should my 12 year old son be doing chores round the house??

Answer 1

Of course he should, helps him understand that tidy rooms, clean clothes etc do not appear by majic.

You'll be making him a better catch too when he meets his future partner later in life. Lets face we all love a man who can iron his own shirts!

good luck

Answer 2

Quite definately. There are several internet sites that will give you a good idea of where to start. My 11 year old is responsible for vaccuming, setting/clearing the table every night, taking care of the cats as far as food/water and also putting away his own clothes (he bleached the colored load, but that's ok, we learn from these things).

A bit of advice, off the beaten track: Suddenly drawing up a complex list of chores and tasks will only cause rebellion. Ease into it slowly, maybe starting with between 1-3 tasks per week and then adding more as time goes on. Having a talk about "you're now at the age where I shouldn't have to wait on you hand & foot" and including the word "responsibilities" in there might help.

Another thing, they WILL get it wrong the first few times! The best example I ever heard was not to say "go clean your room". Say "I would like your dirty laundry in the hamper/basket and then please make sure all your books are on the shelves."

If you think that he will automatically learn how to take care of himself when he grows up, think again. It starts young. You're starting late, but by far you can still make a dent in things. Don't forget to teach him how to balance a checkbook and cook a complete meal either - these are necessary life skills aside from cleaning that can't be compromised when they grow up - they end up writing a lot of rubber checks and eating take-out 7 nights a week.

Answer 3

I think it is good to encourage your kid at that age to do chores... I even let my 4 years old help with the vacuuming and washing up although he doesn't always do a great job (ha ha) but I praise him for at least trying. He grins with pride after he's offered to do a chore.

I did my own chores when I was about your son's age.... it helps us learn how to be independent also learn how to use the simple house chores because mum will not always be around to do it!

When I left school and was still living at home, my parents were both working full time so I'd do house chores and even made the dinner. It was part of the deal of living under their roof also a small bit of rent in cash.

That reminds me of those days where I'd get trapped inside the duvet cover while trying to change the bed sheets in my parents bedroom. ha ha ha. I have not done that for years because I learnt how to do it properly after a few trials and errors.

Just don't ask him to iron your clothes otherwise you'd have burnt clothes or new holes. I know I did!!! ha ha

Answer 4

I'm going to say yes, but caution you a bit. If he hasn't been doing chores until now, you might take it slowly so you don't discourage him and make chores seem like, well, a chore. Your own attitude will make a huge difference as well, if mom and dad gripe and moan about how they 'have to do everything', then he'll have a very bad attitude about chores as well. I know many parents who suddenly decide to 'put their foot down', and create a monster who resents his parents.

Start with personal responsibility, putting away things he has used, such as dishes at meals ("Sweetie, the dishwasher is dirty, do you mind putting your plate in there?"), or personal items left in the living room ("Son, if you're done with your homework, would you pack it up and put it in your room?") Instead of expecting him to do chores right away, understand that he'll probably need walked through them several times to know all the steps to do the chore properly. Start by having him help you..."Son, I would like to get the laundry folded, would you mind doing the towels for me? When we're done we can play a computer game."

Just so you know, we have seven kids, and pretty much everyone from three up gets to do chores to help the family. Yes...we get to do chores, we don't 'have' to do them. Because they've been raised to think chores are a blessing to help the family, it's a fun and fast way we clean our house, not a burden.

Good luck, i can tell you are a caring mom who wants what is best for your child. That and love will get you far!

Answer 5

Yes as long as they are age related and not impacting on his school times.It is never to early to teach a child independant skills.Make the chores in relation to himself like keeping his room tidy then start allowing him to help out around the house for the family.This will teach him that no one task should belong to one person.Make sure any siblings also have to do thier bit so things are fair.Males should be encouraged to get away from the stereotypicle view that chores are a womans job at an early age.Don't forget to reward with positive praise for a job well done and avoid criticising when he is struggling.A reward every now and then would be nice but don't make his chores rewarded all the time.

Answer 6

Yes

One day he will have to take of himself.
If he doesn't do anything then start with things like keeping his bedroom tidy. It is a gradual process of wearing down. If the 'angry' refusals start just be patient.

Some chores can be 'joint ventures' like cooking the dinner, kids often enjoy helping with the preparation.

Things like washing up are the 'I'll wash you wipe' scenario which also gives you a chance to have a conversation about his school day. It is an important time as he will be approaching issues like deciding what subjects to take if he is 13 before August this year.

You can link others (like washing your car if you have one ) to small amounts of pocket money.

A further option on some ocassions is to say. Hey we could go to the cinema tonight but I need to get all this done first(whatever 'this' is) can you help me please?

Always be polite and don't get disappointed when the refusals come. Go steadily and keep chipping away without nagging.

There will always be a bit of carrot and stick approach required you will have to trust to your own judgement using your own past expeiences when you were 12 to decide when and where.

Answer 7

Hell yes! They need to contribute to the welfare of the family. Taking out the garbage, emptying the dishwasher, putting their clothes away. I have two sons, 14 and 12.. They complain.. as long as their grades are good and they help out with what we ask(and it's not a lot).. They don't get complaints from me.. Otherwise.. I lay down the law. I realize kids are different these days.. but I had a paper route, cut yards emptied the dishwasher. still had time to play sports, do school work and play with friends. Kids now.. play on their computers 8 hrs a day or more.. One more thing.. When he gets married.. His wife will be angry if he does nothing around the house. Start them early.. They do not need to be slaves.. Just they need to appreciate how hard their parents work for what they have and the value of a buck.

Answer 8

Yes most definitely. Even from about 2 years they can begin learning to do chores by helping to put their toys away.

Answer 9

Yes, it's a good idea to draw up a rota of chores, especially if you have more than one child. This avoids one or other of them claiming that they get asked to do more. Link pocket-money into satisfactory completion and be tough...don't give in and give it to him anyway.
An interesting study showed that the young child who could best successfully defer gratification (in the study it was a small cake) was most likely to do well in their education. By encouraging your boy to do chores for a later payment, you are preparing him for later life.

Answer 10

He should. He should be making his own bed, pack away his own washing and clean his own room. He should also do some outside chores like mowing the lawn or sweeping the path etc. Let him earn his pocket-money so he can learn you don't get anything for nothing. That way he also learns how to respect other peoples properties as well as your own. :)))

Answer 11

Absolutely. I was doing chores when I was 7, a percentage of my allowance rode on it. Perhaps you should let him decide how much work he does, with a rate card for how much each job is worth. If he does nothing, he does without sweets. If he does loads, you can put your feet up!