son (3 1/2) starts hitting me ..doesnt yield to anything.....hugging or scolding...but i dont want to hit him back..though i have tried and end up feeling miserably bad.....
(i am a full time working mother ..tryng to spend some good time with him..but we most of the time end up with hitting each other and then crying!!!.)help...i am feeling very bad...
2007-02-11 21:06:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
What is this "time-out"
2007-02-11 21:28:15 · update #1
He needs conditioning. Start off with time outs, it wont be easy and will take time. Your efforts now will save u in the future. Read some good books or go on-line and do some research on the topic.
2007-02-11 21:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has this been going on? If he has developed a habit, then it is going to take a while to break. You will have to be determined and not back down. Also, if he's in daycare, you're going to need to find out what's going on there that might be aggravating this and get their help to stop it.
As for what kind of system to use to stop the behavior, there are LOADS of different ideas out there. I personally, would grab his hand when he tries to hit me, tell him that hitting people is not acceptable behavior and give him a three-minute time out. Then afterwards, I would show him that I still loved him with a hug and/or kiss and then move on, not dwell on the subject. At first, he will fight this 100%. But if you are firm without getting angry or yelling and stick to your guns, he will accept the limits you are setting.
Remember, children want a parent to set limits! But they will test them on a regular basis to make sure the limits are still there. What ever you decide to do, be consistent and don't get angry/upset.
2007-02-11 21:14:18 · answer #2 · answered by Raising6Ducklings! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The time out and explanation of why they were in there is the best solution that I know of...however, harsh though it may sound, I would go easy with the kisses and hugs afterwards. A very good friend of mine with a two year old (who was seriously hurting her and other kids at the time) was using this method with no results at all...it took her about a month to figure out that sure, he was on his own for 2 minutes after he smacked her round the head with a toy truck, but as soon as he got out he got lots of kisses and hugs. It still took a little while, but he did get a LOT better once she cut right down on the affection after the incident.
2007-02-11 22:10:12 · answer #3 · answered by ofamarigold 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get up and walk away. Go to your room, just for a few minutes, with the door closed and tell him that until he stops hitting, you won't be out to play with him. I found that this works better than a timeout for him because you are taking yourself out, punishing him, but not punishing AT him. Hopefully he'll connect the 2 things together & stop hitting. Then, come out of the room & when he is nice, compliment him on how good he is being & that your enjoying your time together.
2007-02-11 21:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by pritigrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend time playing with him but as soon as he hits you, get up and go do something else. Show him that hitting making him lose something he wants. I agree with you about not hitting or spanking. I don't know if a 3 year-old's cognitive function is developed enough to understand the double standard, but it's pretty obvious that telling him not to hit and then hitting him as punishment sends a conflicting message.
2007-02-11 21:13:44 · answer #5 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a daughter that age who does the same thing. one min. shes the sweetest ever and the next shes throwing a temper tantrum. well she is getting better somewhat as she gets older and shes starting to realize how much more fun we have togeather when we get along. I think lots of kids go through this stage. I just take away whatever is causing the tantrum. once i even went as far as bagging up all of her toys and taking them to the storage, when she wouldnt pick her room up. this worked out nice because every time she was good she got one of her toys back. If your planning to go someplace fun and he throws a fit. just say ok then we will stay home if you dont start acting nice. stick to your guns. if you threaten him then follow through even if it means going to extreams. that way he knows you mean business.
Time out is putting your child in a quiet place usually 1 min for each year of age to give them time to think about why your angry. this works for some kids but some just keep getting out and get even angrier. It all depends on the child It worked great with my sons but my daughters tantrums are more intense.
2007-02-11 21:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
right....
time out is putting them in a secure room with NO toys in it for 1 minute for every year of there life, i.e a 3yr old would be "timed out" for 3 minutes..... you shut and hold the door and say NOTHING, do not communicate while they are in time out, once the "time" is up open the door, and say you were timed out because of "this" behaviour, make sure they are completly calm before taking them out of the room, if they are not then repeat the time out immediatly until they are calm.. ( i did this with my boy 6 times in a row on his first couple time outs!!)
once they are calm, explain again why they were timed out, do not get into a discussion about it, just explain the behaviour will not be tolerated, then give a hug and continue with your day forgetting the situation has just happened.... you MUST be constistant with the time outs tho, EVERY time he does the behaviour you wish to stop, time him out, he will quickly learn as time out takes away ALL attention and that is what they crave most at the end of the day!
2007-02-11 21:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by merrpet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to start putting him in time out, generally one minute for every year he is old. At first he may just get right up but keep putting him back in time out until he completes his 3 minutes. the most important thing is to do it EVERY time he hits. If you make it okay sometimes he will never learn. its hard at first because it will seem like he is always in time out and your SO tired of doing it but trust me it will pay off
2007-02-11 21:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by gianna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly i don't think of it is ideal to pit a guy hostile to a lady in those type of fights. it is carefully mismatched because in the adventure that they have got the right practise the guy ought to possibly overpower a lady of an similar calibre. If I were a guy, i'd have a troublesome time even drawing near a lady to wrestle her in an MMA tournament. hostile to my morals. i does no longer unload my boyfriend. era. i'm with him til the top frequently in all fairness. That female grow to be dumb and the guy for sure did not understand the thanks to dam or he wasn't waiting (no longer justifying or making excuses the following). and also you not in any respect gave us his top and weight. For all all of us understand he would were 5'11 (your top) and 185 pounds. and also you admitted your self that you're more beneficial experienced. There you bypass. It has to do with ability aspect, and also you've were given more beneficial of it.
2016-12-04 01:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a "time out" is when you put the child in a corner or make them sit at the table quietly for a certain amount of time
2007-02-11 21:37:43 · answer #10 · answered by Okay.... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋