I somehow cannot seem to keep a boyfriend especially when it comes to comprimising I fail miserably....I understand that there should be some compromising cause of the differences and stuff but when do you draw the line or should you draw the line is it okay to lose your own self in a relationship just to keep it going??? Please guys help
2007-02-11 21:09:05 · 9 answers · asked by Nokuthula 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are not willing to ALWAYS compromise you will never keep a man. With men it's born in them to want to take charge and lead. But at the same time a man has to be willing to listen to her. If you don't have a loving relationship one pulling opposite of the other you will never make it. If you really love the man you will not mind being submissive to him. That is why you have a problem with compromise you haven't been in love yet. Once this happens you will not mind compromise or being submissive.
2007-02-11 21:23:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on what you define as something that should/can/would be compromised.
Little things; such as the way he chews with his mouth open, or likes watching a certain tv show or something, can be worked with.
I'd say if a guy acts in a total disrespectable, dishonorable, rude, insensitive, completely inconsiderate (and some more related adjectives) manner, then that's not nice. If something doesn't feel right to you in the relationship, don't do it. (In relationships, our instincts are more powerful than we know.) And as always, if you feel something of a compromising issue is up, let him know. Communicate. It's a little scary for these situations, but somehow get the courage to speak and SPEAK UP.
If you find it difficult to get along with a guy; i.e. he does not want to communicate, or refuses to compromise even a little no matter your sacrifices, then I'd say that those are red flags. Relationships should be equal. You give AND receive.
Of course, make sure you and him have enough ingredients to be compatible with. And know what your goals are for a relationship. Is your goal to only keep a steady boyfriend (no matter how much you feel you are compromising and not getting anything back)? Or to keep a steady boyfriend AND feel good about yourself and your compromises? [And yes, both are possible. :).]
The more things you find you have to compromise, the less you will likely enjoy things. The less things you find might (but not always) be a better sign. That and/or equal compromises.
From personal experience, I compromised for things that did NOT feel right to me. I did not feel good for it then. And I still do not feel good about my past actions. When you've been untrue to yourself, you really do lose a little bit of yourself. And it sucks. If I got the chance to go back, I would change my actions.
Be good to yourself. Find someone who treats you equally. Find someone who enhances your sense of self, rather than makes you feel like you're losing your self. Don't settle for anything less than that.
Be yourself. Be true to yourself. Always.
Hope that helps. :).
2007-02-11 21:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by lostlittlegirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The basic rules of compromise is to not go against your beliefs, never do what you normally wouldnt if you were in a situation, dont be enticed by trying to impress someone being who youre not. When something feels like you will be ashamed should your loved ones find out its compromising too much. Always try to meet someone halfway on compromise, it helps keep a relationship healthy when you can effectively communicate.
2007-02-11 21:15:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should never have to lose yourself to keep a relationship alive because then you wont be you and if you cant be yourself then your whole relationship will just be a lie we all have to bend a little to make allowances for each others differences time is a big factor in any relationship turn off those games and computers in separate places for at least half an hour and talk to one and other if your relationship is worth working at you should be able to talk about anything together and listen to each other never ever compromise who you are for anyone because you are a unique and special individual you are you
2007-02-11 21:25:22 · answer #4 · answered by norma jean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o why should you compromise and by the sound of it you,ve already compromised alot. why cant men consider their womans feelings when decision making instead of giving us issues to deal with. compromise is a good thing when both man and woman get to compromise in equal proportions, best of luck mwah
2007-02-11 21:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To keep a relationship going you do make adjustments,but to a certain extent.To go overboard in compromising is not right.And it should be from both the sides.
2007-02-11 21:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by ANU U 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop, when you realise you are about to compromise your own well being and self you should stop and take a breather. Trust me I went through all this...never sacrifice more than you can afford to...never put your identity, your self worth and your love in such a position...it will only be doomed...speak to him..he dont listen, you know...if he loves you, he will sit and you two will work it out...
2007-02-11 21:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by supasonic 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u got to learn to compromise but not fully. Dont let him have too much control though.
2007-02-11 21:16:29 · answer #8 · answered by jimmykicksasses81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
compromise help us long life
2007-02-11 21:13:09 · answer #9 · answered by keral 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋