How can I get my son to stay in his own bed?

Question

When he was born, he slept with me all the time, esp. when his father and I split. So I can say that it is mainly my fault, that he will not stay in his bed through the night. Now at age 3, I am ready for him to stay in his own bed. I have tried to talk to him and turn a movie on for him, it works for a while, but I wake up and he is in my bed. What can I do that will keep him in his own bed?

Answer 1

Okay, it is NOT your fault. You did what was natural. Babies are meant to be close to their parents. My son is 3 1/2 and some nights ends up in bed with my husband and I. Not a big deal. Can you put a bed on your floor and when he gets used to the bed you can move him into his room.

I would never ever ever lock my child in their room. Could you imagine waking up in the middle of the night, try to open your door and it's locked??? Yeah, I'm thinking it wouldn't be pleasant. Would defenitely scare the crap out of me.

You could try a sticker reward system. Explain to him that every night he stays in his bedroom he gets a sticker, but if he comes into bed with you, he gets his sticker taken away. Once he has 7 stickers (stayed in his bed for 7 nights) he gets to pick out a treat (swim at the pool, skating, small toy from the store). That worked excellent for my son and his potty training.

Consistensy. It wouldn't be fair to him for you to allow him in bed sometimes and not others. So if you don't want him in bed with you, as soon as he comes into your room, you need to bring him back to his room. You will probably be tired in the long run, but he will get the point.

Answer 2

Why does it disturb you? If the child does not bother your sleep, and it makes him feel secure, the difficulty exists only in your mind.

I am not an especially wise person, but I know enough about children in the home to know that if your little child bites your Heritage coffee table and leaves his teeth marks, don't let it bother you. The child is everything, the table is nothing, and the day will come when you will look at those tiny teeth marks, and your heart will break. You would not take million for that treasured long ago scar.

Welcome the child, and love him while he is with you. In six more years he will have passed half of the time he will ever be with you before college. Don't waste a moment in harsh words or "training." We train pets; we treasure children.

Answer 3

My daughter just turned 5, and asked the same question a few days ago. We have a routine that we follow: Glass of milk, story, hugs n kisses, rock her (I sing winnie the pooh twice while rocking) then lay down. I wait until she's asleep then leave her room with the door slightly cracked. When she wakes up later, I let her stay with me for 10-15 minutes so that way she knows Mommy's here, then either walk her or carry her back to her bed and stay with her till she gets drowsy enough to leave. If she sees me leaving, I tell her Mommy's gonna take a shower, I'll be back to check on you, and she knows Im not going anywhere, she's settled and cozy and drifts back to sleep. Don't be impatient, enjoy the fact that he wants you and misses you, and sooner rather than later hes not going to want you in his room at all! lol

Answer 4

It's not 'your fault" because there is nothing wrong with children sleeping with their mothers. In fact, it's how we evolved. separate beds are very new, and pretty risky, as well as emotional damaging to children.

Don't put him to bed with a tv - tv is very stimulating. plus, he's too young to be watching much tv at all. you should be reading to him until he falls asleep. or talking to him with the lights out until he falls asleep.

Is there actually a problem waking him up and finding him there - finding that he got his emotional needs met? Or is it that people who don't really care about the needs of children are telling you there is something wrong with it? Cause it's normal, natural, and what your child actually needs.

Especially if he is forced to be separated from you during the day, which is very harmful to children.

Answer 5

I would let him go to sleep in your bed and then put him in his own bed and keep doing that every time he comes back to your bed. This is a difficult habit to break so be consistent. I know that you'll be tired etc but you already said that you know this is your fault. He feels safe in your bed so you need to let him know that his bed is safe too. Good luck.

Answer 6

first, give him a shorter nap during the day so he is more tired at night and will have a harder time waking up to come into your room. next, everytime he comes to your room, pick him up and place him back in his bed, cover him up and walk away. dont say anything to ihm or it will wake him up more and he will fight you to sleep in your bed. keep repeating this step. it will be hard but i promise it will work.

Answer 7

stay with him in his bedroom util he nfalls asleep then u go to ur bedroom and if u wake up during the night and he is next to u, get him and put him back in his bed...that way when he wakes up in the mornin and c that he slept in his own bed he wil be gettin used to it

Answer 8

have you tried any sort of reward system for when he does stay in his bed at night. Give him lots of praise and rewards at the beginning and then slow down until you no longer need the system.

Answer 9

Its tough, we still have that problem with our 4yr old although we found if we shut our bedroom door we could hear if he came into our bedroom and we could take him back- they do seem to be able to sneak in so well! Also you could try a baby gate on his door so you could hear him wake up and send him back. goodluck

Answer 10

It's not mainly your fault.

It's ENTIRELY your fault. You waited until your kid was an old toddler before having him sleep by himself, and now you can't figure out why he doesn't want to change?

Best of luck, you set yourself up with some misery.