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I feel like my bf dont care about how I feel, and I feel kind of used. For example my bf need a knew cell and (to fill you in he is working and I am not) I was about to do it it cost only $30 but when we went to the cell phone place he said "Buy me my dame phone". That to me was disrespectful and I said no. Then later on that night we are at a diner and I am calling his name about over 4 times and he doesn't answer me and then finally he says to wait. I felt very hurt and by that time fed up. He always do that but when I dont answer him its a huge problem for him.At one point I was working and helping him out and he ran my credit card bill up to about $2000. Now he is working and I am not and he cant even take care of himself but gets upset when i dont want to buy him something or when i bring up money. I feel i have a right to bring up money since he hasnt paid me back, but I brought it upon myself and I dont know what to do.

2007-02-11 19:48:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

18 answers

Leave. This behavior is abusive and will only get worse. You're not working and he expects you to pay for his cell phone. Cut your loses and move on. He is very disrespectful to you and he doesn't care about your feelings. Please, just walk away from this. Life is to short to tolerate such behavior. Best wishes and take care.

2007-02-11 19:55:22 · answer #1 · answered by raintigar 3 · 1 0

You are not only unhappy, but you are leading into a very depressing situation for yourself, because this relationship does not sound right at all. Thank your stars that you are not married to this person. Not that if you are married, you cant do anything about it, but then you still have time to quit. Simply quit.

I had someone like this in my life, long ago, who just go on and on and on with something or the other where I would just naively pay off, thinking that it would help him, and probably he would love me more. That was the age, and ofcourse foolishness, but trust me, it got me into a very bad depression. Your self worth is lost, and you are being ''used''. Yes that is the right word.

I think its high time you take steps on curtailing this sort of a relationship. If you dont now, you will slowly fall into a situation where you cant get back. I knwo it will hurt. It will hurt and drain you a lot, but it will be worth the try. Start by slowly turning down his invitations. Whatever money you have immediately deposit it into your account, or leave it with someone you absolutely trust, and whenever he asks you for money, simply say you dont have any right now, keep giving excuses until he comes up with his true colors, and what I assume for such a person is, that he wouldnt mind getting it anyway out of you, because he is so damn used to getting everything from you. So do it slowly, start doing things for yourself, start involving yourself with positive people, because while you are turning him down, you should be prepared that you are actually quitting from this relationship. So prepare yourself. Never never keep too much of money in your hand. Start showing him indirectly that you cannot go on with this...and slowly move away from this whole mess. Wait, and watch. See if he apologizes, or see if he spends money on you...which I think would be unlikely, but then you could give it a benefit of doubt.....still, get out while you can, cos' its a trap. Such people are egoistic, get what they want, and never do anything on their own, or even take care of you. And I am sure you dont want that.....

good luck, and stay safe....change your life, and a start a brand new one...everything will be alright, iam sure.

2007-02-12 04:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by arya 5 · 0 0

Well sweetie I think the best thing for you to do is loose him, cause he's never going to change. A women shouldn't be treated like a dog, they should be treated like a angle. So for any man to disrespect you like that doesn't deserve a girl like you. Honey don't blame your self for the way he is, if he really cared about you then he wouldn't get pissed off at you for stupid ****, you see girls don't stop and think about the things they really do deserve so they settle for the next best thing, which usually is a asshole from hell. Don't ever settle for something less than what you know you should have. If you stay with this guy your going to be unhappy for life and it might even end up messy and painful. But you will know the right choice to make once you look deep down insde your heart and think about what's more important for you and the other people that care about you.

2007-02-12 03:58:19 · answer #3 · answered by Elizabeth C 2 · 0 0

You need to run, not walk, away from this relationship. Your so called boyfriend is rude, mean, and does not have an ounce of respect for you. He is only using you. See if you can get any of the money out of him for the credit card. If it will embarrass him into paying, go to his mother or his job and see if that helps. If you get something out of him, great. If you can't, chalk it up as an expensive but well learned lesson. Then go find a gentleman who will treat you with dignity and respect. Good luck and God Bless.

2007-02-12 03:58:48 · answer #4 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0 0

Darl i think it is time to cut your losses and run to the hills, this guy is a sponge, he may have a job but he is a bludger he will continue to do so, forget the money he owes you, you will never get it back, move in with your family of friends until you get a job and some money to afford your own place or even just kick him out, what ever you do get rid of him, he is not right for you he hurts you by playing games with your head and your money he aint worth the poo in the toilet even. kick him to the curb. Good luck hope it works out for the best

2007-02-12 03:56:09 · answer #5 · answered by innocentkitty2006 2 · 1 0

You didnt bring this apon yourself, but be reall with him tell him exactly what you dont like that you feel disrespected and hurt. Tell him what kind of a man you need him to be. Give it some time tell him that you want to be with him but if he cant do these things for you and you really want them then you will find someone else to do it for you he isnt irriplaceable. If things dont change over some time then talk to him again. if you dont give up on him. Eventually he will open his eyes hopefully you will still be there. If a lot of time goes by and nothing changes then you should really think about you and if you can make yourself be happy. But your not hurting anyone but yourself. This worked for my husband of course things werent like that but there were ways i felt disrespected and i was honest and upfront with him and when he didnt listen i started yelling and it took some time and alot of yelling but eventally he heard me. At first he said your talking out of your *** and in some female code but he started to listen really listen not hear me listen to me and realized i wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with me i just needed him to do a few things for me. And he did because he loves me and after that we ended up getting married and now we have a growing family. Two boy and another baby on the way. So good luck to you and hopefully this will work for you like it worked for me. If not i hope you find that guy that is goint to respect you, love you and pay attention to you, put focus on you. Cause thats what all of us need.

2007-02-12 04:02:52 · answer #6 · answered by Kelsie R 2 · 0 0

my best advice is that you need to dumb him, because he doesn't love you he just is using you so do not make that mistake. In the 90's I had a boyfriend like that and I paid for everything rent, bills and food and he got lots of money from me, treated me liked **** finally I broke it off and tell this day he is the same at 36 years old a lop so please don't stay with him any longer so he will bring you down

2007-02-12 03:58:31 · answer #7 · answered by Dawn S 2 · 0 0

Have you sat him down and told him how you feel? If not I think that's what you should do, if he doesn't take it seriously then maybe it's time to move on; or tell him that you want to work things out but he's not willing to take you serious and change his ways; so you want a break and maybe that'll be enough of a wake up call for him to get his act together and change. I hope whatever happens your happy. Goodluck! :-)

2007-02-12 03:53:41 · answer #8 · answered by evolutiondamngood 2 · 0 0

You are much more responsible with money, your boyfriend isn't. Unless he changes his ways, you are going to have a hard time. Also note that, for him to be irresponsible with money is one thing, but for him to be disrespectful of you is another. Are you sure you want to still be with this guy?

If he repents and want to change his ways, then I'm all for you sticking by him. But if he does not even have the basic respect for you, then that is not good enough.

2007-02-12 03:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by Lilliana 5 · 1 0

Man, exit while the getting's good. I don't forsee your relationship turning out any better. Are you just sticking around because he has money now and you don't? Learn from your mistakes and don't let this happen again. It'll only get worse.

2007-02-12 03:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by hiclaude 3 · 2 0

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