What qualities turn you on or off a partner?

Question

As an expert in the field of relationships I have spent much of my life studying the reasons why romances do or don't work out, but I am interested to hear your experiences and to know what behaviour you prefer from your partner - and what you'd prefer them not to do!

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Answer 1

Turn ons are self confidence, an easy going nature, love of life, adventurous nature, they must have the ability to care and not be ashamed to show emotions, a romantic and imaginative urge to please the one they love is definitiely a thumbs up for me. If he can cook, all the better.

Turn offs are guys who act like they are single when in a relationship and make their girl feel invisible, bad hygiene, bad breathe, unwillingness to be intimate regarding communication, a guy who puts his mates first is a huge turn off, intolerance to his partners family and a bad temper seals his fate as an ex partner for me.

Answer 2

I believe that the problem with many sexual relationships is the "romance" factor. Romance comes when you conect the sexual desire with your "dream" aspect of life. This is why, in young ages many people fail to have a good end in their relationships. They have a better and more "pure" aspect of sexual relationships. But they fail in their relationships exactly because they connect dreaming and a persons performances. In older ages many people fail because the dream is "dead". Both tactics are wrong.

When you get involved with someone you should like her first for the good sexual relationship. Not because of her position, or assets or something else. If you just "go along very well" and stuff like that, you should be friends, not hasband and wife. The good relationships are primarily sexual relationships. And it is not a sin, to want to marry a woman that you like in sex and it doesn't make the relationship "dirty" and "low". It doesn't decrease the social status of the couple either.

Many people they seek for "romance" some times. they use this as a good excuse to break up and to start relationships easily.

People should realise that "romance" is not necessary to have a good relationship with deep feelings and respect. Some times people find that "good thing" in mistresses than their wives. And they can not explain this very well not even to their selves. The reasoning they had was falce from the beginning. You should like each other, don't check out all the wish list first! Think, that if you fail in marriage with a good person, because there is no romance, it is all your fault.

Answer 3

Forgive a jaded view, but a lot of women, marry a man, because he drives a fancy car, has a nice house. He offers an illusion of security.
Men do not think further than the end of their willy's and the ego trip of a beautiful looking woman accompanying him.
Personally I believe respect for your partner is the key to success, along with a desire to make the relationship work. A couples ideals and beliefs and values have to be similar. Today, many women surpass men in most fields. Men feel threatened, and women put aside their nurturing instincts to prove that they are more capable of their own lives and success, that they lose sight of the bigger picture.
This possibibly could be the reason, that why, at nearly 41, I remain single.
My best friend is a woman, yet our outlook on life is totally different.

Answer 4

Mr expert, if you really are an expert you will know that the relationships are not just qualities, A good relation is a combination between time, money, material things and of course qualities. If one of this main word is missing or is not strong enough in a relationship it will became unistable.
I explain:
Time: This is important to spare it with you partner, if you don't spend enough time the relationship is weak.
Money: if one side or both are struggling in their own finances may be trouble for them, than began friendship loans, I pay you back later an so on or just there will no be fun to share with your partner when you don't have enough to cover you finances. this Will may finish a relationship in weeks.
Material things: A present from a friend is always well appreciated but the lack of presents may tell a lack of interest in the relationship by any side.
And finally qualities:
trust, respect, loyalty, compression, good communication, and a smile will be always the base to build a relationship.
the lack of any of this things turn off the relation so they may be present in combination to turn on the friendship.
Sincerely my own opinion good luck.

Answer 5

Turn offs for me would certainly include constant nagging. This can become some sort of power play where she demands something to be done or fixed, and I do it fairly quickly just so that I don't have to here about it again. However, sometimes once i have fixed up one problem, she will simply go onto another thing, and then another thing etc etc. Eventually I may need to just ignore her, say no, ask her to do something for me or tell her I'll do it later. The turn off is ramped up ten fold when she gasps in horror when I ask her to do something (and of course doesn't do it or sulks). It really can become a boring power game. However, sometimes I must play it (a turn off itself) just to maintain some sort of self respect. Another massive one is her need to always have the last word in the argument and her amazing inability to say sorry or to admit fault. I don't no many other people like this apart from her son (her son is a great guy though). But get ready for a MASSIVE turn off. Here it comes...the inability to accept an apology. I totally shrivel like a Antarctic SCUBA diver when she starts the fight all over again after apologising.

Turn ons would include taking an interest and becoming involved in my hobbies, great conversation, when I can see that she is enjoying sex, when she initiates sex, when she laughs. i also really enjoy it when a woman flirts with me. I like spontaneity but also the acceptance that I may not always feel in the mood to have a big night out. Sometimes a simple and relaxing night at home can be a turn on if it involves affection or just paying each other a good level of attention.

Answer 6

Turns ons: A conviction is sexy, have an opinion and be willing to stand by it. Wishy washy Charlie Brown types are a turn off. If i as you where you want to go for dinner have an opinion and don't let it always be the same old stand by.

Adventure is sexy, be willing to try anything new at least once.

Sexual compatibility is a turn on, being open and honest about what you want and like, even the dirty little secrets you don't often talk about with your partner but you talk about with your friends or fantasize about. Let it out.

Not needing me to make you happy, but being happy on your own is Hot!

turn offs, unkempt, unintelligent, needy,

Answer 7

Well I have to say that I am a traditional type of dater. I like doors opened for me and all that. I have to add that there is more that turns me off then on to a partner. I hate bad manners, i.e. spiting in public or burping and farting. And why do men find it necessary to touch themselves in public and you know where I am talking about. The more I date, and I am 38, I find that real men are just very rare. What happened to self respect? Why can't we just find out about eachother slowly, whats the rush? The more I date the wrong guy, the more I am happy I am single!

Answer 8

His persona,that he does not take an effort to be presentable,and pleasant.His empression is "what you see,what you get". No intelligent conversations to break the ice,just direct to the animal action.,That is very turn off. My interest is high on a man that knows how to treat a person and a woman in me,I don't care if he is a player on the field. . I do not have the power to change a person according to my preference,as long as we have the same values and compatible to each other. And have a mutual decision of commitment to each other. And I would like to add that respect is very important part in romance.

Answer 9

When I first saw JD, I asked about him. My friend introduced us.We talked for a while and I tried to kiss him. He said no and explained that kissing like that was only when your in a relationship, so we talked about all kind of things (about 4hrs)
I walked home with a smile on my face thinking how the whole time I had watched him, he had been true to himself and was nice to everyone. I didn't see him for 3 months.
When he saw me he asked if he could call me some time...he did.
Our first kiss after a few weeks of seeing each other was great. And again being true to himself, he asked if he could before he kissed me. It's been 3 yrs, 2 yrs married and we have a daughter.
What turns me on is he is Himself no matter what, and he knows we always have to work at a relationship. So convertation and kissing are at the top of the "to do" list.
My X had decided since we were married, to settle in and be served by the...

Answer 10

This is a great question. I am turned onto people that are thoughtful, patient, talkative, affectionate. I like loyalty in a relationship, respectful towards my family, and a positive outlook on life. What turns me off is arrogance, sarcastic comments, and flashyness. Some traits that get me in trouble, that I can help but be turned on, are tall muscular men with jet black hair and tanned skin. I like men that speak Spanish. I like possessiveness and a little jealousy. Not overwhelming jealousy, just enough that I know he is thinking about me and wanting only me. I think the biggest turn off is a man that has absolutely no ambition, and treats other women disrespectfully in front of me. I also hate when men bad-mouth women. It shows me that he doesn't really like to be around women, and eventually will refrain from wanting to be around me.

Answer 11

well now....i could sit here and type out a real long list of likes and dislikes turn on's and turn off's but i just don't see the point...i have stopped looking for particular traits and have learned to rather enjoy the individual person with all the turn on's and turn offs i mean my God is anyone out there really perfect?? i think the most important thing should be the way the person makes you feel, they should be a compliment to you as a person not an ingredient kind of like the icing on the cake not the eggs that make up the cake. hope that makes sense....