My boyfriend told me that he loved me even before we started dating. I never said I loved him back until a while after he told me. A month into our relationship, we got into a fight over small things. I felt like he was neglecting me and being unappreciative so I broke up with him. But then days after we broke up I asked him if he wanted to work things out because if we love eachother we should be able to solve our problems. But he told me he doesnt even want to be with me anymore and that he doesnt want to try and work things out. I dont understand, if he loved me, wouldnt he want to at least try to work things out? We didnt even break up over anything that huge, it was a misunderstanding and confliction of emotions. Dont people who love eachother find a way (or at least try to find a way) to work things out? I feel like he never really loved me and that he just said he did to please me so that I would give him a chance. I feel used.
2007-02-11 17:09:13 · 12 answers · asked by Julie H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Has there ever been a time in your life when you have wanted something so badly, (only because you knew it would be difficult or even impossible to obtain) and to your surprize, you eventually get it and realise that you don't want it afterall? Like some fantasies, you enjoy them being just that, a fatasy, but would not necessarily want it to come true, because if it did, you probably wouldn't like it...? At one point I really believe that this guy DID believe that he loved you, and realized it was just infatuation ...? I could be way off base here, but this is what makes us all stronger.... trial and error... hope your heart is feeling better soon :)
2007-02-11 17:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by Bite Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to write what you wrote, you say you were felling neglected, and he was being unappricaitive. Now, looking back being honest ask yourself these questions. Did you come to him like an adult ( really) and tell him exactly how you were feeling without throwing a tantrum so to say. Because let me tell you guys do not want to be with someone who is going to whine and cry over not getting attention when they want it, and are being " babies " about it. I am using that term loosely. A guy likes to have freedom. If they feel that is threatened with a girl or that she is being demanding, using guilt, or throwing tantrums....they find the door. A guy wants to be tied down with out the strings...let me explain, they want to be with a girl that doesn't need them EVERY second of every day, and that they can lead "their" own life with. Which bascially means they want to still go out with the guys and so forth with out you freaking out cause they were gone longer than what they said, and they would extend the same " respect " to you.
He probably did love you, but, after being with you felt you were to demanding or were trying to suffocate him.
If you are unsure about it, I would ask him if you can talk. Be ready to hear some hard truths about yourself. The biggest thing, do not try to turn this around, play the blame, game, or justify your behavior.
Be open with him and calmy explain why you felt the way you did, and ask him to be honest with you, and tell you what went wrong from his perspective.
After this is all said and done, if you still think its worth salvaging, then be prepared to work hard and make some changes.
Love can disappear just as fast as it comes when you feel trapped or compromised in a relationship.
2007-02-12 01:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may never know how he truly felt about you. That you broke up over small things and that he refused to work things out with you is very immature. I would say that people who do love each other do try to work out differences, It is a major part of any relationship.
2007-02-12 01:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he was saying this to get something in return ie sex, and maybe he was a little hurt by the fact that you didn't return the setiment as fast as he did which was why he gave up so fast. I do find it wierd that he didn't even bother trying to work things out...Don't worry about it, just move on there are better fish in the sea...Good luck
2007-02-12 01:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by Jane_Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oHhh... honey I'm so sorry for what your going through but if his giving you excuses why he doesn't want to work things out with you its A BIG SIGN THATS HIS NOT READY!!!! and doesn't want a serious relationship.... he might have feelings for you but I'm really sorry to say this but people do fall {{{OUT-of LOve}}} Honey, you all ready did your part.. you tried to solve things but he unfortunately didn't feel the same way... so hunn.. try to move on with your life I'm sure your a wonder full person that deserves to be treated better... GOOD LUCK * * *
2007-02-12 01:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by L@dy~E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men really miss use the word love. he was sexually attracted to you, he got what he wanted and thats it, he s running away from the relation.He thought if he said he loves you things might work out easily and quickly and it sure did in your case,dear , he s not even worth thinking of, just go on with your life and forget him.
2007-02-12 01:14:14 · answer #6 · answered by sammy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, that's the life if u haven't known that by now. it is full of bastards. and u never should believe empty words. actions speak for themselves. so if he were doing some huge sacrifices for u then he loved u. if he weren't and was just blabbering how much he loves u at the moment of orgazming after intercourse who even listents to that?
2007-02-12 01:13:54 · answer #7 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
not really maybe je was jus tryin to "giv u a taste of ur own medicine" since maybe he noticed you never said you loved him till a while after yall started dating
2007-02-12 01:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think he love you LOVERS will TRy and try more and try more they even BEg but i see he doesnt even try When Even you go first i think you should pray for a better one
2007-02-12 01:17:39 · answer #9 · answered by Ased Kooshan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chalk that one up to experience and move on...you got played, get over it...
2007-02-12 01:14:03 · answer #10 · answered by bigbro3006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋