' (though he probably didn't think of it as an emotional betrayal; he probably still loves you) because he needed something new - un-routine - and he could only find it somewhere outside of the relationship.
Moreover, there are good men in the world. Young women just tend to mistake arrogance with confidence, compliments as "being nice" and cleverness with intelligence. It isn't uncommon. Part of the problem is that we tend to live in a society that thinks interacting with someone for a month is long enough to "know them" sufficiently in order to become emotionally attached.
Try to find a man you think has substance, feel him out in your interactions. Get to know "him" and not his public persona and take any possible relationship that might come both slowly and with a grain of salt. If a relationship does occur, don't treat him like a King. Even Kings cheated on their Queens. Instead, treat him like he has worth as a human being. There is a difference.
Think on it.
2007-02-12 06:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by David M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you know what they say.... What goes around comes around. This is bad news for your ingrate cheater ex-boyfriend, but excellent news for you! Believe me, there are actually guys going through the same thing as you. He treats her like a princess and she cheats. You just need to remember how special you are. If he can't see that, appreciate how giving you are, and want to reciprocate...NEXT! And honey, don't stress...HE IS OUT THERE!!!!
2007-02-12 06:38:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lara S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are ignorant!!! "they don't know what they have until they lose it"...Sorry to say this but it's true...i mean how many times have men cheated and said they're sorry that they love you and won't do it anymore but in many cases it's too late cuz the woman will leave him....men are always like that they can't avoid temptation...what can we do their men!....but there are a few good men out there they're just hard to find them...keep looking and you'll find that special someone!!!
2007-02-12 06:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by Mari_18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. you sure did everything for him didnt you? What did he do for you? Did he treat you the same? Well I guess he didnt if he was cheating.
There are good guys left out there, dont give up but as for the reason why they cheat... because they are ***holes.
2007-02-12 06:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by Christie G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are still good men out there u just have to find them. He might be taking you for granted. Confront him and set him straight. There is a guy out there who will do all those things for you in return and not cheat. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-02-12 06:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by Bina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a girl and I agree with you. A woman like that doesn't deserve a man like that. Seriously, that pisses me off when it happens.
2016-05-24 01:27:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going through the same thing to i have always want to know that also i deal with a breakup and he cheat on me plus have a baby with another girl i just had a miscarriage
2007-02-12 06:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you're young, you can't think straight when so many gorgeous women are all around. There are good men, but it takes patience to find them.
2007-02-12 06:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by Reo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that. tha'ts the wrong man for you. a good one will treat you the same back. good luck finding someone who appreciates you!
2007-02-12 06:23:42 · answer #10 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋