We are having our first child and thought about having an Au Pair instead of daycare. Any advice??

Question

My husband travels and I work. I don't want to work for more than a year after having the baby but during that time I do not want to put a little one in daycare. We are trying to think of our options and one thing I came up with was an Au Pair. I've looked at a couple of websites and see varying prices. Does anyone know what is typically charged? A good organization to work with? Any other pointers or advice would be great!!!

Wow Linda that is a harsh answer!!! You shouldn't judge anyone that has to work. You have NO idea what sort of life we lead!!! Trust me I do want to stay home and plan to within the year but at this point it is important that I work. That's doesn't mean that we don't want a child. Choose your words carefully your children are listening.

Answer 1

Hi.

A lot of the decision on au-pairs is about where you live, and this for 2 reasons: legally (because in the US you must go through a legal agency, or otherwise you'll have an illegal immigrant without health insurance in your home), and because some locations will be a lot more attractive to young girls. Of course, that means that is you are in a big city with lots of young life, you will have more girls to choose from!!!

An au-pair is typically a young adult - 18 to 25 - who lives with you and your family and provides an average of 35 hours of daycare and light household help each week, in exchange of room, board and a weekly pay of 150 to 200 US... the number of hours and the actual work required are often abused by families - and can turn into a marathon of house cleaning... week-ends are usually time off, and often the au-pair will then be hanging around the house and with the family.

You have to factor in the agency once-time costs: about 5000 US, including travel costs (from EU most of the time), visa (for 1 yrs can be extended to 18 months), and redcross training. Also included is the support to the girl during her stay - and you definitely want that, as this will get her out of your way at least some times!!!! believe me, you will want some peace in your home some moments.

Good organizations there are a few - mostly all of those providing you with a legal visa are US approved. I have worked with greataupair.com in and out of the US.

Usually, I look for someone in the 20ies - even more so with a baby. You also want to spend the first few days at home, plan her arrival over a week-end, and then make sure you take a couple of days off so you can go through with her with daily routines. Show her how everything works, make sure you explain what she can do/can't do, what she is expected to eat, read, touch, and what is yours and private (you'd be surprised at times where they get into...). Make clear that information about your family, work, and bank accounts is priviledged, and any disclosure is ground for dismissal. Prepare a list of all this information in written, and go through with her upon arrival, clarifying all points. Plan monthly 1/2 hour meetings, to see how things are and review all unclear points. Remember it is an employment contract - not a best friend. Be nice, fair, clear, kind and you will get that back - most of the time. The biggest challenge is communication - either too much or not enough.

Last piece of advice: don't let anybody put you down on your choice to work. Being self-sufficient is the best protection any woman can have for herself and for her children. The fact of not being there to clean the poop and making every meal doesn't make you any less than a great mom, and your little one will know it!!!

Answer 2

Another point to look at is what might happen to your child by leaving her at home with an Au Pair. Sometimes they are so nice to your child in front of you, but give them hell when your back is turned. You might need to put in cameras. A good check though is that your child will cringe and not want you to leave her alone with the au pair if she is being ill treated by her. Tread very carefully with this one.

Answer 3

There are two things to be careful about with an au pair. One that she really takes good care of the child and second that you leave her alone in your home for hours at a time. Get a criminal record check and ask for many references to character etc.

Answer 4

Why even have a child if you are just going to hand him/her off to someone to take care of...I just do not get it!!! Why even take that chance?? can you live with yourself if she does harm to your baby?? stay home and take care of your baby, Give up the luxuries!! it is your flesh and blood...to someone else, that baby is just a paycheck!!!