he was very drunk last night, and it all started as fun.. we were all drinking, but then his whole attitude changed and he started insulting me and he trying to grab me and scratched my face.. but i broke away from his grip... i had never seen him this way.. and i got scared.. but i know i have scared him too when i get mad.. what should i do? im kinda scared to leave him because everytime i try to break up with him, he get sucidal...
2007-02-11 16:16:10 · 42 answers · asked by ~ * ~713PR!NC3$$713~ * ~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dont you EVER make excuses for a man who hits! No amount of liquor in the world can be the cause or excuse for bad behaviour. The only difference is, when he's drunk his true colours are shown and when he's sober, he hides this dark side better.
Regardless of what the hell the cause was - GET OUT! right now! Never ever be satisfied with someone that treats you like anything but gold. You ought to be the centre of someones wolrd, not their bloody punching bag. Whatever excuses he may come up with, stand firm and explain to him that one single hit was once too many.
Make sure he gets that you will not stand for being treated this way. DO NOT give him another chance right away. If he really wants you back, make him prove it and work for it. Be honest in telling him that you expect him to get whatever help is necessary to make sure he never lifts his hands for a women again. He will make many excuses and beg and plead with you... and even if he threatens with suicide - that only proves your point of him needing help before you get close to him ever again.
If HE is not willing to make that small sacrifice (of getting help), then how much do you really think you are worth to him?
Its always your choice ofcourse, but I promise you... if you stay, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
2007-02-11 16:26:07 · answer #1 · answered by Aneska G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first start out by understanding that you both have a problem. You both need to see a doctor and quick. You are making an excuse for him. There is no excuse for him hitting you or for you hitting him. IF he is suicidal when you try to break up with him, then you should speak to his parents or loved ones. Tell them you have left and he doesn't know it yet. Tell them his suicidal past and let them handle it from there. You are worried about him killing himself....what will you family do when he kills you. This is not a joke, you have to save yourself first. be smart and get help and get out. IF you are living together have your family, father, uncle or male cousins assist you. Try to wait until he is at work or away from the home. Do not talk to him once you leave because he will try and talk you into coming back. You must realize that this is a serious issue and this is something you can not help him with. Good Luck and be safe.
2007-02-11 16:28:26 · answer #2 · answered by aprildin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is one of those touchy subjects.
You should never feel guilty and/or take abuse from anyone no matter what state they're in. In my opinion, when someone is drunk, they do things that they really want to do, but wouldn't normally do for obvious reasons. You did good to get away from him. If he gets suicidal when you try to break up, tell someone how he is acting. Try to get him some help because you don't deserve a guilty conscience for someone else's actions. If you want to leave, then leave. He is a big boy, he will get over it. He is probably just using that emotion to scare you into staying. Good luck and do what makes you happy.
2007-02-11 16:24:26 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember, if he does it once, he will do it again. I know it sounds cliche, but it's the God's honest truth. My grandfather used to beat up my grandmother only when he drank, but sometimes so bad that he almost killed her. As a guy, my wife has told me several times that I act different when I drink, but at the same time I would NEVER hurt her in any way. Let him know how he acts when he drinks and see how he reacts. Don't accuse, just inform him. Also, don't let the fact that he threatens suicide keep you around because at that point it stops being a relationship and starts making you a prisoner. Hope this helps.
2007-02-11 16:27:43 · answer #4 · answered by James T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie you have to get out while you still can. No one who committs suicide tells people that they're going to actually do it. He wants your attention and he's guilting you into staying with him. You shouldn't feel obligated to be with anyone. And you shouldn't be getting drunk. No one should be doing anything that takes over them like that. It may have scared him but the fact that he would hit you, is not only a bad situation but that's not love sweetie. Leave him while you can. My best friend's boyfriend was physically abusive, he kept telling her that he would commit suicide if she ever broke up with him. She broke up with him and he's still living. Eventhough they did get back together. Just like her, you have to realize that people like this don't change and they'll be like this for the rest of their lives. So leave while you can, don't take the chance of him doing something worse. Good luck sweetie!
2007-02-11 16:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once they hit you it's over! Never put up with that abuse. You have to leave, to set him straight. Don't let him play that poor pitiful thing on you, leave. Make him suffer. I would do that, stay gone for at least a week. He will call and beg and plead, then give him one more chance, tell him in no uncertain terms that this is never to happen again, drunk or sober, no excuses. Good Luck
2007-02-11 16:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN RUN RUN away from this guy and don't be afraid about the suicide thing--that is his way of keeping you around so he can abuse you some more. If he was really and truly suicidal, he'd have offed himself a long time ago. If he threatens you with it, call the police and the nearest mental ward and tell them you are in contact with someone "who is a danger to himself and others" Then, try and find yourself some counselling of your own to work through this.
2007-02-11 16:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it interesting when you write "my boyfriend hit me...BUT he was drunk." I don't think you should find an excuse for his actions.
Talk with him about whats going. If he even cares for you he'll listen and acknowledge his behaviour. If he can't look past his ignorance and pride leave him. Otherwise, you may get into a predicament that could be far worse than a few scratches.
2007-02-11 16:27:46 · answer #8 · answered by JM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he like this only when he drinks or is he physical and insulting all the time?
Drinking doesn't help so if your going to have future encounters with your boyfriend, avoid the drinking.
And you.... quit being physical with him because you are encouraging, enabling that type of behavior.
You both need help, profesional help. But for right, right now, try not to drink. Then see if you still like each other.
2007-02-11 16:25:50 · answer #9 · answered by BeArPaW_4709 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's only the beginning and I'm pretty sure it's only going to get worse. I remember when my ex hit me....I was drunk and I tried to tell myself that it was my fault because I got out of control. But now I look back and there's no reason to hit anybody.....especially those you "LOVE"......yes he might get suicidal but it's not your responsibility....he needs to seek some help or his family needs to take care of him....he might be messed up in the head but it's NOT your responsibility to fix him. As long as you leave in peace and have a clear conscience....you did your part.
Good Luck
2007-02-11 16:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by ?Jaileen? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋