what am i feeling?

Question

i cant live eny more every thing in my life was become a nightmare. i almost died a month n a half ago and every since then i feel like im dead. nothing feels real eny more im severly depressed and have panic attacks 3 to 4 times a day along with enxiety attacks it feels like my rib cage is crushing me. i cant work or think i have to control this day to day so i dont get fired or freak out my freinds. some times i just flip out and cry and feel like i cant breath and need to run out side and keep running to nower. i used to be happy and love life now my life is a nightmare with no sleep. i dont even injoy eny thing eny more. no one knows about this i even broke up with my girl becouse i was afreid of making her weiry. im scarde 24/7 for no reason. i dont know what the hell is wrong with me eny more i just wana be my self again

Answer 1

As a licensed psychologist, I'd like to look into this near death experience and directly prior to "almost" happening, did fear race through your body? I really do not want to say anything because I don't know you, your mindset, what is going on right now, this minute.

One thing you may think about is calling a crisis hot line. You can remain anonymous and a trained person can help you get through at least right now. Call as often as you need to because it should be free. Ours is here where I live.

NOW: As a person who has been clinically dead twice (medical reasons), the let down of continued life; to "come back" and see how awful things are here is extremely difficult to gain a perspective with a person who has never had anything happen to them. For the first time in over 40 years I had no pain, no cares, no worries and was extremely comfortable (I'm 41 right now). I was the happiest I've ever been. No tunnel, No immediate big bright light. A grey plain full of fog was my deal. My dead Grandpa told me I had not completed my purpose down here and I had to go back. I wanted to hug my dog. I begged with Grandpa not to go back and did he know the physical pain I was in "down there." I ended up 'thumping' back to my own body, hearing a trauma doc say, "Here she comes," and me waking up and thinking, "Awe effenheimer." I still have things to do, I guess. I don't know what it is, but I do and I trust that.

I have a whole different perspective on things that so many other people do not possess. It's weird and sometimes I feel like an outcast...but are not we all in some way?

It could be possible that you did momentarily die and do not remember.

Call the crisis center, please. It's like talking to a bartender who has a confidentiality contract with you. The counselor should never judge you or how you feel, but rather accept you as you are right then and there. This counselor may have other numbers for you to call and support groups in your area might even exist. Sliding scale psychologists are available here but I do not know about where you live. These sliding scale clinics offer help on the basis of income. The less you income, the less they charge for the visit. A crisis person should be able to point you in the right direction for this and it is even still possible to have a shrink come out to see you. Yes, house calls.

If you are fearful of another thinking that you are a 'nut case' it is rather difficult, but please do not judge others, either. They have no idea of what you have really experienced and I doubt it will be easy to verbalize to another person.

I love to sing and music has always been a big part of my life. I got out of the house by singing a song of some sort and getting myself so into it that I could leave the house like I could prior to dying.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. You are reacting to an emotionally stressful time in your life and dealing with it any way that your physical brain will allow. Brain wants body to be safe. Body does not feel safe when you get in the general vicinity of the occurrence in question. To keep body safe, brain tells body to"freak out." The brain shoves loads of adrenaline into your body, brings back the same emotional feelings you had during the original occurrence, shoves out tons of hormones that ends up bringing out the sadness, anxiety and other similar emotions of the original near-death experience.

You will be yourself again, but in growing and experiencing, a part of you will change as a direct behavioral response to "learning." You might be able to handle stressful situations better than previously...many different outcomes could happen, okay?

For now, please at least speak to a crisis counselor. I do wish you the best and I'm around,

Answer 2

Well if you almost died a month and a half ago , that could really have something to do with it. You are kind of waiting for something like that to happen again, and that is scarying the hell out of you. And that is ok , cause it would scare the Hel* out of most people. So now you can not sleep or be around people anymore, and you gave up your girlfriend, cause deep down you were afraid that she would not only see you this scared, but also, that someday you may have that again, and just die. Now you are afraid to even keep on living or go and talk to a therapist about it, plus you are getting the attaacks more and more cause you are scared, so you really need to go and see your therapist, and work through this, cause until you do you are just going to keep getting worse, and you will be adding to your life phobia's that you do not need to have to deal with. So before you end up justlocking youself away in your room, and not seeing anyone, well go and see your therapist, and talk about that time when you almost died, and how it has made you feel ever since, get it worked out, so you do not have to give up the things, and the people that you love. Cause that is not a good way to have to live.

Answer 3

I would examine why you almost died. What happened? Were you in an auto accident? Did you have a medical problem? There are two things you need to do(not necessarily in this order)talk to a Psychologist,or a councelor of some kind. They might be able to help you straighten out what you are feeling and what you have been going through. It sounds like you have had some kind of major trauma. Second, and most important, talk to God about this, in the name of His Son Jesus Christ. There is nothing God hasn't heard before, or doesn't know about and He WILL be ablt to help you. He knows you inside and out and knows what the problem is and if you give your life over to Him He will help you and give you PEACE. A peace which surpasses all understanding. Listen, I just went through two years of cancer treatment. I believed God would help me and get me through everything and It amazed the Doctor who was treating me how well I came through.treatment and how well I reacted to it. He said I was in about the top three percent of patients who had receive the same treatment. This is not a fluck. This is real and I am around today because I know God got me through this and He will you too. Believe me, I know this. He has more time and resources then you and I together will ever have and He will get you through this. Trust Him. I'll be praying for you. You mean the world to God. He sent His Son Jesus to die for you and brought Him back from the dead so you won't have to die. Hang in there and let me know how you are and how things are going, okay?

Answer 4

Go talk to your doctor about putting you on some medicine. He may refer you to someone else and if they do be sure to take your medication so you can be happy again. I did not think that my panic attracts were that bad until i experienced a really bad one. If your medicine is time released then take it as prescribed. I hope you feel better soon. I have experienced near death experiences but i intend to get well. You need to eat right as well. Tell them you have problems sleeping . Once you get your panic attacks under control you should get back to getting more rest. Even your love life should improve. You may need some counseling-only you know that. Reading some self help books may help. Go see your doctor real soon. You can get help. Good Luck. Make an appointment today and tell them that you need to be seen soon as possible since this seems to be an emergency. It is no fun to feel this way but you can feel better.

Answer 5

It sounds like you have some kind of panic or traumatic stress disorder. It is almost certainly compounded by lack of sleep. There are some really good medications on the market that will be able to help you, so please see a doctor ASAP. In the meantime, if you are having thoughts of suicide, call your local suicide hotline (usually listed in the front of your phone book) and talk to someone. I know that it may be difficult for you to see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but this will pass and things will get better.

Answer 6

Anxiety of life is the answer. I'm not sure how old u r because you didnt say but it seems like pressures of everything you once felt and tried to push away or ignore are just building up and now you've exploded. Breaking up with your girlfriend probably brought extra stress into the whole situation because now you really have no one to talk to. As far as the whole dieing thing i know what thats like you feel like everything in the world isn't real or like everything you do is for nothing and nothing ever makes sense like it used to. I think alot of people feel like that in a point in their life and just never express it and end up breaking down permanently. I do think its good that you're talking even if its on here because just by doing that you're letting even a little piece of that stress go. I cry alot to it helps with the stress in life and i try to listen to music and scream along to it or write stuff down. And your friends ...if you tell them how you feel you feel like they will think you've lost it or act differently maybe just try to tell them a little of whats going on whether its work or family or just life itself and if they are your true friends im sure they will be there. Well i hope this helps cause ive been there and sometimes i feel like that here and there it takes time and although it sounds ridiculous it will get better maybe not 100% at first but hey even 10% will get you back on the boat and starting to feel like you again. Well I hope this helps and if not hey go to a strip club and get drunk (not excessively just one night) lol P.S. hope you get your feet back on the ground and by the way i wrote a poem so to speak when i felt like how you do now if you want i can send it to you and you'll see your not alone. Just take life one step at a time and one breath at a time ...and when everyone looks at you like your crazy tell them to shove it ;)

Answer 7

You didn't mention how you almost died, but it is important that you find someone to help you. If there is anyone that you trust in completely, tell them what's happening and ask them to stay close til you can make better arrangements. By that I mean getting into counseling, seeing a priest(Rabbi, whatever), or even calling a hotline.
I used to work on a hotline and I know that it is important for you to trust the people that love you, not to distance them. They will help you if you can let them...I know it's hard to feel safe...but people care about what happens to you.

Answer 8

Try seeing a doctor, that might be what you need. If you almost dies then i am sure your body is going through hell as is your mind. You need someone objective to talk to and i think a doctor is just the ticket. Good luck to you!

Answer 9

See a doctor. A professional. Use all the money you can if you want all the help you can get. This is not natural. As my father and aunt a doctor, I know what I am talking about. See a doctor as soon as possible.

Answer 10

The best thing to do is to talk someone that you trust, you should talk to a family member (maybe a sibiling or a parent), and if you can't talk to one of them, try and talk to a trustworthy friend (hey, thats what they are there for, right?) - if you can't talk to your friends, they aren't really friends.

Something isn't right, and don't worry - it's not your fault. Try and get some rest, talk to somebody, and try to get life back to normal. If you can't find anyone, ask to speak to a doctor.