Well... I'm 15 and I'm with this guy right now. I really really like him, but, since parents are parents, they automatically hate him without ever meeting him or giving us a chance. I don't like going behind their backs to see him, but it's the only way. I haven't seen him for over two weeks and it's really taking its toll on both of us. What should I do? I don't want to give this guy up. Everytime something good finally happens to me, it feels like some invisible force creeps up behind me and pulls everything from under my feet.
This is difficult because my parents know that I was sorta messing around with the last boyfriend I had. Right now they aren't letting me go anywhere with friends or outside of my community service club. They really don't trust me because I have lied about times that I've seen him, but I can't help it. They don't trust me anymore, which I completely understand, but it just makes me feel like crap. And, besides, he may be a cool guy, but he doesn't have the
2007-02-12 03:34:55 · 16 answers · asked by oc_sway_nee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
continued: he doesn't have the best record
2007-02-12 03:43:03 · update #1
continued: I think my parents feel this guy will ruin my future, even though I take all Honors and AP classes and get good grades. I already have my life planned out and such... I know that deep down they're right, but he's the first boy I've been with in 7 months and they've deprived me of freedoms long before that.
2007-02-12 03:52:21 · update #2
Girl your still so young, almost EVERYONE experiances what your going through now. It's just part of the teenage years. Parents being hard on you because they don't want you to grow up fast, teens lieing, sneaking around, being angry at parents for being hard on them. Your parents are right most of the time.. although you think they are unreasonable or your just angry because deep down you know they are right. When your older you will appreciate them for being there to look out for you. Don't do drugs, don't smoke cigarettes, practice safe sex, and try really hard in school so you can go to a nice university and be successful in life. When your older you will be so happy you did. I promise. You will feel like your missing out now.. but that's just peer pressure.. Life really isn't a popularity contest.. I regret a lot of stupid things I did when I was younger.
As for the guy.. you shouldn't worry about him.. worry about your future. Guys will still be around in a few years. Or at least we all hope so :)
2007-02-12 03:47:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, well...parents are parents, and it doesn't matter how old you are, 15 or 50, they are always going to want to look out for you and protect you. Not good is sneaky-sneaking around with boyfriend behind parents' back. You're only enhancing their distrust. What is it about boyfriends? I don't really know...I ran with a bad pack for a while, and luckily, nothing bad happened, thank God! You need to see if your parents would be willing to meet him. Something simple, like a lunch at a nice restaraunt, not McDonald's. You need to also see if you can meet your folks halfway, as in a good, solid compromise...you'll absolutely be home by 11:00pm worked for me. If you and your parents can work out an agreement with your boyfriend, then great. Just remember to not ever break your end of the bargain, because then you'll end up at square one again. Yeah, I know 15 is tough, but believe me, your folks are not out to ruin your life! :)
2007-02-12 03:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mudbug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, you're probably gonna hate me for saying this, but you're too young to be doing that stuff. If you understand why your parents distrust you, then you probably will understand the fork in the road you are at. Either, A) You can continue creeping around your parents back and they will continue to distrust you even more or B) You can respect your parents' wishes and prove to them you are mature enough to make good decisions. You have to take a step back, outside of yourself and view things of how they are and think about what's more important to you: your family's trust and respect for you or seeing this guy that you will probably only see for a couple months tops. Above all, if and when you finally do start having sex, PLEASE ALWAYS use a condom!
2007-02-12 03:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by Tygirljojo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you think your parents do have your best interest at heart. It's not all ways easy to see this because you think you all ready know what it is that you want, what's good and best for you.
They don't want to see you get pregnant because you were messing around with your boyfriend and no one wants to be lied to.
There are parents who take the easy way out and just let their children do what ever they want, then they don't have to be the bad guy. But in the end it's their children who end up suffering and paying the price for having lazy parents.
No parent wants to be the bad guy, buy when you make the decision to become a parent it goes along with the job. Your parents obviously are not selfish people, because they take the time to care about you and to raise you to care about your self.
If you want your parents to trust you then you have to show that you are trust worthy, you can not expect them to think that you are to be trusted when you are messing around with boys. I doubt that your parents automatically hate your boyfriend, I think that they hate you messing around with your boyfriend. That is part of what scares them the most as they don't want you to get std's or to get pregnant.
Again you need to show them that you can be trusted. You also state that you tell lies to them about seeing him. So how are they suppose to trust you when you do that?
How would you feel if your parents were to lie to you? How would it make you feel if you saw them doing things that you knew were bad and could cause them to be hurt? Put your self in their place for a moment and look at it through their eyes. Would it make you feel bad if they were to do some thing that would maybe cause them to never maybe never come home again?
See they worry about you all the time. Not just if you have enough food to eat, or a roof over your head or if your clothes are clean. They worry about you being raped, taken away (abducted) getting pregnant and any thing and ever thing else that can happen to children today. That's a lot of stress for parents and its all ways there if your a good parent who loves their children.
Sit down and talk with them. You are going to have to work to show them that you can be trusted again and that may take you a while to do. Trust needs to be earned. Good luck
2007-02-12 04:45:07 · answer #4 · answered by Cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question.
"This is difficult because my parents know that I was sorta messing around with the last boyfriend I had."
you are right they do not trust you, due to your history.
your parents know that messing around can get a girl in trouble, and screw up the rest of her life, if you go too far.
best bet, show them you are responsible, ask your parents if you can have your bf over, to watch TV together, or homework, or games (cards stuff like that).
then when they (mom & dad) feel more comfortable with him, they will let the leash go a little longer.
your young, you still have a lot to learn, and you will take it with you when you get older. don't forget, your mom and dad were your age at one time, and they knew what kind of trouble they can get into, right now their experience is talking.
2007-02-12 03:45:06 · answer #5 · answered by Juggernaut 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart Listen....... I am fairly young myself. 22 to be exact. I know this is going to sound like the typical thing to say but u r really young. I have experienced everything u are going through and believe me ur parents are doing it for your protection. I know u think you really like him and all, but the truth is, you have to think about what you both have to offer each other which is nothing...So how can you feel so strongly about a child that doesn't even take care of himself, and neither do you. Your parents are just trying to make sure that you go the right way in life in order to ensure that you will have something to offer to yourself along with someone else. Because you have already betrayed their trust, so what makes you think they would be okay with you dating a boy....If you get pregnant, he's not going to be much help, like I said, you both don't even provide for yourselves. Your parents don't want another kid to take care of because they have you. Trust me, just do what they tell you to do and pretty soon, you will have all the space you want........Trust me, you have to gain their trust back. And don't rush to be with this boy, if it is meant to be then, it will be.(Soooo Cheezy, I know) Good Luck........
2007-02-12 03:50:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should have them meet up anyway ... this has happen to me my parnets did not trust me either ... but u just have to set up a day where they can meet up so that you guys can be togther in the house ... maybe in the living room watching tv and slowly things will progress remember your still there little girl u may not think so but thats how they see it ... i have a daughter and i would feel that way aboput this particular sistuation plus i lived thru it
2007-02-12 03:44:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are just looking out for you because they love and care about you. I can see why they won't let you go out with friends because they lost your trust when you lie to them. You need to stop lieing and show them that they can trust you again. You need to sit down with them and talk to them and explain to them that this guy your dating is sweet and you'd like them to get to know him and see that before they judge him. Don't sneak around their back because they'll find out evenually and that would make it worse on you.
2007-02-12 03:43:53 · answer #8 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be a ho. You're young. If its meant to be, you will plenty of time for him. What's important is to have a trusting relationship with your parents. They want what's best for you, even if you just think they're being stupid. Have an open HONEST talk with them. Gain their trust and don't break it again (its harder to do again). Be honest with everyone.
2007-02-12 03:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by SuperHamster 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im in pretty much the same situation! tell ur parents how it is, ur not gonna split up wit him, and as much as u respect their opinion (even if u dont) u trust him, and u hope that they can trust ur judgement. tell them that keepin u apart will just make u want to see him more, and that it wont affect ur relationship (even if it will) but if anythin youll be less likely to come to them if u need help
hope it gets better
x
2007-02-12 03:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋