Alright this is a bit complicated bare with me. Im 15, a bit young to date i see your point dont waste my time and dont answer. this girl and i really like each other but we live 30-40 minutes from each other. We talk ALOT. I told her its not that far and our parents are willing to drive and our older siblings said theyd drive, and we can go to parties in between our locations, and there are dances. I told her we would see each other often. She refuses to believe this and doesnt want to be hurt. IS there anything i can say or do besides showing her my plan will work, because i started using it and its worked out so far, shes skeptical itll fall apart. And in a year will both be driving and well see each other more often. She is just worried about being hurt. How do i ease her fears.
2007-02-11 15:31:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hello,
It sounds like this girl has a lot of fears, and has been hurt badly before so she needs to get over these issues. Learning to establish trust in a relationship with someone who was hurt badly is not easy, for until she gets over it, it will create some roadblocks.
A relationship should be 2-way. Both of you should feel the same about each other. If one is crazier about the other, it usually doesn't work out. Does she the same way about you that you feel about her?
If you develop a love between you, that love will be patient and wait for the day you both have cars. Having your family chauffer and help you connect with her is outstanding on their part, showing they support your efforts to make this relationship work.
Be patient with her and over time she will see you are sincere and trustworthy. If it's meant to be, her love for you will grow and eventually you won't have to rely on others for transportation.
Forty miles is not far away. You can write letters to her as well as be on phone and also have webcams where you could see each other.
The bottom line, your question is how can you ease her fears.
My answer is to not be too aggressive, be respectful and a gentleman, and be patient with her. Once she gets to know you better, her fears should lessen.
I recently read up on listening skills and learned a lot. When we listen to someone speaking, we should also consider what is left unsaid. Perhaps she has other reasons to be apprehensive that she is not comfortable yet revealing to you.
I hope this helps.
2007-02-11 15:42:53 · answer #1 · answered by Ivy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was once a girl in a long distance relationship. I know how the girl feels. I know she thinks it's not going to work, because you dont know fully that you can trust the other person. It is really hard to have a long distance relationship with someone. But, me and my boyfriend were 3 hours apart. & We are now living together, and have been dating for over a year. So if we can make it, I know you and her can espically since you guys really don't live that far apart. You just have to explain to her how much you car about her & don't want to lose her, and etc. & Make her feel better about it, then it might work! Hope everything works for you two!
2007-02-11 15:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by girlofyourdreams_6905 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe ask her if she'll give your relationship a 6 month trial to see how the long distance works. Tell her you want that amount of time to prove to her that you're dedicated and will do what it takes to make it work out.
Actually, if you are talking on the phone and through instant messenger all the time, you'll probably become closer than if you did live near each other. Because when you're not face-to-face, you tend to let out more of your real feelings.
Many people are involved in a much longer distance relationship than you two are, and it's worked out fine in the end. I know, I was in one myself and now we're married!!
Good Luck!
2007-02-11 15:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by Ruby V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i know how she feels my boyfriend and i stay about the same distance apart. it don't think she worried about how often you see each other but more on whether or not you will cheat on her , don't get me wrong I'm not saying you will but i am sire that's whats going on ask her about it and is if I'm right . if not show her how much she means to you rather then showing her thing will work out. write her a letter or poem
2007-02-11 15:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by jamie st theresa f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what you said you will do....go and see her and take her out...and eventually she will start to believe it will work and she will b with you
2007-02-11 15:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
they work i am in on now. and a happy as can be
2007-02-11 15:35:37 · answer #6 · answered by Baby girl 101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time.
2007-02-11 15:33:55 · answer #7 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with ure heart
2007-02-11 15:33:06 · answer #8 · answered by choco taco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SCREW THAT GUY BELOW ME....FIRST WAT U GOTTA DO IS SHOW HER SAYNSEE TOLD U IT WOULD WORK! AND BRO FORGET LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS TO MUCH DRAMA
2007-02-11 15:36:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
prove her wrong
2007-02-11 15:33:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋