When you meet a man everything is always perfect and nice and wonderful at first! Then before you know it your in deep and you see things you wish you could have seen in the begining, like a bad temper,jealousy exc. Are there signs in the begining? why cant we see them?
2007-02-11 18:19:13 · 11 answers · asked by sandra b 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
why cant we see them - because you've already invested feelings for the man. you should treat him as a friend first. this is the only way you could se his sincerity and realness. don't fall for someone just because he gives you the butterflies in the stomach or whatever, or because he's your type or because he's so unpredictable he's driving you nuts. girls, don't let your emotion take hold of you. if you're going to choose a guy choose someone who knows you inside out, and you know him too. someone who you have seen the best and the worst of, and someone who's seen the best and the worst of you and yet still loves you just the same. i know that's pretty boring and un adventurous, but that's the way lasting love is - not trying to hide your imperfections but letting yourself become a better person inspite of these, and being completely honest from the start - and i think you can only achieve that if you start as friends.
2007-02-11 18:31:11 · answer #1 · answered by J.P. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the pattern. We can't see them because we tend to idealize people in the early stages.
One way around this is to really get to know the person before ANYTHING intimate happens. This is why they always say "strong relationships are built on friendship."
Tempers, jealousy, self-centeredness, etc. are all easily seen if you can understand when YOU are idealizing somebody else. So the best way to see through the initial bliss to the reality of other people is actually to know yourself better. Give some thought to what it is that blinds you in those initial stages and think critically about your own vices.
2007-02-12 02:27:24 · answer #2 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Signs of temper and jealousy-Nah, most men will try to cover this. Watch how he interacts with others though. If he is very dismissal, for one, pay attention to that. That means he wouldnt find it hard to dismiss anything when it comes to you. Dont mistake overpowering for caring or anything. If hes got some damn violent road rage, or maybe hes just a lil bit moody, watch for that. Listen to the type of things he says out of his mouth. Us women, we get so comfy with how the man is treating US, that we forget how the world revolves, and his actions. Watch the mannersism, watch it all. Ask the man questions, unless hes a good liar, and hell sometimes we women cant detect all the lies. Even guys that are TOO clean or have some kind of OCD make me wonder. You have to stop looking at yourself and how he treats YOU, but how he conducts himself in the world daily. That is where you find the true nature of the beast. Good Luck!
2007-02-12 02:30:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person tends to only show who their true colors as time goes by. Initially its just the first impression u get, the true person is behind all that.
but u get the hints if u pay attention to their actions &in what they say. Wait for those hints before u go ahead with a person.
2007-02-12 02:30:10 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be casual, don't act hasty, don't go fast into the relationship. Guard your purse, money, and know where you physically put your belongings. Take note on what and how the person talks and treats you. Many times we only see the handsome face or "wonderful body" and do not want to see the personalility.
2007-02-12 02:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pay attention to how he treats the people in his life, especially the women in his life (including his mom, sisters etc..) if a guy cant treat his family right you cant expect anything better from him. also, when he talks about his ex's pay attention to his additude. a breakup is never totally one persons fault, if he tries to make it seem that he can do no wrong then he's the kind of guy who will try to make it seem like everythings ur fault. of course, it takes time to really find out what kind of a person somone is, but theres minor things like this that can point you in the right direction. good luck.
2007-02-12 02:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by somedude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good way to get to know a guy is to hang out with him when he is with his friends. See what type of people he hangs out with. One big thing that helps you find out what type of guy you are meeting is to look at how he talks to you. If he is looking into your eyes, and paying attention to you, then thats a good sign of a nice guy. If his attention is wandering, then not as good. If his eyes are wandering all over you, then there is a big red flag for you, get out of that situation fast.
2007-02-12 02:28:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We can't see the signs because they cover them up, by trying to impress you and getting to know you. Later on, they start feeling comfortable and acting normal. I don't know if there are signs in the beginning, they just show up later.
2007-02-12 02:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by devilwoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My rule of thumb is never trust a man who doesn't like football - the best advice I was ever given and inevitably turns out to be accurate!
2007-02-12 02:25:16 · answer #9 · answered by toowit2wu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he is not a mamas boy.
2007-02-12 02:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by McDaniel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋