I suppose both men and women can answer this.
My current boyfriend has been hurt in the past. And he is afraid to get too serious in our relationship, since he doesn't want the pain after we break-up, which eventually will happen, but probably not soon.
Now, I can handle this, to a certain extent. I don't want to get serious either, but I would appreciate a little more seriousness in the relationship.
I get what I want from him physically, and he's entertaining enough, being funny, etc. He's a damn good kisser, etc.
Would you let it be, and just let things go the way they are, which isn't bad, or would you leave him?
P.S - I have no intent of actually following anyone's advice, since this is MY decision, no offence. But I would like to have a vague idea of what others would do. Thanks.
2007-02-11 15:48:01 · 15 answers · asked by Nicole 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Good question. It doesn't sound like you are insanely in love with him,.and vice-versa. You absolutely can't heal him--sorry. And he's sort of telling you that--he's making excuses for why he can't completely commit. It sounds like that's okay with you. I think its OK to stay with him awhile--he sounds like a good companion in some ways. A relationship doesn't have to be perfect to be pleasant. However, it CAN be a trap. While you're spending time with him. you won't have the time to meet someone who's a better match. And if some guy sees you with him, who's kind of interested in you, won't approach because you're "taken".
May you should set an ending schedule for this relationship and stick to it? Good luck on finding your REAL love!
2007-02-11 16:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by preciselyright 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of is just gonna get hurt even more. Sounds like you are not interested in a relationship with him for the long run. Just try being friends with him. Let him feel comfortable with you. Well like you said you aren't gonna take my advice so I will stop. Good luck.
2007-02-11 23:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by Christina A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already said that you will probably breakup at some point...most people who are in a relationship that they really want to be in don't think that way....so either let things be the way they are between you or break up now.
2007-02-11 23:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by pepc1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nicole, you've answered your own question. If you anticipate this relationship isn't going to be "the one" and it will eventually phase out, don't worry about what he wants, worry about what you are getting out of the relationship. I would suggest that you learn to accept yourself, to love and honor yourself. Then you will find that you won't accept any relationship that doesn't honor you. It sounds as though you are not finding this relationship fulfilling. Time to move on. No reason to spend time with someone who doesn't honor you by the way he acts.
2007-02-11 23:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by judgebill 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What I would do. Is just give it time. I was in your shoes once with a guy. & he was the say way "didnt want to get hurt" but further in our relationship, he started opening up more and finally let it go! But you only yourself can help.
2007-02-11 23:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by girlofyourdreams_6905 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound like he just feel that since he been hurt before that he
trying to keep thing simple,but if you are looking for this to
work out then be honest with him about how you feel. a relationship is about honest and if you dont have that you
dont have much of anything. just talk to him then both of
you can see if you want to make it work or not.
2007-02-11 23:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys say that kind of stuff when they just want to poke around inside you for a while until the get someone they actually like. I figure if you like being treated like a hoe, stick around and enjoy the pogo stick ride for a while longer, otherwise, quit being a gaping floozy and find someone who can actually stand you.
2007-02-11 23:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by ManOfLove 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you can't help him, if he's been hurt as bad as it seems the only thing that will help him is time. Just like the cliche "Time heals all wounds". I'm a firm believer in that. Good luck
2007-02-11 23:55:03 · answer #8 · answered by yuenglingman1978 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't force someone to live their life with courage. The question is "how long are you willing to wait for him to wake up"? We all get hurt. How we let it rule us is the real test.
2007-02-11 23:52:12 · answer #9 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand the question. You said you didn't want to get serious. He doesn't want to get serious because he's been hurt is a cop out. He just doesn't want to get serious. What help? How would you help and for what?
2007-02-12 00:08:01 · answer #10 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋