my son is going to be 4 this june.i had stopped breast feeding him by quarter to three yrs.but still he is?

Question

fasinated to touch my breast and say "mama pappa(milk)").At night or evn on days he love to touch me,but i feel irritaed when he touch,still i don't shout at him.is it good,should i allow this.how can avoid this habit.and that too his dad and himself puts shoo shoo( urinate) sometimes together.is it nice to allow my son in toilets with his dad together.sometime he wants to bath with us also.is it good that i can change my dress in frot of him.after how many year should i change this habit?am i leading the son in a a proper way.pls advise.

Answer 1

I commend you for allowing your son to breast feed for so long! Unfortunately, Americans have been conditioned to think breast feeding should only be for the first 6-12 months of the baby's life. I think it's wrong and pretty pathetic that my own people think something so natural is so taboo even in 2007.

I was breastfed until I was 3 1/2 years old and I'm now 22 and I'm thankful that my mother didn't shun me away just because other people thought it was "wrong." Considering the world wide average for breast feeding is between 6 and 7 years old, it is my hope that you do not question your actions or decisions based upon people who may give your situation a negative stigma.

Ultimately, if you are finally to the point where you no longer feel comfortable breast feeding your son, then that's your cue to call it quits. My mother said she felt the same way one day and knew it was time to call it quits... she did so by taking a drop of Tabasco sauce and putting one drop on each of her nipples. My mother said that one day I went to nurse and got about 10 feet from her and shuttered from the stench of the Tabasco and ran away! She said I never tried to nurse after that. So give it a try and see if it helps you.

Now when it comes to him reaching and touching your breasts, that behavior again, is normal. He is only 4-years-old and doesn't understand that breasts are seen in other ways besides a food source! He's also at an age where he's starting to see that women have certain things that men don't and vice versa. It's okay and again, perfectly normal. If you are uncomfortable with it, then you just need sit down on his level so that you're eye-to-eye with him and calmly explain to him that he's not in trouble for touching your breasts, but that you'd like it if he stops. I'm sure he's been playing with another child before and the child pushed him or pulled on him. Ask him how he felt when the child did that. I'm sure he'll say he didn't like it. Use that as your grounds for argument. Tell him that that is how you feel; that you do not like it when he does it and that he needs to respect people when they says "hands off." I'm sure there will be a time or two shortly after where he will forget and go to grab/touch your breasts. Just softly push his hand away and remind him that he does not need to touch you there. Don't worry, he'll get understand soon enough.

As far as the other part of your question, if I'm understanding it correctly, you're asking if it's okay that your son and his father go to the bathroom together... again, some people want to stigmatize the natural way of things. I think it's perfectly acceptable for your son and his father to partake in such events. Because your son is obviously a male, he will benefit from learning how to use the bathroom from someone who shares the same anatomy. That doesn't mean that you cannot teach him, I'm just saying it helps young children by identifying with something/someone that is the same.

Now as far as the bathing situation goes, I think that considering his age, it's time that he learns to bathe on his own without Mommy or Daddy physically being in the bath with him.

You mentioned changing clothes in front of him... I think that any responsible parent should always teach their children to be okay with their natural body. With that being said, your son needs to be told and needs to know that if he needs to be naked for any reason (bath time, changing his clothes, doctor appointments, etc) that he should only do so if Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, etc is around. He's at an age now that he will understand if you tell him the truth. Just make sure he knows that if anyone other than you or his dad for some reason asks him to undress, that he does NOT have to and that it's not okay to be naked around people who aren't family. *sigh* It's so difficult to explain this in text, but I'm sure you get the idea of what I'm saying, or at least I hope so!

Despite the fact that so many people have come to look down upon a natural lifestyle, often assuming that anyone who would subject their children to such a thing must be a horrible monster is simply NOT true and have a lot of learning to do... what you have created and given to your son beats the hell out of growing up thinking that anything dealing with the body must be bad.

I applaud you.

Answer 2

No, not yet at least. Try finding other solutions first... For starters it's only 11 days so you haven't had a chance to settle the routine in yet and this needs time... If you feel like your neglecting your daughter (I presume your not really, but feel like your not up to your usual reading 3 books before an afternoon nap etc, in which case try and find a family member, partner or some solution for her to get one on one time somewhere) Go to your local breastfeeding association or such. There maybe other solutions such as breast pumps so you can have someone else (a mum, a sister, a partner) feed the bub, but bub is getting breast milk.

Answer 3

I'm not a baby expert but I think at his very young age, and since it hasn't been very long yet since his last breast feed, it's normal for him to adjust quite long, because he's still a baby, and isn't aware of things like that, especially malice. I think it's good that someone like like his dad--with same gender--to set as an example for your son. Maybe teach him the basics for a while, then later, let him do the potty alone. I think it's a the proper age for him not to see you undress more often. I think it's time for him to learn few boy ways. I think it's the right peak. It takes a long time and patience for your child to develop. Sometimes it's hard not to give your child what he wants but there are things that should be trained at an early age. Maybe simple things for a growing toddler. Hope in a way I helped! Good luck!

Answer 4

This is quite normal. When he goes to touch your breast then just tell him that he doesnt need it anymore. My daughter on occasion still trys to breastfeed (she is 4 as well), when she is sick or really tired and upset. I just tell her she is a big girl now and doesnt need boobie (our word for breastfeeding) anymore. Then I move her hands away from my chest. And we have a cuddle making sure her head ISNT near my breast and I hold her hand. He will eventually stop when he realises that it isnt appropriate to touch people there. I have also taught my daughter that its now inapropriate as she is to big. But they dont see it as inapropriate yet as to them it has been a source of food and comfort for so long.

Its fine to let him go to the toilet with his father. That is quite normal. I think most little kids follow their parents into the toilet to watch and learn or just bug them. Mine do.
Whether you bathe with him is up to you. I personally don feel comfortable bathing with my girls anymore and havent since they were toddlers. As they are now aware of their bodies and mine.
If they walk in while I am getting dressed or having a shower I dont mind, they dont really see nudity the way we do. they will just laugh and tease me if they see my bottom.
Although they are starting to be aware of it more now. And the inapropriatness of it in certain situations. In summer some men dont wear shirts and my girls will say really loudly " look Mum he is naked, why is he naked?" and so I have to explain that it is alright for men to wear pants without tops but not women as women have breasts.

If you dont feel comfortable with how you are raising him. Then you need to stop. He is old enough to understand the word No, and an explanation as to why he cant or you cant do certain things anymore. But in language he can understand. As in he is a big boy and can have a bath by himself. Try making it speacial by adding a few drops of food colouring in his favorite colour or buying him a new bath toy.

Answer 5

i dont wanna sound rude! but you should of stopped breastfeeding him when he was like 6months or soo! but how to handle the situation! hmm...i would tell him hes a BIG boy now! and doesnt need to be touchin mommy in those places! and explain to him..that is how mommy's feed their babies! and you a big boy now and can eat grown up food! and tell him mommy rain out of milk...but say "if you want milk!..ill fill your sippy cup with grownup milk" and have him watch you poor the milk from the container into his sippy cup! and i would work with him like that! and every time he trys to touch you! use the same words and eventually he will get it! good luck i hope this helps you!

Answer 6

maybe try redirecting him when he reaches for breasts, tell him milks all gone, how about a hug instead. i think its wonderful you nursed him so long. i would allow my son to bathe with his father, or be in the bathroom with him, but i personally would no be comfortable bathing with my opposite sex child

Answer 7

come on, i feel u r overreacting to this... he is just a kid, and as he grows up a little he himself will start feeling shame to touch u, so what if he goes to do shoo with his dad..

dont treat him as if he is grown too big to understand everything, just be cool and enjoy your child's momemt

Answer 8

you should have stopped breastfeeding him a long time before you did. Thats prob. why he keeps touching you, he has been use to it for 3 years.