My friend confuses me. He's asked me out and we have gone out a few times - BUT he mentions about his gf once in a while. He's asked me about my guy friends (any potentials, etc) BUT he's never confessed or anything of that sort. He's asked me to move to where he is - he told me how beautiful his whole place is BUT not how he will feel if I am there. He's treated me like a gentleman should (with occasional flirtings) and buys me lunches/dinners/coffees BUT he's still with his gf. Sometimes it does seem as though he's treating me like a friend. Sometimes it doesn't. I have tried asking him but he's done the roundabout version (i.e. being vague). Can I have your views please? Thanks!
2007-02-11 17:24:42 · 19 answers · asked by counterculturalist 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's being to vague for you to move forward. Especailly since he sitll mentions his gf.
It doesn't sound like a good idea. I wouldn't move there because of him, unless you just like the city. If it's meant to be, it'll happen a little later on.
I'd just tell him that you're happy living where you are and don't want to move for a guy. If he's mature, he should understand. I doubt he'd relocate for a girl, unless he knew you both were in love already
2007-02-11 17:33:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are with the case of "I want my cake and eat it too." Your man friend sounds like he's a player,and he wants you and he wants her. My suggestion is stay where you are, do not move to where he is...tell him that you will not sell yourself short by being the other woman. He really needs to figure out what is that is going to make him happy. Once he does that then if you fit in the picture then he can get in touch with you and you will go from there, but don't sell yourself short being his sideline girl. Alot of players are smooth talkers and can treat a woman on the surface as a gentleman would, but in the true picture of things he isn't cause he isn't given you the respect of being honest with you, he just knows how to play the game to get what it he wants. So I again would suggest you stay put, tell him to sort out what it is he is wanting, without beating around the bush, don't settle for being the other lady though. Relationships aren't like cars, you can't have one and see another nicer model and lease it to see how it rides. He needs to be forthright not only with you but with his g/f as well, if it is an exclusive relationship. It would be different if he was not in an exclusive relationship and he was sampling various models so to speak to see which best fits his liking and needs, but when he has singled one out to consider her a g/f then I assuming it is an exclusive and he has no business going out with you. Put yourself in her shoes, and you would agree. If he is doing it to her and you get into a relationship settleing as the other woman chances are he will do the same to you, because you by entering in a relationship knowing you are the other woman are actually by your actions accepting his behavior and telling him this type of behavior is acceptable to you.
2007-02-12 01:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by fleaflopper 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's testing the waters. Any girl stupid enough to move closer to where he lives so that he has easier access to compare her with other choices deserves any heart-ache coming her way. If you're a strong and nasty sort, which I don't think you are, you could insist that he pay for 3 months rent and expenses there while you keep your apartment.
I can't believe it. He is stringing you along, playing you like a violin. Two can be vague, and you can harden your heart against his silly self-serving half-hearted requests that you move closer so you can enjoy more free food, but save yourself the wondering that your question indicates and drop him like a hot potato. He's a roving Romeo on the make.
2007-02-12 01:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by Casperia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's confused. It seems he wants her and you. You need to make it clear that you're not going to be his second choice or fallback girl. Next time he wants to buy you something refuse to allow him and tell him that he needs to do that for his girlfriend and see what he says. Tell him you like hanging out with him, but if people see you together they may get the wrong impression. Make him define the relationship before you get hurt. Good luck.
2007-02-12 01:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He certainly is dishing out mixed signals. Why not just ask him? Communication is everything ... If he is avoiding answering then you know the answer without further probing. Enjoy the friendship and lunches but that's the limit.
2007-02-12 01:29:50 · answer #5 · answered by daffodil 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wants you to move to be where he is--many miles away? No. He has a gf, you need to tell him that this is a time to be blunt honest, no more run-around, what is going on in his head about you? Etc. If that doesn't work-tell him bye. Take care.
2007-02-12 01:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by SAK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think honey he wants his cake and eat to and if you are willing then he will have that is why he is being very vague about it what his intentions are and that he stills has a girlfriend.the best thing i can tell you is to treat him like a friend and only a friend dont give more than he is giving to you.
2007-02-12 01:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by stephanie o 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this guy is crazy why is he asking u to move in if he has a gf try talking seriously telling him what sugns you getting from him and that he should try to clear his position .if he wants u then he should get rid of the current or something else,coz u need to get out of that situation quickly,,its blocking you from moving on,, find dear
GOODLUCK
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2007-02-12 01:43:24 · answer #8 · answered by broderm2k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clear enough that he is sending mixed signals. But as long as he sticks with his girl... the two of you are just friends. If you feel you are falling for him, then avoid all the flirtations he is dishing out your way.
2007-02-12 01:48:05 · answer #9 · answered by Lovie Fish Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you were to move there and he were to leave his g/f for you....then you know what's in store for your relationship with him. Tell him no because you don't want to move there and nothing true come out of it. What would the point in that be?
2007-02-12 01:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by dr_mctwitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋