how do you deal with the fact that your children never contact you?

Question

say you are 58 years old and your oldest daughter has stopped calling you or visiting you coz you treated her poorly (physcial and emotional hurt) when she was young, how do you overcome this loneliness?

Answer 1

Well, you first need to mend the broken relationship. I would suggest talking with her, explaining that you know you weren't the kind of mother she needed, and ask her if she would attend counselling with you...express your desire to be a part of her life and to help heal hurt that you caused.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

That means that you should contact her and set a time and date with her to meet you. Then you two can talk. You must tell her that you were a bad mother who treated her poorly and want to apologize for hurting her. This may be hard for you, but that is how you will have the peace that you need to move on. Just tell her the truth. She may not take it good, but at least you now know that she has heard you apologize to her.

You can overcome loneliness by joining a support group, there are lots of groups out there for people like you. Going out more often with friends too.

Answer 3

You parents never realize what you do to children till you really need them. The poor girl must be struggling to trust people and struggling with her identity because of you and now you wondering why you are lonely. Well you answered your own question and that is how she was feeling when you did not treat her right. Parents are supposed to be the foundation of a childs growth so that they can survive in this world. Now that her foundation was abusive to her how would you feel to know some man out there is treating her the way you did because that is all she knew that a man should be just like her father. You might say that the guy is bad right. Well anyway everyone deserve a second chance but before you reach out to her come to terms with the situation within yourself, forgive yourself and forgive her for not contacting you, also come to terms with the reasons why you treated her the way you did. So when you do contact her she will really accept your apology and trust you again. Actions speak louder that words.

Answer 4

You try, every day to beg her forgiveness. Never stop giving up the hope that the family bond will overcome whatever obsticals you created. I am in the same situation, although my father will not answer my messages. But you can never give up. She will need to be there at some point in the future, and unless you were a terrible, sexually and phiscally harmful jerk, than there might be hope. If she has just recently given up on you, consider counseling, and let her know that you are going, and trying to make yourself better through therapy. The only thing that we really have in life is eachother, so dont squander opportunities to make ammends. Life is too short to no have the ones that you love close.

Answer 5

I am sorry to say, but I guess it is just something you have to overcome. The parent in question should have thought about the hurt they were dealing to their children when they were so impressionable, when they were just small children. I know from my life it is hard to forget or forgive my mother for some of the things that happened in my childhood. And now she thinks I am supposed to ask how high every time she says jump. The thing is, that makes my feelings stronger to be distant. There are emotional pains that never go away and you can't ask your children to forget them. I try to let the past be the past, but at times it is very hard. If you have not talked about this with your children, maybe you should. You should tell them how sorry you are and let them go from there. You have to start somewhere.

Answer 6

first of all, i would give the daughter a very sincere apology (either in a letter or in person). the daughter is obviously very deeply hurt and probably all she wants is the love and acceptance of her mother. a sincere apology can go a long way. even if the daughter still stays away, at least the mother will know she did the right thing to make ammends. send the daughter special little things with a nice note or card for no specific reason. it's up to the daughter to forgive the mother, but the mother can do things to make it a little easier.

Answer 7

PRAYER CHANGES THINGS AND PEOPLE. I know that it's hard to hear and understand when you are hurting emotionally about keeping faith in God but that's the only way yu'll make it through in life. You cannot change how your daughter feels nor can you con her to have a love for you once it has been lost over so many years,but you can mend a relationship with faith, honesty and trust. God is love so have faith and pray deeply believing that a change will come and trust me it will happen. It's true what they say "Be careful what you wish for, if you're loud enough it just might come true." That has to do with a lot of faith and belief so start to believe now and trust in the Lord that a change will come. Peace and Happiness.

Answer 8

Do you contact her? Keep showing her your love. If you never said you're sorry, do. Your daughter would probably love to have your love and support if she could get past the hurt, and trust that you love and care about her. Don't concern yourself with whether she contacts you, just keep contacting her. She'll soften eventually. It takes time to get over childhood hurts. Write her a letter. When you feel inspired, write her a letter and pour out your feelings. Then she'll have something she can read over and over. You may want to ask her to consider whether she's punishing you. If so, tell her you've been punished enough and that you're ready and willing to make up for lost time and mistakes in the past. She's a lucky girl to have a mom or dad like you that cares.

Answer 9

Maybe your children are deeply hurt by you. As an old folks there are a lot of activities you can do to fill your leisure time. You can register to any society club at your neighbourhood or you can pay back your mistake by helping the poor children whose been neglected by their family. Just make sure that your intention is purely honest and avoid from indulge into any bad stuff. One day, when your children realise their mistakes, they'll come back to you. And make sure to seek apologize from them

Answer 10

You need to write letters. Humble yourself completely, don't argue, plead guilty and ask for forgiveness, first from God and second from your family that was affected by the sin. There is great hope for you because you are forgiven in Jesus.