want to check out these parental cliches?

Question

Cross your eyes enough and they'll get stuck like that!
(You mean like Uncle Rupert?)

And if everybody jumped off a cliff I suppose you would too.
(With a bungee, dude)

You'll put someone's eye out!
(Cool...pirates!)

No running with the scissors!
(I'll keep it to a mild sprint)

This'll hurt me more than it's going to hurt you...
(Masochist!)

Do you think money grows on trees?
(No, it's a vine)

You're grounded!
(Yeah, me and all the ValuJet pilots)

As long as you live under my roof you live by my rules!
(See ya!)

I'll turn this car around right now!
(Four lanes each way near Myrtle Beach, I don't think so)

Life's not always a bowl of cherries
(No, sometimes it's a boatload)

Finish those peas, there are people starving in India!
(Right, all they have are these lousy peas!)

With friends like that you don't need enemies
(Yeah, but they're a helluva lotta fun)

We just want what's best for you
(Translation: You wish you could've done what I just did)

I don't care what Johnny Smith's mom lets him do - you can't!
(Someday Johnny Smith'll be driving a Bentley)

You've got to make the bed you sleep in
(I'd rather make it in the bed I sleep in)

In my day we knew the meaning of a dollar
(Yeah, that's all you could make in an hour)

It builds character
(It sucks!)

Answer 1

Here are some I caught my wife saying to our children...

"Don't shake the bowl at your brother. He is not a dog."

"Stop meowing... your dad is allergic to cats."

One of my dad's classics...

"It will put hair on you chest. Make a man out of ya." - Hard to understand at 5 years old.

Answer 2

No, but when I wrote a Dystopian novel once the beginning was similar to those described. It was the day of this big gathering/celebration thing where the entire village comes together. Other than that one story (which I wrote when I was 14), I haven't used any of these beginnings. The mirror one is probably the I hate the most--it always drives me crazy when I see it in books, even if it's not in the beginning. New Kid--*so* overdone. But I don't really mind the RIP Parents one because, honestly, I forget where I read the advice, but someone said that young adult fiction is very difficult to write with present parental figures. (Not in all cases, obviously). But the parents always step in a prevent the teenage protagonists from furthering the plot, and therefore, it's easier--maybe I shouldn't say easier; but rather, prudent--to find a way to get them out of the picture. It also provides a ghost for the character, and the potential for interesting characterization and back story. After all, all characters would react differently to the same death, so it's interesting to see how a certain character reacts to it--it says a lot about them. Anyway, that was my super long way of saying I don't mind the RIP Parents one, because some times, it's necessary.

Answer 3

Just be sure not to say any of these out loud. Most parents really do just want what's best for their kids so cut your folks some slack by keeping your witticisms to yourself. Otherwise you'll be using the ValuJet line for sure!)

Answer 4

omg thats exactly what goes thru my head.. lmao wow i need a life if all i do is look at stupid stuff but this is probably the best thing ive looked at recently

Answer 5

It was ok... mild humor and it took too long so I got bored.

Answer 6

you used about 100 points today and none of them were worth it.

Answer 7

haha nine_iron's joke was funnier

Answer 8

not bad

Answer 9

true true!!! I tell my kids those all the time!!!!!!
HAHAHA!!!