about a year ago i was in a relationship with this girl. she was everything i wanted and i thought everything was fine with us....long story short she was not faithful and we broke up. a few months after we broke up i met another girl....it took a while 2 get close to her and im finally there. she is great, we love each other, but i cant get my ex out of my head....i dont know why. the other day i was looking her up on the internet, when i stopped myself... my girlfriend now has so much more 2 offer me, and i really do love her.....but why cant i stop thinking about my ex - its already been a year....why cany i fully move on?? i admit there wasnt much closure after our relationship....i wish i could just forget her, and look 2 the future with the girl im with now.....am i in love with 2 different girls??
2007-02-11 21:58:32 · 14 answers · asked by tyler 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It happens, man or woman.
Look, sometimes we have regrets, remorse, grief, or sorrow. Regrets about what? No closure… Even though we as humans know with our minds that something is over, we still feel loss in our hearts. Loss is not something we can get over very easily. EVEN when something new comes to our lives we still remember the yesterdays.
Look at loving a pet or past loved one when they move on and leave us. This is the same thing but actually HARDER when the person is still around.. Grief makes us want what we had but we know that it just can’t be, (or shouldn’t be). With old relationships the person is still around. Can be contacted, whatever. Let them go… If you need help letting them go remember the BAD times, walk through the NEW OPEN door that has been provided. Make your heart happy again by saying. That was yesterday, today and tomorrow I have a better life if I choose it to be.
Love is like a flower… How can you make it grow if you keep churning up the soil looking for the old seeds. Plant it, water it, give it the attention that it needs today. It will provide you with a lot of happiness tomorrow.
2007-02-11 22:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by Renoirs_Dream 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through a similar situation so I can totally relate. It's hard to let go of someone that cheated on you and ended the relationship. It seems like it's not over but it really is. It's an odd thing, that's for sure. The only advice I can give you is to push yourself to move on. Try not to dwell on the good times you and the ex had. Remember that SHE chose to ruin the relationship, not you. In a way, you need to dwell on the anger you feel about her lying and being unfaithful and tell yourself that those actions speak volumes about her and her morals. You don't hurt the ones you love. Period. You didn't cause her to cheat. You couldn't have stopped it and you didn't do anything wrong. Be sure to lay the blame on this girl and don't question anything you did or didn't do.
I'm sure you're wondering what could've been and if you should've done things different. Rest assured, you did the right thing. You were in a no win situation and even if you stayed with your ex, your relationship would have never been the same. The trust was broken and you would've always questioned her honesty. That's no way to live.
Remember your ex for what she was, a lying, cheating, disloyal mistake who doesn't deserve to have your company. Sorry to be harsh but anyone that cheats isn't worth a damn. Like I said, my ex did the same to me. He cheated for a full year while stringing me along and then cheated on the woman (using that word loosely!) with me after he broke up with me to be with her and then dumped her for me and then dumped me for her again (he did this like 4 times!) and finally, I was fed up. When he came crawling back, I told him to get bent. After all that, I still think about him and get angry but I know with each day, it will get better. He's miserable and I'm better off without him.
You can get over this girl, I promise you can. Right now, even a year later, it's hard to get over the anger & resentment that she caused. Cheating will do that. Hold the one you have right now close to you. Be confident that you made the right choice (you did!) and allow yourself to think about your ex but don't forget to think about the pain she caused you and what SHE threw away.
You're not the bad guy here. It's natural to feel the way you do now and you will get over it. I'll go as far to say that your ex is probably kicking herself for screwing up so bad. Take solace in that fact and just move on. The best revenge is living well and moving on from toxic people. Sometimes you have to fake it but you'll get there. Soon enough, she'll just be another faded memory and you'll wonder why you even gave her so much thought. Good luck!
2007-02-11 22:20:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude all i can say is that u need some therapy. I agree with the second poster VirtualElvis. Keep on dreaming in your fantasies at night. How can u been in love with someone uve never met before. Theres plenty of girls out there whos way more prettier than Paris Hilton. I dont know This PJ Harvey. Therapy may help u get get your mind back sane.
2016-05-24 00:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, it really sounds like you love the girl you're with now but that you keep thinking about your ex because of what she did to you. It seems like you haven't really forgiven her for it, and now you're just curious and want to know how she's doing now after having cheated on you... you like every other person who's been cheated on just wants to know whether or not they feel any real remorse.
It'll probably drive you crazy if you don't talk to someone, and that someone should be your girlfriend of now, because if you don't share something that's been bothering you like this for so long with her then you're risking the relationship you have now. Be brave, talk to her, tell her how you feel and listen to what she suggests you do.
2007-02-11 22:34:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you kinda answered your own question. its all about closure. i know where youre coming from, i too went through something similar and am now completely in love with my girl, my ex on the other hand means nothing to me because i was able to get the closure i needed. as bad as it sounds i made her feel like crap for what she did and now that she wants me back i got the upper hand. closure is all you need, dont think about the wh*re that broke your heart, think about the girl you love now, loves you and has more to offer you. good luck man.
2007-02-11 22:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by joeyschmoeytx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are still obssessed with the fact that she cheated on you. It could be that she hurt your feelings and disappointed you, and that's why she will always be remembered. Don't confuse your feelings for her and pay more attention to your current faithful girlfriend who definitely deserves the best from you. You know how it felt when you were cheated on, so don't make someone else (who loves and cares about you) feel the same. Good luck!
2007-02-11 22:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by broken 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is it that she did to you or you did to her and which makes you not forgetting her? Do it with your current gf, as simple as that!
All the best!
2007-02-11 22:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by Ebby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear ...forget the past...you have to forget her for the sake of your well being, especially if you want a healthy relationship with your present gf...other wise ..its up to you.
2007-02-11 22:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by 2bros 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ask one out then rate the date. then you ask the other one out and rate it. the better one is the best person for u.
2007-02-11 22:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, you surely are. Good Luck with this one.
2007-02-11 22:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by <3Aja*Marissa*Ashley<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋