I'm having serious suspicion issues with my girl...
Basically, we had a long talk about the relationship last night. After 8 years, she wanted to take a break, I told her no, we're together or we're not. I told her if we break up, it'll be the last time, and we're over for good. I re-assured her I loved and everything was fine from there.
Main thing she said was, "I don't even know whats going on with this relationship anymore.." But a week ago, we both agreed to continue the relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend, and suddenly she doesn't know whats going on??? I kept asking her, "so, are we together?" and she said, "are we?" and i said, "If you want to be" and she said, "ok... sure" Just seems weird to me. Normally she says yes, straight out.
Whats going on??
2007-02-12 06:13:17 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
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So a week ago she agrees that you guys are solid. Then this week she says "lets take a break." That is a veiled threat to breakup, but probably not the root of the problem.
The man really needs listen to these signals, which are exactly what they are. You tossed out a lifeline, saying "so, are we together? " which left the decision up to her, and she tossed it back, and said "are we" and you said, "if you want to be" and she said , "ok, sure."
But, this is not your own woman wants. A man's woman wants him to be a STAND UP guy and TAKE CHARGE, regardless of what they may say or how they act. After eight years, hopefully of great friendship (and sex ?) she trusts you, loves you and wants to know what the next step is going to be.
So, how to figure out. Either she wants out, but is comfortable with you for now, anyway, or she wants you and is waiting for you to ask her to marry you, (and "wanting to take a break " and "ok, sure" were bluffs (which I believe to be the case)).
Women do NOT ever speak their minds honestly, which I think you know by now, they don't think that way, and they believe that it is their perogative of being a woman. If you want a straight answer from your woman, you should marry a man.
So for advice. After 8 years of waiting, I can't blame her for the bluff. I think she's looking for settling down. Ask her if that is what she has been thinking about, and that you have been seriously thinking about it. Now, watch for the reaction. Tears, giddiness, joy, smiles, happiness (which by this time you should know her well enough) will tell you what I have said. It would be a good time now to step up and make your 8 year g/f an honest woman !!! CRIMINY!
If it's diabolical laughter, fake shock, "no-no-no", or "I haven't thought about it" or "I have to think about it" your relationship is doomed and has been for some time now. She is way too tepid on you but doesn't want to hurt you on the way out. Buh-bye.
2007-02-12 06:47:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a woman! If after 8 years, that's the best she can answer with, I'd say it's time to move on. Of course, if you haven't talked about marriage, or haven't actually proposed after that long, there is obviously something wrong to begin with -- unless you've been dating since you were 8 years old or something...
2007-02-12 06:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you love her? can you se yourself getting married to her? after eight years you should see something. Maybe she is waiting for you to make the next move. Maybe you should propose. Then again she might be interested in other guys and if your relationship isnt "going anywhere" than you need to do something worth her wild. Take her on a vacation, or discuss marrage with her. Get her views and opinions on things. Good luck!
2007-02-12 06:20:04 · answer #3 · answered by STEFF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been together for a long time.. have you thought about getting married. Maybe thats what she is looking for..the next step.
2007-02-12 06:17:21 · answer #4 · answered by Christie G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 YEARS seriously how old are you???
she just provably wanted to married and have kids but your taking to long that she provably thinks she'll find what she wants somewhere else.... seriously 8 YEARS
2007-02-12 06:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she doesnt want to be with you but doesnt want to hurt you or she doesnt want to like like the bad person so she is hoping you'll just dump her that way she wont look bad. I would confront her on this and tell her exactly how you feel.
2007-02-12 06:17:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like she's getting ready to move on, but feels guilty which would be why she keeps bringing it up.
talk to her about why she feels like she 'doesn't knwo what's going on' and see if it's something you can fix together. it coudl be that your relationship has run it's course- in which case, move on.
2007-02-12 06:17:19 · answer #7 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She wants you to propose
2007-02-12 07:04:18 · answer #8 · answered by steemshovel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she wants that break but u put fear in her and now she is afraid to admit she still wants it.
2007-02-12 06:18:30 · answer #9 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give her time. love is not a switch.
2007-02-12 06:17:02 · answer #10 · answered by miss mary quite contrary 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋