We dated for 6 months and I broke up with him 2 weeks ago. He's the greatest guy, but allot older than me, and he doesn't want a serious relationship. We went into the relationship not wanting it to be serious, (just for sex) but along the way I started falling for him. I realilized a month ago that it I cared about him, so I broke up with him. We are still friends and have had sex a few times since we split. Is it ok to still be using eachother like this?
2007-02-12 04:08:06 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's up to you, but in the end you are the one who is going to be hurt. He is only using you. If you think by having sex is going to change his feelings for you he won't. He is getting what he wants and that is sex.
2007-02-12 04:13:12 · answer #1 · answered by devilgal031948 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've done the same thing, it works out until one or the other of you find someone new, that's where the trouble starts. What if you see your "friend w/benefits" with another woman? You can't say you won't be hurt a little because you will, hopefully not to much but you did say you were falling for him before. Jealousy is a bad thing in a relationship, trust is what counts. You have to ask yourself if you're just doing it for the physical aspect, we all feel better with regular sex, or is because of the emotional side of you, hoping that one day he'll come to his senses and commit? I like the way you ended your question, "using each other" because that's what you are doing, hopefully you can do it and still walk away with some dignity at the end. It's a tough life sometimes and physical touching makes things better at the time but in the long run, a few years later, you might be asking yourself "what was I thinking?" Have a heart to heart with him, tell him your concerns, be honest, go from there. Good luck.
2007-02-12 04:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by kisinabrit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a bad idea, as you have feelings for him, it's o.k. to hook up with a guy if there aren't feelings, because just think about how you will feel when he finds another girlfriend, you'll be crushed I've been throuhg this before and it is very difficult, no matter how much you want to tell yourself that you don't care, in the end the pain will still be there, stop having sex with him, but you don't have to stop talking, maybe you can be just friends, its better for the both of you. Right now he has it right where he wants it, he still gets the sex, without the commitment.
2007-02-12 04:13:41 · answer #3 · answered by bluemoon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To your answer, Yes its ok to use each other like this. Sex can be a powerful force of attraction.
But, It takes at least two people to have a healthy relationship. For that to happen, all parties involved have to be on or close to the same emotional levels for feeling to muture. Thats just me, pointing a stick at the obvious.
2007-02-12 04:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by tsionfire 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it is okay... but beware until you are free of him emotionally and physically you will not be open to finding love with someone else. Ending things with him may be difficult but it will be best for you in the long run if this is not the man you really want to be with. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
2007-02-12 04:16:23 · answer #5 · answered by Leah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think if you can live with him and not having more than sex but if you want more and will be hurt then i would split now instead of investing more time feelings and energy into a dead end relationship know what i mean better to not invest more if going nowhere
2007-02-12 04:13:45 · answer #6 · answered by terri e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You Rae doing what you got into in the first place and decided was not enough. Stop compromising. Have a relationship or move on. No more freebies.
2007-02-12 04:11:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's not very smart. You will not be able to move on unless you stop. Also, how do you know he's not having sex with others and putting you in danger of an STD?
2007-02-12 04:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
and some have a relationship just for love, avoiding sex in any way possible...ah, this life is complicated!It's nothing wrong to still have sex with him, maybe it will be even more interesting now tat you have fallen 4 him!
2007-02-12 04:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by teen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No stop seeing him for sex
you broke up for a reason! Be buddies again or soemthing see if you can work it out, but no more sex for now!
2007-02-12 04:16:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋