How do you do a mental health intervention?

Question

My fiance's mother has panic disorder and refuses to get help, and uses and manipulates everyone in the family (including myself to a great degree) and makes her problems everyone else's. She has three small children from a second marriage and they are terribly neglected due to her disease and her total lack of caring about anyone but herself. We plan on doing an intervention with her, but cannot afford an interventionist. What would be the best method of intervention to do? she is a very volitile person, what are methods we can use to keep her calm so she listens to all of us? Please, please help I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

First off, you have to decide if you want to worry about the welfare of the family as a whole or how pissed of she will be...

I am a former version of your motherinlaw. My family suffered for many years and tried to play nice to help me so I wouldn't get mad and could listen. Selfish people don't listen unless you are saying things they want to hear!!!

Next time she acts up - CALL THE POLICE.

Start documenting the unsafe or unloving environment. These children are worthy of the help that is readily available but I wouldn't have anything to do with it until I had no other choices.

Remove the children from the home if you have to and report it. If enough reports are made a legal battle will follow. The BEST news is that there is almost never any backlash legally in the beginning. She will be given an opportunity to seek counseling, ordered to take medication and then, after she finishes being pissed off, will see that it was done out of love for the whole family.

I was mad for a few years that people were trying to "control my life" when the truth is I was controlling (and ruining) everything around me.

I am happy today, take Welbutrin XL daily, eat better, work full time and volunteer with battered women in addition to being a wife, mother and grandmother.

I will ALWAYS thank my children for loving me enough to improve my life - even if they forced it.

Answer 2

If she's volatile, it's worth scraping together some cash to bring in a pro. You're dealing with some heavy stuff here. You don't want to blow it. How much could it be? Some compassionate person would do it for $100. And then no one in the family is the targeted bad guy that will later become Mom's scapegoat. Smartest $100 bucks you'll ever spend. These kids are in danger. Do the best thing.

Answer 3

You will need to get a medical power of attorney. My husband did this for me when I was anorexic. Basically it allows you to have someone admitted for treatment if they are posing serious harm to themselves or others. You, as the future daughter in law, probably won't be able to. You'll have to have her husband or son do it. You don't need a lawyer for this. Call her doctor or a mental health center in your area and ask for their advice, as laws and such differ from state to state. Good luck to ya

Answer 4

if she is as sick as you say she will not volunteerily go. what you will need to do is petition her to a hospital. you will need to make sure she is a danger to self or others, an innability to care for self, contact your local mental health agency and explain the situation and they can direct you from there! 17 years mental health work!