You talk and chat and coverse on the phone for a long time, you feel safe and comfortable with this person, do you think it would be safe to meet real time? in person? It kind of scares me because I read alot of true crime books I am addicted to them,I scare myself half to death with all those murder stories.My sister says the odds of ending up beaten raped and murdered by a man you meet on line are a million to one. what do yall think? Would you meet a stranger and be alone with them?
2007-02-11 18:25:35 · 26 answers · asked by sandra b 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been on both sides .... stalked by one guy, but later married another. I also got the wits scared out of me when my daughter met a man online without telling me (she was 18).
So, here are my suggestions:
1) really spend some time online first ... and if you get ANY red flags, don't dismiss them, take note of them, and consult with some objective friends.
2) The first few times, meet the person in a public place WITH A FRIEND, use the friends car, and meet on opposite end of a mall, say, than where you parked.
3) Ask you friend/s what they think when they have met him.
4) Always let someone know what you are doing and where you are at. Have them call you on your cell phone to check on you.
5) Until you are sure of the person, never go anywhere in his car.
6) Don't meet men (or women) indiscriminately ... only meet in person someone with whom you are really feeling a strong connection with over the course of 6-12 months.
7) ALWAYS listen to your "gut" about a person or situation.
8) If the person has a problem with the safeguards you are taking, then drop him!
2007-02-11 18:28:44 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day you will have to rely on your own judgement whether you think you're dealing with a decent person or a psycho nutter. It is a lot easier to figure that out face-to-face than online.
There are plenty of dos and don'ts you should observe.
DON'T give out personal info on line to someone you've never seen face to face. Do not reveal details like exactly where you live, your phone number(s), where you go to school or work. Don't even give your surname.
DO meet up somewhere public and busy (in case you need to shout for help). Like a cafe or the library. DON'T agree to meet anywhere isolated. DON'T agree to go anywhere isolated with the online person until after a few meetings.
DO bring a good friend to the meeting so they can tell you what they think, too.
DO Tell other people where you are going and who you think you're meeting. If you have any reservations, then show your friends the messages/emails you've had from this other person before meeting them.
DO, If the online-friend has clearly lied to you about anything important -- like their age -- end the friendship. It's not worth it dealing with dishonest people.
Look I know lots of people who have meet, dated and married from meeting online.....the chances of you meeting up with a crazy person is no more than if you meet someone in a bar! Just follow the guidlines and you'll be safe! :-D Goodluck
2007-02-11 18:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be extremely dangerous. If you feel the slight bit uncomfortable meeting with this person, always trust your intuition. Also, you can mention that you have a problem meeting up with new people alone, and if he still tries to push you into coming alone, then you know that this person is no good. Even if the chances are a million to one, why take the risk in being that one? If you really want to meet up with him, suggest that he brings a friend along and you bring a friend along and meet in a public place like a restaurant, movie,etc. DO NOT GO BACK TO HIS OR HIS FRIEND'S PLACE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! Meet like this for a while, until you feel you can trust that person.
2007-02-11 18:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for if it is dangerous YES YES YES it IS
As for meeting someone online I did however I made the person call in bonified references ie a church that I could check with adn then brought along 2 other friends for the date. The date went fine however we found we really were not compatable.
Though I would never do that again as the odds of meeting a creppy sicko too easily happen.
2007-02-11 18:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by ursula_higgs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm in China now and I met my fiance online. I was really hesitant about doing it at first. We had talked for a few days, then he wanted to meet me. I thought about it and prayed about it and then decided to meet him in the daytime at the bus stop near by. I saw him, and he seemed decent enough, so we just took a cab to a coffee house nearby and talked. I would not have met him if I was alone or it was night. That is just dangerous. I mean, there are perverts and rapists who meet people from the internet, but then there are just normal people, like me, who are interested in meeting new people.
So, to answer your question....i would meet a stranger from the internet, but I wouldn't be alone with them. I would go out with them several times before being alone with them...maybe I would wait months to be alone with them.
Of course, I've never met anyone from the internet in America before. Maybe things are different here in China. People are less likely to commit violent crimes here because they'll be put to death if they commit them.
2007-02-11 18:37:35 · answer #5 · answered by H M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it can be quite dangerous to meet an online chat friend, especially men in person. What they project online and in real life is very different. I have personally met a man after chatting with him online for 6 months. He came to visit me in my country and I met him at the hotel lobby. 5 minutes after meeting him, he kept hinting about sleeping with him and trying to get me to go to his hotel room. I refused and told him so. This makes him very angry and he acted very rude and ignore me during dinnertime. Later, I simply told him goodbye and never contacted him again, online or real life!!! If I have knew he was this kind of pervert I would not have met him at all. He gave me a very bad impression of online friendship. If you have to meet him, bring along a friend or tell someone who you are with and where. Just be cautious and alert.
2007-02-11 18:39:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend mostly on your track record...have you been raped or attacked by your previous dates? Have your boyfriends or male authority figures been jealous maniacs or lecherous fiends? You have to be your own critic, whether it's cyberspace or the corner bar...nobody can tell you how to screen people better than yourself, they don't have enough information to go on. Just remember, ask anything, assume nothing; and how dangerous could it possibly be to meet somebody in a public place and talk?
2007-02-11 19:05:00 · answer #7 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's always a risk, but a million-to-one odds sound about right. No different than somebody you'd meet at a bar or at work. When you're alone with one person, you're alone with a million.
2007-02-11 18:27:52 · answer #8 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've talked to him and gotten to know him then meet him. Do it in a public place at first and see how it goes from then. Life is a risk so take the chance. Good Luck!
2007-02-11 18:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether on-line or not, wouldn't the same kind of fear apply? We don't live in a rosey world. As much as society likes to "sugar-coat" things, it just isn't so. I think it really comes down to the vibe you get speaking to whomever, but like anything, it's still a crapshoot. If you dig 'em and he sounds like decent peeps, go git 'em. Just have some mace ready if he gets too frisky. Good luck.
2007-02-11 18:30:58 · answer #10 · answered by Pontius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋