I am 18 and I have recently moved in with my father. This is the first time I have lived with him in over 10 years. When I lived with him last, he was hardly around, and when he was, let's just say he wasn't the best parent. I am the youngest child and my father is over 60 with some mental problems and severe physical ailments. I feel like I hardly know him and now I am fighting with him to go to the doctor and I am doing everyday activities for him. He is becoming increasingly difficult to deal with and gets extremely angry out of nowhere. He is very confused a lot of the time. I find it hard to deal with this new responsibility at such a young age and I'm not quite sure how to go about it. Are there any suggestions as to how I can relate to this man I've never really known, or how to deal with caring for an aging parent at my age? Help.
2007-02-11 17:19:27 · 7 answers · asked by Jessica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I really appreciate the help that you're all giving me. To answer your questions, my father was an only child, he and my mother have been divorced for quite some time and don't really talk, and my older sister has a worse relationship with him than I do. She was abused by him when she was a child. As much as I don't know him, I feel it's my responsibility to care for him. I highly doubt he has alzheimer's. What I meant by 'mental problems' is that he is bi-polar and schizophrenic (not fun). I think being confused is from his drug use. I know I'm making him out to sound like some evil man, but he's just troubled. I appreciate the suggestions to look up support groups and look into social services. I think that's going to help me a lot. Thank you so much, you all have no idea how much you've helped.
2007-02-11 18:25:05 · update #1
support groups are a great idea. also, because of his age, you can call medicaid and ask for someone to come help a couple days a week (ask where or to be pointed in the right direction). sign him up for some senior classes (a senior bus can come pick him up for shopping, errands, counseling, and to senior centers).
can you get any of the other children to take turns with you? pick days or shifts?
i am dealing with the same thing also, as we all are. it just keeps getting worse as they age, lots and lots of anger, confusion, and doctors issues.... but you have to be patient. it takes a great deal of it for my mom, thats all i know. she has her good days and bad days. but its what i have to do, because i love her.
personally, if that man didnt give a ratsazz about me my whole life, i wouldnt be changing his diapers or anything for that matter. are you doing it out of guilt? in any case, what goes around comes around and his time is now.
THAT is why no one else (none of his other children) are in on helping.
SENIOR INFO
can be found here; just look under the senior section and the disabled section. (also look in your phone book for any kind of senior service, clubs, assoc, groups and call. ask them what they offer and what they require. call county social services and ask what senior services they know of also).
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/njcomputerchick
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2007-02-11 17:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They Never "Back off" Because they LOVE YOU!!! Now stop talking about your Parents that way you BRAT!!! Someone Really needs to teach you a lesson, my god if my dad was there he would have beat some sense into you by now! You need to sit and think about all the Horrible things your parents are protecting you from, and the life lessons they are trying to teach you. EDIT: I know EXACTLY how you feel, my parents are Over Protective, A LOT more than yourse i can tell. My Parents dont let me go ANYWHERE without them, i only get to be by myself when i go for a walk, and i have to have my cell phone on me at all times. And i get treated like i'm five too, I'M 17 years old. And I LOVE my parents for it, you don't know whats Really out there, an the way your talking about your parents is Horrible, if i ever said what you have my Mom would cry. You are a "Brat (Not the orignal word i chose)" And you don't deserve parents like that, They love you so much and you throw it in their faces. and Yes i know they do love you, because they are over protective, and that is the untlimate expression of love. Besides that YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, and they are going to treat you as such until you Grow up. Don't be in a hurry to be an adult, enjoy your childhood, but remeber that everything your parents do they do because they love you. Talk to your parents, have a heart to heart, you'll see.
2016-05-23 23:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the front of your phone book is the Government Listings section. Go to your county and find Social Services, Adult Mental Health, or another similar heading to contact for information. Could be a professional can come and give a lot of assistance, and the cost might be free or low.
Gosh, what an incredibly difficult set of issues for you to process at this still-tender age. Reach out, there's a lot of help. Social Services knows various agencies for you to explore service from.
Best wishes for your endurance and strength.
2007-02-11 17:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by Zeera 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is he suffereing from? Alziehmers? If so, he may need to be in a special home for that. If it's dementia, is he on the right meds? Please make an appt. for you to meet with his dr. as soon as you can-find out all you can about his ailment. Did he have a stroke? Is it a possibility that he could be moved into an assisted living home? That is better than a nursing home. Otherwise, please sit down with him sometime soon, and just talk with him. Ask him what he is angry about. Treat him with love and respect-even tho you really don't know him that well. Why are the older siblings not helping? This is a family matter. Not just yours. Take care.
2007-02-11 17:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by SAK 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. He is never going to want to go to the doctors because he doesn't know he has a problem. Where are his siblings?? Your mother?? Do you have siblings? If I'm right and it is Alzheimer's you're in for a long, tough road and I don't recommend you do it at your age alone.
You sound like a wonderful, kind, caring girl. Don't forget about yourself! Call someone and have them take him with you or by themselves. He needs to be diagnosed.
Take care, please let us know how this turns out! I sure hope I'm wrong about the Alzheimer's!
2007-02-11 18:00:34 · answer #5 · answered by My_Two_Centz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not easy dealing with an aging parent at any age I am 41 and having a hard time with it.
Look to see if there are any support groups in your area, also consider if it is real bad it may be time for assisted living for him. Just do not loose yourself in all of this. It is not easy to do the right thing when your head tells you one thing and your heat tells you something else. I am trying hard to convince my parents that assisted living would be a good thing for them, it would give them there own apartment yet the security I can not give them in their daily lives. The arguments and twisting of things is not easy.
Also find your local councel on aging and ask them for help, they are there for that.
2007-02-11 17:28:13 · answer #6 · answered by desiree c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him ask him about his child hood youll never knoe till you ask
2007-02-11 17:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by mountainchowpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋