Is it a good idea to get remarried or back together with your ex? I mean, you got divorced for a reason right? They say its for the kids, but all they do is yell at eachother and fight all the time (even now). Got divorced 4 years ago, kids are really young (one born just before the divorce). Stupid idea right?
2007-02-12 03:44:22 · 17 answers · asked by liebedich85 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No counceling, and he will never go to counceling (its not manly- he's...well...) and they havent worked through the issues, just going to pick up where they left off.
2007-02-12 04:21:34 · update #1
Obviously I am not talking about myself... please actually read the question!
2007-02-12 04:23:09 · update #2
You have probably heard this analogy, but in case you haven't, I'll repeat it. Some people say that getting back together with your ex is like getting up one morning, taking the milk out of the refrigerator, drinking some, saying "it's sour", putting it back in the refrigerator, getting up the next morning, taking it out of the refrigerator, taking a drink and saying "it's still sour".
I am an attorney, and I used to do family law, so several people have asked my opinion on this over the years. Here is my answer. The only time you should remarry an ex-spouse or reconcile with one from whom you have separated is if you have dealt with and resolved the problem for which you separated or divorced.
People have asked me how they know whether a problem is The Problem. My response is that the couple knows. For example, he drinks (or uses drugs) is never The Problem. That's the first layer of The Problem. Once you solve that problem, there's something below it. You shouldn't remarry or reconcile just because he or she has stopped drinking or drugs. Once he or she has stopped drinking or drugs, then you can deal with The Problem.
Don't take the milk out of the refrigerator and think by some miracle it has changed on its own. If you want to reconcile, both people have to be willing to do the hard work to solve The Problem. Good luck.
2007-02-12 04:26:05 · answer #1 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's completely dependent on the unique situation. My parents divorced when I was 3 and remarried 8 years later. Now they have been married (the second time) for 12 years and are the happiest they've ever been. Now obviously this wouldn't be true for every couple. I would say if you really think it's a possiblity try out living together again for a year before you even think about it. It may refresh your memory of why you divorced or it may rekindle your love for one another, you never know. Good luck to you :)
2007-02-12 04:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by totspotathome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a few couples who've been through this. If nothing's done to heal the problem that caused the split, the remarriage is doomed. No couple should get together or stay together solely for the children, because they'll likely create a miserable environment for the kids with all the fighting.
2007-02-12 05:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, (and I say sometimes with a capital S), people divorce hastily, when the issues could have been solved easily with counciling. I guess it depends on the scenario. If you are fighting all the time, of course that is detrimental to the children. But, if the issues can be solved and the deepness of the love is still there, it could, and has for others, work.
2007-02-12 03:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is for the kids then it will never work out. There has to be more than that. Children should never live in an environment where there is fighting. That is considered child abuse and why would anyone want to put their children through that? Maybe these parents should seek counseling before getting married again and seeing if it is really worth taking that step before putting their children through more trauma.
2007-02-12 03:56:04 · answer #5 · answered by devilgal031948 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know a couple that divorced and then re-married years later. They are very happy. However, they used that time to grow up and mend the problems they had while married.
Getting married for the kids is a bad idea. You teach your children how to be parents and how to be married. If they only yell and fight, I dont see the value.
2007-02-12 03:57:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good idea to remarry? Probably no.
Well its not hard to figure out why they want to do it..
1. They enjoy suffering .
2. probably ready sex has something to do with it.
3. no child support.
It might work, but I feel sorry for the kids having to live out thier parents constant fighting.
2007-02-12 04:02:45 · answer #7 · answered by andreamarie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very stupid. why get married for the kids if all the are going to see is yelling and screaming. children need a stable and loving environment to grow up in. sometimes they are better off with parents in two separate households.
2007-02-12 04:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure why not? If counseling was tried to no avail then maybe the issues are still there. If there are kids and the couple still love each other inspite of their problems.. I'd recommend counseling and see what happens..
2007-02-12 03:54:03 · answer #9 · answered by xjaz1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so what do you p.c. us to do?????????????? You have been married to this lady who did no longer gave a dam approximately you, did no longer enjoyed you, did no longer cared approximately you and grew to become into taking you with none attention … to cut back the long tale short you have been her maid, porter – to enhance her buying bags, financial enterprise – to pay her costs, and supply her intercourse and greater importantly which i think is the social protection … I single or a divorced lady isn't considered with appreciate in our society and human beings attempt to take great factor approximately her via mushy speaking and exhibiting difficulty in direction of her and additionally she has no one to shout on whilst she is annoyed. So now she needs you back to humiliate and boss around … Now you met this lady and he or she i'm hoping loves you and you p.c. to marry her, sorry dude yet i won't comprehend your subject right here. you're DIVORCED and your EX spouse is not any longer an part of your existence and he or she is not your mom so which you are able to flow and ask her permission in case you p.c. to marry this lady. She is long gone and does not have any amazing criminal or non criminal to intervene on your existence. flow get married yet you ensure that this lady loves you, as you truthfully do no longer p.c. to be interior the comparable trashcan back
2016-10-02 00:33:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋