I am raising my fiance daughters. Their mother is very cold and selfish putting her friends and bf before them

Question

I find myself constantly have to console them(they are teenagers) wipe their tears and tell them that their mother does love them, but its getting harder to convey that. She rarely picks them up for visitation and chooses her bf and friends over seeing them. She is down to two overnights a month. They want to know shy she is acting so uncaring.
I feel like the are my daughters so its hard not to get emotional effected when I see them in pain. I have my own children as well and everyone blends beautifully. The girls are close to my fiance but cannot discuss their hurt with their mother with him, because they don't want him to get upset. I have tried to email their mother coming events involving her daughters and ask medical questions but she never answers me and when she does come to pick them up she avoids me although I always greet her kindly.
How do I get the mother to see she is hurting her daughters?

Answer 1

Those girls are so lucky to have you in their lives. Unfortunately, as you said, their mother is very self-centered. In a situation like that, even if she knows that she is hurting her children, she might not care. Perhaps she sees her daughters as a threat (I've seen some mothers act competitively with their teenage daughters---it's really pathetic). Or, maybe now that they are not cute little kids anymore she has lost interest in them.
The main thing is to keep doing what you have been. You have tried your best to keep their mother informed and involved, and keep doing so. Even if she doesn't care, it will matter to the girls that you made the effort.

Answer 2

You have them get together and talk to their dad.
you can't worry about hurting any ones feelings here, the kids are already hurting.
it is their father's place to handle this not you.
You should not be making excuses for this woman.
These children need to tell their mother how they feel. They are skirting around the issue, and the mother needs to know how this is affecting her daughters. I don't think it really matters to her, as she is doing her own thing, but you must give the girls the opportunity to do so.
Their father should take care of this matter.

Answer 3

do no longer contain your self in that drama! you're doing precisely what you're able to be doing... giving those ladies the help from a woman which will help them to understand their mothers indifference, at a later time of their existence. they have you ever to look as much as and notice as their 'mom'. What they want is so you might concentration fullyyt on them. do no longer hassle calling mommy dearest and attempting to create a bond for her and her daughters. enable HER ASK for the time. Take the ladies to the mall and bypass buying.. have lunch, play video games, hit the song shops and revel in having stunning daughters which you probably did no longer could undergo the soreness of childbirth for! You and the ladies win. some persons are 'broken' and could't be fastened. restoration what you are able to... broken hearts and disappointments.

Answer 4

It is difficult.But a person of your strenth can do it . Try hard.

Answer 5

you avoid this conection