hi any ideas on things to make me feel better?

Question

i'm nearly 21 and i suffer with depression and im on fluexitine. i want rid of my low mood. i still live at home with parents, im learning to drive at mo. i work in a betting shop but dont think it helps with my condition as customers and collegues are either dirty old men, some racists and generally some negative people too. i come home most evenings feeling bored and low, i let people make decisions for me as i dont feel strong enough to think and act on what i want. i really want a career where i can travel and help people or animals here or in 3rd world countries. i just feel there's gotta be more to life than this. should i see a counsellor as want to talk to someone who'll listen.

Answer 1

I suffer from depression and have done since I was a very small child (the earliest I remember of it was when I was 5), so I know how you feel. It didn't help that my mates were horrible to me, took advantage and made me feel second-rate to them - then turned round and said they hated me! I went to uni and found that difficult - had to take a semester out and redo it then lost interest pretty much completely, so when I got to the BA stage, I took it and ran. Then I tried to get into a career I wanted but couldn't due to lack of qualifications and experience and all I could get were temping jobs. I felt so miserable and stuck in a rut. I made plans and kept changing them all the time, because it either didn't feel right or I was afraid etc etc. I know what it feels like to feel worthless and that there's nothing out there for you.

In august last year, I had enough. I sat myself down and gave myself a good talking to. I asked myself what it was I really wanted to do. Then how was I going to get it? Nothing is impossible, you just have to work to where you want to get to. I decided to go back to university and get my masters (but need to get honours first). So I started doing research into different courses and funding and saw that I may need to fund myself. Instead of looking at the prices and thinking 'oh no, that's too expensive, I'll never be able to afford that', I took it as a challenge. I ended up working 60 odd hours a week in two jobs and a volunteer placement and although I was knackered and had virtually no social life during that time, I felt fantastic as I knew I was doing this for my future. Now, I have it all planned out and it feels great to have goals, big and small. I still suffer from lack of confidence and esteem etc etc but whenever I feel low, I try and talk myself out of it and I'm so excited about my life and future.

I'm telling you this to help you to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your best bet is to do the same and figure out what you want out of life. You want to go abroad - you have access to the internet, you should do some research into what you want to do. Do you need qualifications? Experience? Go to college and/or volunteer for a few months to get those. I had to move back in with my parents after uni...and hated it! But since I've been getting my life together, they have been so supportive and have helped me out a lot. It's a complete pain, but see it as a good thing - if you plan to save for the things you wanna do, well you don't have bills and mortgages to pay! If you don't like your job, can you change it at all? Take up a hobby so you can meet new people and build on your confidence. If you're not ready for the big goals just yet, make little ones for yourself and treat yourself when you achieve them - even if they take time to achieve. If you fail, the hard part is getting yourself back up again, but you can do it. A counsellor may be a good idea - I went to see a psychologist who went through a lot of techniques to change my thought patterns, maybe they could do the same or similar for you?

I'm sorry for writing such a long answer, but I really hope that you start to feel better. Just wanting to feel better shows that you're on the right track. Good luck :-) xx

Answer 2

You could go back to your GP who might be able to recommend some free counselling. On top of how you're feeling the last thing you need is to be worrying about paying for a counsellor, which could be hundreds.

Sometimes speaking to someone makes you feel better just because you can talk about things you might not normally feel comfortable talking about.

counsellors can be portrayed very badly but they do help.

Most of all you need to realise that you're a decent person, be strong in yourself.

Maybe you could go to a friend for some support, my friends have been wonderful when all I've wanted to do is cry and moan about the world.

Regarding work, have a look through the Internet, research some jobs that you like the look of and then see what qualifications you need. Living with your parents is a huge bonus when you're looking for a career change as it means you don't have so many commitments. Learning to drive will also help. The freedom you will have will be a HUGE lift to your mood. It was for me.

Good luck. x

Answer 3

i was on the depression pills aswell and did me no good.
when i stopped them (my own desision) i also changed job.
it was like a shot in the arm.
thrown in at the deep end type stuff and was lucky to get a great job with an amazing boss.
everything seemed a little more sunny after that and so far, 2 years later im a much better person.

change that job.
take that risk.
what have you got to loose.........yeah thats right...nothing.
taking a chance is incredible hard work but you can only go up cant you?
even if it didnt work (seeing ya situation though i cant see why i wouldnt) you will still have the sense of achievment that you put yaself out there and took a chance.it feels great even when it doesnt work out.
I speak from experience believe me.ive feel on my face more times than i care to mention.
get that volentear work started that ya talking about.

How Rewarding Will That Be????

Thats right....it'll feel great.

believe it or not you've already got alot sorted out.
you know the problems....
you know the solutions.....

Go get the new you.

only you can do it in the end.
all this advise obviously helped me and im not going to patronise you and say that everything will happen the same and everyones the same but like i just said the truth is you know what to do and ya very lucky to have those.

All the best of luck.

Answer 4

Go to your local college and get yourself on a course, there are plenty that start throughout the year. If you work daytime do it in an evening...you will be surprised how many people feel the same and want to get on with something rewarding...make that first step and meet people of a like mind. I know what you are saying about the betting shop cos they are full of men...not all dirty old ones but anyone who's winning is happy if not they have to take their frustration out on someone and that will be you. You need daylight, sunshine, fresh air, young people...don't give your job up though just start to make plans and I really do wish you the very best of luck. Think positive and don't rely on your medication, you need it and it will help you but you have to do the majority of this yourself and you CAN do it...YOU WILL DO IT...Good luck

Answer 5

Yes talk to a counsellor. As well as being there to listen they can also give you advice on how to get back on track. And if you tell them what you really want to do they can send you in the right direction to get to get the right information so you can start to get you life back and be happy.

I know its hard but you also have to help yourself too. The counsellor can help you by giving you exercises etc and advice and information about what you want to do but they can't look into it for you. You will have to make yourself get up and do it.

Also, try to keep yourself busy. The more you are alone (although thats all you feel like doing most of the time) the more low you will feel. The same with being bored. The more bored you are the worse you will feel.

Definitely speak to someone about it. It feels better to get everything out.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon x

Answer 6

Excercise is a really good way to start feeling better. When you ecercise your brain releases extra serotonins. Try joining a gym and start working out. You don't have to go nuts but even an hour every few days will help. As for the rest of your life, start slowly. Maybe have a look at some courses in an area you are interested in, see if it's what you like. Try volunteering at some organisations you are interested and build up your experience and choices that way. It is a slow road getting out of a depression but you have to try and do something little each day to push yourself forward. Seeing a counsellor may help but at the end of the day only you can change your circumstances.

Answer 7

As you say that you would like a career working with animals why not think about doing a short course on small animal care at your local college. Even though you are working you may find a short day course that you could study. Not only would this be theraputic it would get you out to meet like minded people and get you a qualification as well. And you could can claim Individual Learning Accounts ILA's to pay towards the cost of a training course (£200 pounds).
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As far as working and travelling in 3rd world countries, the idea sounds great, however, I think it would be prudent to get to grips with your depression first, so yes going to see a counsellor for cognitive therapy would probably help you immensley. Ask your doctor to be referrred as if you pay for it yourself it will eat into your hard earned cash. Where as if you get referred by your GP you could save that money towards buying a car or something you need.
I have suffered with depression and I know how very lonely it can be. Often this aspect of depression is overlooked by the medical profession and just by having the chance to talk to someone about how you are feeling could make a hugh difference.

And I agree working at a betting shop is probably not the place for you to be as many of the customers will be disaffected and as you say have negative attitudes. So why not look for something else to do as you must be very sharp and good at figures to work in that sort of environment.

I would suggest that you go along to your local careers office and make and appointment to speak with a careers advisor who can listen and talk through various career and training options with you. Leaving you to decide from informed choices.

Good luck with the driving lessons and with your beating this 'Black Dog' as Winston Churchill used to call his depression.

Nettie UK lass

PSS The best advice is a good diet and plenty of sleep and the depression will cure it's self

Answer 8

Hey! It sounds like you have good ambitions - to travel and to help others! So focus your energy on making a plan of how you are going to do that - job hunt? "gap year" type thing? CSV might help?
There are so many good opportunities out there, and if you have been working (and hopefully saved some money up!) then maybe you could take a "gap year" and travel and work a bit abroad.
CSV - http://www.csv.org.uk/Volunteer/Full-time/
is a company where you work full time as a volunteer and get bed and board, and some cash as well. You can get placed anywhere in the UK helping :
Adults with mental health problems
Residents of homeless hostels
University students with physical disabilities
Children with special needs
Drug and alcohol users
Young offenders
Older people
People with disabilities to access leisure and community facilities

It looks really good - I'm hoping to do it next year. I think its good for people who need to have a change, want to help people, but haven't saved up enough money to go travelling or to help abroad.

Find some enthusiasm - do you enjoy cooking? try cooking a three-course meal for your parents one night... it's great fun!

Hope you are feeling chirpy soon! I know how horrible it is to feel repressed and depressed. Good Luck!! xxx

Answer 9

i feel the same as you a lot of the time.. i feel i bit lost like i have no purpose!.. defo go see a counsellor if you can, i think it might help you to work out what you really want from life and also give you the confidence to achieve it. Maybe try and get another job too as i dont think i could handle that environment! Maybe try getting a careers interview at your local job centre as well.. they might be able to give you inspiration or point you in the right direction of achieving your dreams.. and also you will get a sense of achievement for trying. I hope it all works out for you, good luck x

Answer 10

Sweetheart it will get better! I've suffered like you in the past & thought it would never end but it has... Get your driving test out of the way, best thing I ever did, I have all the freedom in the world now! I took rescue remedy spray for my nerves, worked a treat! As for your job stick it out untill you find a new one as lack of money will make it seem worse... what about going to college to do leisure & tourism then working as a holiday rep .... that would make you smile!!! Talk to your parents, they are probably unaware of how low you feel & would be more than happy to help you .... I'm a mum (of 5 ) I'd be devastated if I thought my child dealt with it alone! A councelloer would be good but be strong as it can make you feel worse before you feel better .... but you will! Chin up.... good luck xx