Well, when I was young, he was a drug addict. He was verbally abusive with everyone in the house. And he slaps my mom around. I didn't have the strength to go against him back then, but usually we clashed when I reached 20. My mom thinks it's embarassing that we fight. Anyway, he's in some other place nursing complications of a stroke. Is it time to forgive and forget?
2007-02-12 02:35:46 · 10 answers · asked by nausea guy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, when I was young, he was a drug addict. He was verbally abusive with everyone in the house. And he slaps my mom around. I didn't have the strength to go against him back then, but usually we clashed when I reached 20. My mom thinks it's embarassing that we fight. Anyway, he's in some other place nursing complications of a stroke. Is it time to forgive and forget?
Furthermore, he was a good provider. I mean, he was able to put all of us to college.
2007-02-12 02:48:47 · update #1
My father had a vice too-he was an alcoholic. He was abusive to my mum and the rest of the family-he took out his unhappiness on me a lot. Physical (hitting, bashing, pushing) and mental abuse was part of the game. And as a result, he has affected me in a way that will stay with me for a long time. It's hard to say if there is a time to forgive and forget. That happens when you can put everything that your father did down. Once you can do that, then you can forgive-once you forgive, you can forget. I still can't do that...things like this takes time. It's a start that you are pondering it. I hope you can forgive and forget-the fact that you are asking means that you are willing to do it. You will be much more happier as a result.
2007-02-12 04:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by BKYW 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it is a time to take the step and see if it's possible to forgive. Forget doesn't happen, but forgiveness and moving on might.
Keep in mind, you don't have to like your father or be close to him. He's caused you pain, from what you say. Now that you're an adult, you can make a choice to relate to him on an adult level -- which can mean being present and supportive, but not emotional.
2007-02-12 10:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jarien 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can have compassion on a human being who has made such waste of his life.... But I would not be influenced by a woman, your "mother", that kept her child(ren) in that environment. That was not loving at all. She should not be trying to shame you into having a phony relationship with your sperm donor dad, when she did not protect you from him. Turn away from them and find a good and loving Church and discover the true love of Christ. I did and it made all the difference in my life. God Bless
2007-02-12 10:51:50 · answer #3 · answered by MEAcat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not that you hate him, but you hate his behavior and all the junk you went through. I would try to make amends with him. I didn't speak with my dad for 6 years. After my mom passed away, I realized that I needed to patch things up because He wasn't going to live forever either. Yes parents can be annoying , but they are your parents. I would put out the olive branch and if It doesn't work, at least you tried .
2007-02-12 10:47:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive someone and still set the terms of your relationship so that you're comfortable with it. It's not about forgiveness, it's about setting your boundaries.
Maybe visit him from time to time but limit the visits to the frequency and length of time you can maintain a good feeling. Then smile and leave.
2007-02-12 10:39:50 · answer #5 · answered by KC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't hate my father either, but we just can't live in the same house. now that ur father is sick and probably being sick like that is the prize of his actions that he used to commit, i think that u should make peace with him. yeah forgiving him right now would be a blessing.
2007-02-12 10:41:07 · answer #6 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you didn't have a great childhood, my dad was a decent wonderful father but very stern. But all I will say is this: I wish that I could tell my dad how much he means to me but it's too late.
2007-02-12 10:44:25 · answer #7 · answered by K-E-G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem,i didn't like either parent after i found out they knew i was being sexually abused and did nothing to stop it, but i have forgiven them for that now,and have moved on!
2007-02-12 10:40:41 · answer #8 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since your father then yes and if the problem still persists then avoid him and live your life
2007-02-12 10:39:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the upper hand now. Don't abuse it.
2007-02-12 10:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋