I am raising my fiance daughters. Their mother is very cold and selfish and tells her daughters?

Question

to "get over it" when they cry that they want to see her.
I find myself constantly have to console them(they are teenagers) wipe their tears and tell them that their mother does love them, but its getting harder to convey that. She rarely picks them up for visitation and chooses her bf and friends over seeing them. She is down to two overnights a month. They want to know shy she is acting so uncaring.
I feel like the are my daughters so its hard not to get emotional effected when I see them in pain. I have my own children as well and everyone blends beautifully. The girls are close to my fiance but cannot discuss their hurt with their mother with him, because they don't want him to get upset. I have tried to email their mother coming events involving her daughters and ask medical questions but she never answers me and when she does come to pick them up she avoids me although I always greet her kindly.
How do I get the mother to s

Answer 1

Its nothing you can dot when they grown they will know that there mother was not around that much and they going to thank you for taking care of them and they going to see you as there mother just keep up what are you for them and one day there mother will see that but it will be to late because they going to love you more then her .
and dot worried about there mother just do what you are doing and for them you're there mother because you're taking care of them the she is.

Answer 2

You don't, you need to stop trying to ask her mother questions because she most likely will not answer the mother is probably mad because her ex has custody of the girls, you should just tell the girls they will be ok and you will make sure of it, you should have a talk with your ex about taking visitation completly away from the mother if it is upsetting them, because the mother does not want to see them so much.

Answer 3

do no longer contain your self in that drama! you're doing precisely what you're able to be doing... giving those ladies the help from a woman which will help them to understand their mothers indifference, at a later time of their existence. they have you ever to look as much as and notice as their 'mom'. What they want is so you might concentration fullyyt on them. do no longer hassle calling mommy dearest and attempting to create a bond for her and her daughters. enable HER ASK for the time. Take the ladies to the mall and bypass buying.. have lunch, play video games, hit the song shops and revel in having stunning daughters which you probably did no longer could undergo the soreness of childbirth for! You and the ladies win. some persons are 'broken' and could't be fastened. restoration what you are able to... broken hearts and disappointments.

Answer 4

Your question wasn't clear but I think there's 3 sides to this story. We only know your side. These girls are teenagers and should be able to communicate with their mother themselves, without you having to be in charge. If you have her e-mail address, why won't you give it to the girls so they can contact her directly? I'm sure these teenagers can do anything else they want on the computer, right?

Answer 5

maybe you should just stop trying to get her to be be a mother and just start helping these kids to forget her . maybe you have try ed long enough to get her to be there for them . I can tell you that when they grow up and she wants to be there for them they will just kick her to the curb for what she has done to them . I'm glad that your family is as one because that's the way it should be . you are marrying some one with children and he is doing the same so their for you are all as one big happy family .Good luck to you and your fiancee

Answer 6

give them love as much as you can,when they questions about their then tell them that she loves you,but dont be so depressed that you loose your self respect as well,do what your heart says and in which u feel better,be good with them and try to be their real mother though knowing the fact.

Answer 7

The dad needs to get involved with this...The mother will not answer you, she doesn't have to, sorry...Dad needs to be the one to confront her, you just keep on doing what your doing for them and be a good stepmom...

Answer 8

you need to tell your fiancee and work out things together... she needs to mrealize they need her.. cause it hurts.. they might end up hating her when they are all grown...