For "Christians" and gays. What do you have to say about this?

Question

Read the following.....

BUSH JOKE...HILARIOUS......READ AND YOU'LL SEE......
Dear President Bush,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanc

sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in m

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging

Answer 1

dude, this is f@cking hilarious! go to my 360 page and email it to me.

Answer 2

Why would a person be interested in trying to live in accordance with a Hebrew covenant established under the direct theocratic rule of God after Jesus Christ has indicated that this law was done away ?

Someone is really confused about the Bible. Unless you are a Hebrew trapped in a time warp, there is no reason nor authorization from God anywhere in the Bible to try and live by a civil law that was only in effect during that specific time.

Don't you know that the ceremonial law and theocratic civil laws were abolished at the cross ?

The dietary laws of the Old Testament are for the benefit of everyone and still apply. Feeding on shrimp or any other scavenger that eats garbage is not conducive to health. Neither is eating blood with flesh as is done when eating meat.

Whatever your aim, it is not good to misrepresent the character of God or the Bible.

A text without context is a pretext to reject text.

Wrong motives for reading the Bible = wrong understanding or misunderstanding of the Bible

Right motives for reading the Bible = right understanding of the Bible

Show N Tell

Answer 3

Heh, I've seen this before as the Dr. Laura letter, as some pointed out.

Nonetheless, it does highlight the laughable superstitions upon which Christians base many of their views.

Most of the acts and sayings attributed to Jesus by the gospels have been shown to lack basis in fact, and quite a few of them can be traced to either OT prophecies or myths from other religions existing at the time.

The instances of Jesus "fulfilling prophecy" are largely the result of the gospel writers conforming the story to fit the prophecy, in some cases resorting to outright fabrication.

For instance, the story of Jesus' trial by the Sanhedrin and the Garden of Gethsemane...Jesus was supposedly tried by the Sanhedrin at the high priest's home on the evening that Passover began and condemned him to death immediately after meeting. But Jewish law strictly forbade any activity on Passover or the Sabbath. Moreover, the rules governing the Sanhedrin's meetings specified that they only met in the Temple Chamber, did not meet at night, and required a period of 24 hours before handing down any punishment.

It is simply inconceivable that the Sanhedrin, known as the Jews most concerned with compliance with Jewish law, would break their own rules and even more importantly, Mosaic law, especially during an important Jewish religious celebration.

Jesus and the 3 apostles going to the Garden to pray after the Passover meal is also incredible. For one thing, Jews were not supposed to leave the house after Passover meal. Even assuming they chose to break this Mosaic law, supposedly upon entering the Garden Jesus walked a distance away from the apostles to pray, and they fell asleep.

So if Jesus walked away from the apostles and they fell asleep, who was awake to hear what he prayed and record it? Clearly then, the gospel's portrayal of events in the Garden is a dramatization, if not an outright fabrication.

The story of Jesus' trial is therefore pretty much a concoction of the later synoptic gospel writers, probably for dramatic effect and to fit OT "lamb" prophecies.

Answer 4

"Gods word is eternal and unchanging". Hmmmm

Christians tell me the Bible is the ‘absolutely true’. Well it hard to believe a book can be so in light of the following:
1What we now call the bible was cobbled together by many people—actually committees--well after Christ and the apostles died.
2)The completed bible underwent many translations from Greek to Latin to the modern languages of the world. Much was changed in the translation. (Read: ”Who Changed the Bible and Why”)
3)There are many version of the bible that exists today. Such as the Vulgate of St. Jerome; the Roman Catholic—Douay; Coptic, etc.
4)There are many individual interpretations of any one version of the bibles that exist today. Especially among Protestants.

If god wanted to give us ‘his word’, why did he make it so confusing?

Answer 5

i love the part about eating shellfish being an abomination.

i don't think i'm going out on a limb here when i say that eithe the bible is nonsense or something was lost in the translation.

after all the bible is written by men, who were very likely suffereing from lead poisoning, in a language that has not been actively spoken for centuries which was not even attempted to be documented until hundreds of years after the death of jesus.

if i was a bible dude, i'd be asking for a re-translation.

the bible as we read it today might be like the cherry picked pre-war intelligence that the bush admin doctored before the iraq war...

Answer 6

Hey, there. I am a Christian, but I like to say a "moderate" Christian. I got your point. Jews were very strict in all this, but Christianity actually frees us from all those word by word hard orders.

Answer 7

Nice job of cut and copy, bucko. That was sent to me via e-mail a long time ago. Stop pretending you wrote it.

Answer 8

I love this. I've read it before. Though this letter is actually one written to Dr Laura and reauthored to apply to Bush. It makes great points that Christians love to ignore.

Answer 9

Thats real clever, but theres just one problem:
You don't know the difference between laws, statutes and ordinances (blood and others).
The laws of God have not changed. The blood ordinances have been done away with since Jesus became our blood sacrifice for one and all times. The statutes that you speak of, naturally change as time goes by, and as society changes. Thats just common sense.

I want to own a canadian, too.

PS. TO MISS MOMMA: DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING THAT YOU ARE ONLY TO READ, LIVE AND UNDERSTAND THE NEW TESTAMENT. BOTH OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS OF GODS WORD ARE TO BE READ, UNDERSTOOD, AND LIVED BY. YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL, BECAUSE THE PROPHETS OF THE OLD TESTAMENT GIVE US SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION YOU NEED AS A CHRISTIAN IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND THE NEW TESTAMENT.

Answer 10

If only self-styled Christians would bother to read the bible....

Answer 11

Seen it before but still get a kick out of it