Im 20 year-old male, And I need out of the navy. Can you Tell me the best way?

Question

I dont want to hear about how Im "abandoning my country", and I dont want to hear about how I should "suck it up and stick it out".
Ive been in the Navy for a year now, and I havent done anything wrong up to this point. I always do what Im told, I never ask questions. Despite what a perfect little airman I am, I still find myself being beaten down at every corner. Everyday I hear about how Im gay, and a ***** loser. I have 2 real Navy friends to my name and nobody likes them either. Im currently stationed in Japan, which sounds great, but in reality the freedoms we fight for, dont even apply to us. im not going to go into details, but I think I should at least be allowed to go to an off-base Church. Im not cut out for the navy, and I was tricked into this in the first place. I want out now, can you please help me?

Answer 1

How were you tricked? Were you shanghaied or conscripted against your will? Japan (Okinawa, I'm assuming) is a great duty station, and if you aren't enjoying your tour over there, then you have deeper issues. You need to speak to your Chaplain about your depression, because that's what this sounds like.

As far as hearing about how you're 'gay', who's saying this to you? Have you spoken to your superiors about the illegal harassment you're receiving? You do have rights; that's the most common misconception about military life I hear.

You need to use the resources at your disposal to improve your situation, and take personal responsibility for that situation.

In short, man up. No one else is going to do this for you, so get off your @$$ and make it happen, sailor... airman.... whatever you're calling yourself.

DD '73

Edit: Big Daddy, no sailor I ever met called themselves by those 'subtitles' in mixed company. And going the 'CO' route, after volunteering? You better be able to show genuine changes inthe past year. All your advice is going to do is coddle an immature young boy that doesn't have the honor or integrity to finish what he started. Whether in the military or civilian world, that's simply pathetic. He can stick out three more years, and then finish his tour. The veteran's benefits are well worth it,and it doesn't sound like he's anywhere near a hotspot. A tour of duty in Japan is practically a vacation compared to the other places I got stationed.

Edit 2: Fair enough, Big Daddy, if he's not going to be reliable enough to do his job when other sailors' lives are depending on him, then he should get out, for their sakes, not his. But a refusal to perform his contractual duties shouldn't be void of any penalties. In the civilian world, failing to uphold a contract usually gets you into some legal trouble. That probably won't happen here (although I personally think it should), but this kid needs to know how future employers will look at his shortened service. Quitting after 2-3 months is one thing (FTA). Quitting after a year looks a LOT worse in the eyes of an employer. And that stigma will last you your entire life.
Just make the right decision, kid, knowing the consequences both ways. And whichever way you decide, stick to your decision this time.

Edit: Aw, nobody wanted to play with poor little whodeyflya, so he had to search me out and come make homophobic comments to make himself feel better. Poor little guy, one day, when you grow up big & strong, you'll figure out how to make friends. [LOL@whodeyflya]

Answer 2

I am in th Navy ,too. You have a few problems and a few blessings.You need to work on eliminating the bitterness you have. Talk to the chaplain or your LPO. Find someone to talk to. Get a mentor in you command.They are there to support you.I know it must be hard and you are probably away from home for the first time. It does get easier.You don't want a dishonorable discharge. You'll regret it that you didn't stick it out later.I had a hard time the first year I came in,too and debated on smoking pot to get kicked out but I didn't.I have been in 4 years now and made E-5.No one will just hand you respect.It must be earned with a good work attitude meaning put the efforts in.2 friends isn't much. I don't have many but that is my choice.I'm a female and it's a little different for me being around so many guys.It is better to have less friends for me because it keeps me out of trouble.I am not saying I'm staying in.I'm going to finish what I started.They have me for another year but then I can focus on college.The point is remember why you came in. If you are getting harassed at work, you need to say something to someone.I was the same way at first as you.I got ridiculed by my shop but I learned my job and now who's running the show? I don't allow that treatment in my shop.It's demoralizing.One day you just might be in charge.Learn to confront and counsel people.Later on when you're running the show, you can prevent others from being treated like you are being treated now.he blessing by the way is Japan! It's nice there.I'm in a desert! I would Love to go back and live in Japan.Also, you DO have friends.

Answer 3

I understand that you are an "airman" because you work in the aviation branch and that IS the proper terminology, but listen, speaking as retired NAVY person, I'm not sure how you can get out and maintain your integrity and self esteem. There are probably numerous ways to get out "badly" but contrary to other folks statements, sometimes it takes a lot to get busted all the way out especially now with the shortages of personnel, and performing an act of criminal behavior (dropping the pot on someones desk) may stay on your record for a long time. My suggestion is to go to the Docs and see a shrink and talk about your fears and depression and say you are having panic attacks. The Flight Deck of a carrier is no place for an Airman to get panic attacks. If you are in fact gay, that may be the simplest way out. You will not get a dishonorable discharge for that OR mental problems. But listen IF you can stick it out and make some rate, things do get better the higher you go. Just try to make the best of it until you can decide the course to take.
Good Luck.

Answer 4

I had a brother in law that got out of the navy within a month not sure what he said, he was over weight and couldn't handle being called fatty. Anyways stay in the military no matter what because civilian life is based on oil and it's running out at a rate nobody wants to know about. 40 years of the stuff left. Ha thats a joke, in 3 years oil will be 200 a barrel thats 7 dollars a gallon and we'll be having random black outs. You'll be safer on a ship away from the masses than you will in the city where theres no food on a grocery store shelf and the people are looting and looking for whatever they can find. Takes oil to grow food and transport it. Are you prepared to defend your apartment dude? Stay in the navy, uncle sam will keep you safe, the military is all about oil and will seek it and keep it because without it theres no war machine. Also i live in a bunker in the woods. Good luck finding me people.

Answer 5

Im a 20 year old in the navy, also and airman, AO3. Hang in there it gets better. Keep doing the right thing. Think about your future and not the present. Try and keep your head up. Any type of discharge other than honorable will just look like a weakness on you any way you look at it for your future. It is completely normal to feel the way you do because everyone does. Think about what you did before the navy and rethink why you joined. Think about what you can do now and when you get out and plan for your future. Dont get out on a bad discharge, some times in life are hard and you are doing a good thing by giving up some freedoms for the men and women in your country. The first year is horrible, the second is horrible but not so bad and it gets easier.

Answer 6

The only way out at this point will result in you working at Radio Shack when you get out.

You only have 3 years left and in the grand scheme of things, that's not a very long time.

Sorry to say...stick it out...quit being a puss.

I was in for 6 years and I made it. And if I can make it...anyone can.

EDIT TO ADD----

Airman in the Navyis kind of like the department.

Airman is someone who deals with the aviation and what not...yes we do have aviation in the Navy...ever seen a carrier...

So...while leaving this guy negative comments...you are showing how much you know about the Navy!

As an undesignated seaman (E-3 and below) you will be either a fireman, seaman, or an airman!

Oh and dude...that was your first mistake..going undesignated!!

And that Bullguy up above me...doesn't know DICK about what he is talking about...don't listen to him.

Answer 7

Based on what you have shared, I see 2 possibilities. I was a naval officer for 4 years and speak from experience. These things really did happen.

1. You could make an appointment to see the chaplain, and say that you believe that you are gay. Just say that you find many of the guys in your berthing attractive and fantasize about them. It happened to a guy I had working for me.

2. Tell the chaplain that you are angry with all of the guys emotionally abusing you and want to kill or physically maim them. Say that you have thought about opening fire on your tormentors while on watch. This worked with a guy from my department. He was sent away for psychological evaluation and administratively discharged.

Just be prepared for what you will do after the navy whether it's school or work. Take care.

Answer 8

ok well ur an airman thats E2 right? or E3 i forget its been a while my husband is way higher rank.. People in the Military are jerks and say things but i'm sure its not hateful.. if you feel threatend you shouhld see someone in your command about it.
do your time and get out.. thats the best. if you do something that will lead you to get a dis honorable discharge it wont be good. if you go UA you can do time in the brig. contact me if you need to talk.. don't listen to some of these people on here
for the people saying your not an airman please so some reserch before you say somethng , there are ways to get out of the navt the right way
good luck

Answer 9

There's a great article in about.com regarding military separations. http://usmilitary.about.com/od/justicelawlegislation/l/aadischarge1.htm
Be careful how you go about things so that you don't have to return money that you may not have or get into trouble that affects your life later.

For the off-base Church issue, talk to the chaplain. I bet if you got a little something you need, like some faith support, you'll feel a bit better while you wait for your discharge (whether that comes sooner or later).

Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

you need to talk to a chaplain or your family support center. If nothing else, they may be able to get you reassigned. The truth of the matter is you have made a solemn committment. You owe it to yourself and your family and your country to make the best of it. I am retired USAF and I can tell you, that joining the military is one of the BEST things a young man like you could do for yourself. If you intend on making a go at life, there is no better place to start. Get some counseling and re-evaluate your situation. Good luck.