I'm going to visit her house for a week, & I want everything to go as smoothly & peacefully as possible. We don't get along, but I need to get some of my belongings from there. She always picks arguments with me & falsely accuses me of doing things, & when I try to explain the truth, she says I'm badgering her.
2007-02-12 04:03:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
try to ignore her. when she starts something with you, just tell her you didn't come over to argue. If she still pushes you, say "Aren't you supposed to be the adult? Don't you think you should act like it?" and walk away.
2007-02-12 04:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be as polite as possible and keep in mind that you are there for only a short period of time (that may help you be the better person).
If it were me, I would visit until she started "acting up", then excuse myself, possibly stating "I just wanted to stop by and see you for a little while and pick up a few things - is it possible we could NOT fight for a change?" You might have to ignore a few comments to avoid this, so prepare yourself, and simply state "I didn't come here to argue", "I'm done bickering, it doesn't get us anywhere" or similar comments.
Is there a possibility you could sit her down (if she attempts to get combative) to talk, saying, "Please, just sit, I have something to say, and you can comment and say what you want when I'm through."? Then simply explain how you feel - you are constantly growing as a person and know that you cannot have a normal relationship with her because...(stating reasons) . Make it a point to let her know that she makes it difficult for you to tell her the truth because of how she acts. What good is a relationship if you aren't able to tell the truth? It's not really worth having one if you can't. State that you desperately want to have a "normal" and healthy relationship and want her to work with you to make it so.
If she leaves you no choice, well, that's that...some people don't know when to stop or how NOT to badger others, and I don't think anyone could blame you for defending yourself because you refuse to be a doormat. Just be as mature and civil about the situation as possible. There is also the no response method, with will leave her without a rebuttal, but is usually effective...be prepared to bite our tongue, though.
I wish you the best of luck and hope it goes smoothly, don't be discouraged if it doesn't play out like you want it to, some people will never change. Take it in stride and move on, you shouldn't have to deal with that in the first place.
I really wish I could give you some better answers or suggestions to help.
Take care.
2007-02-12 12:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by polishedamethyst 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok many would not agree with me, but i've found this to work quite well, b/c I had the same situation except it was my foster dad. Just AGREE, yes that's right AGREE. you dont have to mean it. just kinda smile and nod and say yes ok uh huh. your right. I'll get right on that. and walk away. Not only does it get you out of her bitching, but then she gets miffed b/c she cant say or do anything. she's got nothing left to throw at you. And then you have the satisfaction of getting the better of her.
2007-02-12 12:18:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to explain. Just smile and be super sweet. Don't let yourself get sucked into an argument. Say, "You may be right." She could be so shocked she will shut up.
2007-02-12 12:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be patient and dont lose your temper. just calmly collect your things and go. If she starts to pick a fight just tell her you dont feel like argung and if she accuses you of things just let her. dont get mad or anything just let her talk and say what she want. its hard but its the best way to go
2007-02-12 12:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't play her game. Be the bigger person and just smile and agree with what she says, no matter how sick it makes you. Get your stuff as quickly as possible and get out.
2007-02-12 12:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by me! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes two to argue, No matter what she says, don't respond. Eventually she will run out of steam.
2007-02-12 12:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your mouth shut then. It takes two to argue.
2007-02-12 12:07:18 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
learn to shut up. remeber she will stop talking sooner or later, and you will leace soon just listen and do some things that she asks you to do. it helped.
2007-02-12 12:28:21 · answer #9 · answered by mc 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ask here
2007-02-12 12:29:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋