My daughter just turned 6. Over the summer she started to pee her pants again. She's been potty trained since she was 3. I have no idea why she is doing this. This last week it has been really bad. She's pee'ed her pants 4 times. I don't know what to do!!! I've tried everything. Rewards for not peeing, hasn't worked, yelling, hasn't worked, spanking, hasn't worked, talking to her, hasn't work. When I ask her why she's doing it, she says "I don't know!' or "i need more attention!" She gets TONS of attention.
It doesn't hurt when she pee's, and there's no odor, so I don't think she has a UTI. Does anyone have any ideas of how to stop this or why she could be doing this?? I need help. I'm going crazy!!!
2007-02-11 16:23:39 · 9 answers · asked by angel_vixn 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
We moved, but that was almost a year ago. I talked to her teacher, and she is trying to find out what it could be. No new baby, no new stress. I just don't know.
2007-02-11 17:15:43 · update #1
First of all -YOU ARE A GOOD MOM! The very fact that you're asking about this shows that you care deeply for your dtr. Please don't allow yourself to be shamed by others for what you have / have not done up to this point. Everyone does things differently, everyone's child needs different responses, and once we think we've got their needs figured out, their needs change. We're all really just flying by the seat of our pants, no matter how much training we've had (I have a Master's degree, and counseled abused children in private practice, but now that I'm a SAHM, I'm befuddled by my own kids a lot).
My suggestions:
-Do schedule a visit to a good pediatrician (hopefully you have one you're thrilled with; if not, ask friends until you find a great one that you see eye-to-eye with...they'll be a great resource for many years to come). If the ped. finds nothing physically wrong, ask the ped for suggestions. They work with this all the time, and may have ideas and insights into situations that we may not have thought of.
-While waiting for your appt., talk with your dtr about the situation, and lovingly let her know that you're committed to helping her with this issue. Then, in a matter-of-fact way, set up some boundries/rules for the times that she pees in her pants. This could be something like: she would be in charge of washing/drying/putting away her wet clothing/bedding/etc. This allows her to have some control and responsibility for the problem, while taking you out of the middle of it. It also alleviates some of the stress/frustration that you're probably having, since you've probably been dealing with the consequenses of this problem (extra laundry; bringing extra clothes when you go somewhere, etc).
Do the best you can to be matter-of-fact about this. Sometimes this can be a symptom of some pretty awful things (ie: sexual abuse, etc), a physical problem, or other things out of her control. It may also be a way to manipulate you (which is something that she can control). In either case, having her deal with the outcome (laundry, planning for accidents, etc.) of her peeing is not unkind, cruel, or bad mothering. It's a safe, effective way to address this issue until you can get the ped's opinion.
Remember that you are the perfect mom for your little girl. God also gave you the perfect little girl for you!
We're all just doing the best we can; take care!
2007-02-11 19:02:19 · answer #1 · answered by 5fuzzybears 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All too often something like this is stress-induced. Find out if something potentially bad is going on. Something at day care, or maybe a relative... Im not trying to scare you, just want you to be aware that kids that are going thru some kind of abuse tend to start peeing thier pants, because they cant express what is happening to them any other way. If you have tried everything else and she wont talk, then take her to a counselour one time and see if they can get to the bottom of this.
2007-02-12 11:01:17 · answer #2 · answered by kaisergirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there a new baby in the house? Big family stress?
If my 6 year old did this, I would just take away all her pants, panties, etc etc etc. No pantyhose. Just diapers and a tshirt. Do this over the weekend :P Bedtime at 5pm, don't let her do anything herself - brush her teeth for her, talk weird baby talk to her [cuddleums want a new nappie?...] A 6 year old will be MORTIFIED! 6 likes to be loved, needs attention, but is wanting to be independent. If she wants attention like that, give it to her....
There is the possibility that something could be wrong with her. Before the drastic back-to-baby routine, get her checked out at the doctor. There are some conditions that develop after babyhood that could be starting to show up in her. If the doctor gives her an ok, give her one more chance before you implement something drastic.
2007-02-12 01:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by PinkPrincessNerd 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes this type of issue can be a control issue. Is there anything in your home life that might have changed? ANY type of change can affect a child in some way or another...a move, parent's new job, new baby, school problems. Talk with your child and try and see what's going on in her life. If this problem continues, I'd highly recommend talking with your child's doctor. You may even want to discuss this with your child's teacher. Sometimes they have insights on children that their own parents are unaware of.
2007-02-12 01:09:36 · answer #4 · answered by lac 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, as a mother of a 6 year old, it's not uncommon for them to have accidents. As much as it is frustrating for you, it's normal. They don't always have control of their bladder muscles. This is what my daughters doctor told me.
Don't punish her for it. It's not her fault. That is just horrible you spank her and yell at her for it. Call your doctor and talk to him or her about it. They'll probably tell you not to worry, but for heaven's sake, get an opinion before you hurt your girl again for somethign she can't always control.
2007-02-12 01:41:14 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said she gets tons of attention.But what attention is it? - spanking, yelling, rewards...children don't need that kind of attention.Children need love and valuable time with their parents.Walk with her out, cook together, play cards, laugh a lot, make a little party with pizza...That attention is what she needs.
2007-02-12 02:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by Livia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe she is seeking more attention please go to a psychologist or therapist..and anyways maybe she likes the feeling of peeing in her underwear..? does she cry when she pees? because that's a sgn that she wants attention
2007-02-12 04:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
UR NOT GIVIN HER THE ATENTION SHE NEEDS AND SPANKING OR YELLING AT HER SURE ISNT GOING TO HELP BUT WUT U SHOOD DO TO STOP THE SPOILT BEHAVIOR IS BY TREATING HER THE WAY SHES BEHAVING MAKE HER WEAR A DIAPER AND IF THAT DOESNT WORK MAKE HER DRINK FRUM A BOTTLE OR GIVE HER A PACIFIER SHE"LL STOP EVENTUALLY CHILDREN WILL DO ANYTHING THESE DAYS TO SAVE THEIR PRIDE
2007-02-12 00:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by lilsoso r 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
DEAR
HER LITTLE BLADDER IS STILL GROWING AND THE MUSCLES ARE REALLY WEAK BUT TAKE HER TO YOU DOCTOR HAVE HER CHECK OUT TO SEE IF ANY THING IS REALLY WRONG WITH HER OK I JUST THINK HER LITTLE BLADDER IS WEAK THOUGH OK
TAKE CARE
2007-02-12 02:04:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋