My partner is nearly forty and I am 27. His mum is very possesive of him and has seen off lots of his previous partners. She will come out with things to cause arguments and tries to make things very difficult like saying I am a bad cook compared to her as he looks undernourished?? and i am no domestic goddess etc. she said to him that she should come first in his heart and not me. He is aware of this and tells her straight but he can do no wrong and then it comes back to me as me causing trouble. Lots of subtle putdowns, how do i handle this best
2007-02-12 03:45:33 · 11 answers · asked by Abigail 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Will I think you should tell her to mind her own business and say that he is with me and I love him. I don't care if you accept me or not I will remain with him b/c I love him. Maybe all the other ones that he dated never stood up to her. Also, tell him to back you up and if he loves you he will do it if not then throw him to the curb. Hope that helped!
2007-02-12 03:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by HatersEnvyMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are one of the tips of this mental triangle. Honey get out while you can and cut your losses. Mommie will always be mommie and he will continue to go back and forth between you and mom.
If partner is showing you that partner vacillates between you and mommie, then you need to show partner that you deserve better and gets to stepping.
You are 27 and partner is 40-Partner is set in his ways and there is nothing you can do to change partner. Read my poem sweetheart and happy Valentines Day:
Now That’s Love
I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene
copyrighted
2007-02-12 11:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once watched a Ophra show called he's just not that in to you. When reading your question this is the feeling I got, if he is going to be the kind of person you really want to be with, then he is going to have to be strong enough to stand up to his mother and tell her to get a life of her own, otherwise It could be a situation he enjoys being in, as you are so busy looking at her, that you are failing to see his weakness in all of this.
You deserve the best, believe it !
2007-02-12 12:01:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump your mama's boy boyfriend. Any man who at 40 is still controlled by his mother, is pathetic and not worth being in a relationship with. There's nothing wrong with loving your mother but the relationship you two have should come first. He should be a man and not a mouse. He should at 40 know how to stand up to his mother by now.
2007-02-12 11:56:18 · answer #4 · answered by ஐƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒஐ Vee ஐƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒஐ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had/have a MIL like that. HE is the one that needs to change her. You have no chance. Untill he stands up for you and puts you 100% before her, it will never end. The game she is playing is emotional incest. I feel bad for your B/F. There is nothing more humiliating in life than to be a grown Man still having his Mother dictating his life, successfuly.
I wish you luck. This will not change.
2007-02-12 11:58:27 · answer #5 · answered by swiss girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard. You have to speak to your partner and make sure he is supportive of YOU only. You might try a few things.
1) Be really nice to her. Kill her with kindness. If she sees how great you are, she might respond similarly.
if that doesn't work...
2) You will have to make sure that both you partner and self stay far away from her. If this relationship is important to your partner, he will realize that his mother's statements and insinuations are subconsciously affecting him.
Good Luck!!!
2007-02-12 11:51:10 · answer #6 · answered by KB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, seems like someone shoudl let go here (but I am not sure who) the man should just tell the mom to butt out and then thats it, I would talk to the mom if I were you and ask her waht in the hell is up, cause your realationship with the guy will go no where with mom rinnding it out lol
2007-02-12 11:50:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something like this happen to me before, what i did was if she want to wash, cook , and bath him..... let it be.... after a time she will get feedup.... but you try to stick close to your man.....let him know you care & love him...... but also let him know that his mom is being pushy and she does not want to let go off him.... he's a grown man now and time she let him live a life with you...
2007-02-12 12:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by *Cutie* 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kill her with kindness. Thats all you can do or ask your bf to have a talk with her about it!
2007-02-12 12:15:30 · answer #9 · answered by Steff 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to win her heart too.
2007-02-12 11:49:21 · answer #10 · answered by ironlady42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋